When the Mormons in Utah saw the way my Russian Mother was raising me they rolled their eyes and called her "That Crazy Foreign Woman." Mum was always the smartest, best educated, best looking and by far the best dressed person in every room. She looked like Ava Gardener with curly black hair and stunning blue eyes. Women hated her and men were terrified of her. Everyone from our cousin the governor on down knew her well enough to admire and fear her.

For a woman in misogynistic Mormondom, in the 1950s, 60s and 70s, my mum accomplished some truly amazing things. She taught me life wasn't about conformity. It was about discovering who you are and learning to love the person you are meant to be, no matter how eccentric, different or even gay.

As an adult, armed with the lessons my mum taught me, I found that quirky, somewhat eccentric individual I am and a world where people appreciated me for who I am. Though to be perfectly honest, during my childhood I often wondered if this mythical world really existed.

Most westerners think the end of Communism was the end of the story, but it wasn't, not for me, not for the Russians I loved and I left behind.

This episode is about the perils and pleasures of being gay in the Soviet Union and post communist Russia, the necessity of dealing with the KGB, particularly as a gay man, and the day to day realities of survival in the violent chaos that was Russia at that time.

This story is about that frazzled time in Russia after the collapse of the Soviet Union and the murders of my family, my boyfriend and my best friend. I realized it was finally time for me to leave Moscow defeated and alone. I finally understood the only way to honor the Russians I loved, both living and dead, was to leave them behind. Someone had to live the happy, contented life they could only ever dream of.

In this episode I compare Trumps successful tactics to Hitler during his early years as Chancellor of Germany.

I know Nazi history quite well. I speak German and lived in Germany for several years. The parallels between Hitler's first few years as Chancellor of Germany and Trump today are stunning and terrifying.

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What I'm most scared of is that time when one system of government starts to crumble and before the next system of government is fully in place to replace it. It's during the in-between time when liberals and minorities start getting arrested and then disappear, economies collapse, hyperinflation ensues, your life savings and your parents' retirement become worthless. There are homeless and starving people everywhere, chaos and violence become the norm.

I lived in Moscow during the collapse of the Soviet Union and watched the rise of the totalitarian regime that replaced communism and became today's Russia. My best friend and my boyfriend were both murdered in that in-between time. That's what I'm most scared of.

I would have been among the first arrested in Nazi Germany. I'm a politically active liberal of Slavic descent. I'm terrified that my transgender friends and I are near the top of Trump's list as well.

Trump arrested twice as many people in his first 8 months as Hitler in his first 2 years (based on White House stats). Over 65% of them have zero criminal record (based on Cato Institute stats). They were arrested because of the color of their skin (based on fact).

This is what I told the right wing YouTube journalist, Nick Shirley, when he interviewed me at a peaceful Portland rally where we were demonstrating against the military occupation of placid Portland. Of course he edited out the truth, the facts and made me look like an idiot.

His skillfully edited video made it look like Portland truly is a war zone, populated by crazy old eccentric fags and transvestites. I'm very proud to say the second half of that statement is wonderfully true.

Of course you youngins are such savvy media consumers. You didn't fall for it. I've been getting attaboy's and fist bumps from perfect strangers all week long.

So, I made my own YouTube video, a long and short version.

Find links to both below along with a link to Nick Shirley's video.

Short:

https://youtube.com/shorts/gxNREvEmN34?si=pjtmS-d1wylO_XGf

Long:

https://youtu.be/yUwQfC3kzfI?si=2WAnFxxxsDRmwoht

Nick Shirley:

https://youtu.be/RKBvEKvDYIg?si=4VM2mJVRyy7HCnUL

I need help raising money to purchase a badly needed computer to continue my podcast and my vital work promoting love, diversity and inclusion. Please go to my GoFundMe page to help out:

https://gofund.me/2cc2aa948

What was it like coming out as gay during the Reagan years and at the very beginning of the AIDS crisis? It was frightening. Anti-gay violence was rampant and getting worse. Most of society, even our president only ever mentioned us in jokes. The men we loved were dying in droves. We were constantly harassed, fired, even murdered and no one seemed to care.

Instead of hiding we followed the teachings of Harvey Milk and America's great civil rights heroes. We came out loud and proud. Why?

I need help raising money to purchase a badly needed computer to continue my podcast and my vital work promoting love, diversity and inclusion. Please go to my GoFundMe page to help out:

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