Dr. Simon Rakoff has spent 25+ years helping executives, teams, athletes, and performers get better under pressure — and he and Dan go way back.

In this episode, they unpack Simon’s core framework (focus, relaxation, connection), why “bring the calm” is a real skill, and how tiny habits (like how you brush your teeth) can re-train a mind that’s always sprinting ahead.

They also get into the messy reality of team coaching: confidentiality, board dynamics, why a facilitator shouldn’t “perform,” and why sometimes the best move is letting tension breathe long enough for the team to build the habit of working through it.

If you lead retreats or facilitate leadership teams, this one is a practical playbook — and a reality check.

Episode Themes

• Bring the calm: why calm is contagious (and how leaders transmit it)
• Relaxation as a skill: not “just relax,” but training the mind through the body
• Micro-habits: practicing presence in normal life (teeth, walking, writing, driving)
• Individuals + teams: why coaching only the CEO caps results
• Trust + confidentiality: how to surface issues without blowing up relationships
• Facilitation philosophy: it’s not a performance — it’s the group’s time
• Conflict + habits: teams can change their defaults faster than they think
• The long game: building a career by stacking life experiences into a point of view

Chapters

00:00 — Welcome + Simon’s background
02:10 — First responder mindset: “bring the calm”
03:45 — Why Simon starts with relaxation (and why “just relax” is useless)
07:10 — Micro-practices: teeth, walking, writing, driving
10:30 — Why coach the whole team (not just the principal)
13:20 — Confidentiality + transparency inside team dynamics
16:05 — Facilitation under tension: truth over comfort
19:10 — Why Simon doesn’t always jump in (and why that helps teams)
22:00 — Education path: conflict resolution → industrial psychology → Aikido
25:10 — Advice for facilitators: stack your story + design for what the group really wants
29:40 — Wrap: the group’s time, not the facilitator’s

About the Guest – Dr. Simon Rakoff

Dr. Simon Rakoff is a performance psychologist with more than 25 years experience helping executives, teams, athletes and performers grow, develop and excel. Simon’s proprietary and proven approach cultivates three specific abilities that are fundamental to success: 1)Focus 2)Relaxation and 3)Connection. Simon is an experienced facilitator, having worked with leadership teams across a wide range of industries. He is a former career firefighter, paramedic and technical rescue specialist. His time working in public safety taught him how to work closely with a team effectively, even in high stress situations, and became the basis for Simon’s approach to helping teams and individuals achieve peak performance.

Social Media: LinkedIn

About the Assemble Podcast

Welcome to the Assemble Podcast. I’m Dan Berger, founder of Assemble Hospitality Group.

We build purpose-designed spaces for small team offsites and retreats, because the biggest things happen in the smallest rooms.

This show explores retreats in all forms—corporate, lifestyle, wellness, and endurance training—and the culture shifts that happen when people step away from the everyday. You’ll hear lessons from operators, facilitators, and leaders who design experiences that move the needle.

Our goal: give you the playbook for building clarity, trust, and belonging on your team—or in your community.

Learn more: assemblehospitality.com

Social Media: Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube

Credits: Hosted by Dan Berger, Founder & CEO of Assemble Hospitality. Recorded at Assemble’s Boise Retreat House. Produced by KazCM, part of the QuietLoud Studios podcast network. Distributed on SportsEpreneur.