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Hey White Women

Hey White Women

De : Daniella Mestyanek Young
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 In this insightful and candid conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young, a scholar of cults, extreme groups, and extremely leadership, joins Rebecca, known as White Woman Whisperer on TikTok and Patreon, to delve into their experiences and revelations about cult dynamics, white supremacy, and systemic racism. Daniella, who grew up in the notorious Children of God cult and later served in the military, shares her journey of understanding and deconstructing white supremacy as a pervasive cult. Rebecca, a Black Jewish woman, discusses her own realizations about systemic racism and the similarities between white supremacy and cult behavior. Together, they explore the complexities of deprogramming from these ingrained systems, the importance of acknowledging privilege, and the power of vulnerability in fostering genuine understanding and change. This dialogue sheds light on the personal and societal challenges of breaking free from cult-like ideologies and the ongoing work required to dismantle oppressive systems.2024 Philosophie Sciences sociales
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    Épisodes
    • Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 63 | Performative Relief

      Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 63 | Performative Relief
      Jan 15 2026
      In this episode, Daniella is joined by White Woman Whisperer for a wide-ranging, unflinching conversation about whiteness, community, deconstruction, and political responsibility. Using current events, historical context, and personal experience, they explore why white Americans, especially white women, struggle to form collective resistance, how cult dynamics show up in liberalism and patriotism, and why deconstruction often feels like loss before it becomes liberation. The conversation challenges performative allyship, critiques victimhood narratives, and emphasizes that real change requires sustained discomfort, relational courage, and a willingness to lose certainty, status, and sometimes relationships. Event Links: https://www.mobilize.us/indivisibleturningthetables/event/884215/ https://www.eventbrite.com/e/culting-of-america-book-launch-party-in-college-park-md-january-20th-tickets-1410603155009 https://www.eventbrite.com/e/nyc-event-for-the-culting-of-america-tickets-1979332610119?aff=ebdsoporgprofile Rebecca's Links: https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com https://www.patreon.com/whitewomanwhisperer https://www.tiktok.com/@whitewomanwhisperer Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon TikTok Instagram Website Youtube KnittingCultLady Store Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young From Bookshop.org Autographed UnAMERICAN Videobook Key Takeaways White America lacks a cohesive community identity, which makes collective resistance and accountability difficult. White women are often socialized into victimhood narratives that discourage agency and action. Deconstruction is not just intellectual; it involves grief, loss of pride, and loss of certainty. Cult dynamics show up in nationalism, liberal purity politics, and demands for perfection. Performative action provides emotional relief but avoids real responsibility. Resistance requires grounding, relationship-building, and long-term commitment, not savior figures. Fear-driven reactions prevent strategic thinking and meaningful organizing. Deconstructing harmful systems often costs social approval, but the cost of silence is higher. Being willing to be wrong, imperfect, and disliked is essential for growth and change. Real solidarity is relational, not conceptual, and requires sustained bravery. Chapters 00:00 Navigating Activism and Community Dynamics 08:24 The Role of White Women in Social Movements 11:14 Historical Context of Resistance and Protest 13:46 Deconstructing Identity and National Pride 16:49 The Challenges of Personal Relationships in Activism 19:38 The Complexity of Deconstruction and Self-Expression 22:31 Facing Criticism and Embracing Change 30:56 Navigating Conversations on Race and Understanding 34:19 The Role of White Women in Social Change 37:59 The Complexity of Martial Law and Resistance 42:42 Conversations Around Revolution and Action 46:36 The Impact of Whiteness on Society 48:45 Rethinking Leadership and Power Dynamics 54:10 The Game of Life and Social Expectations 56:13 Challenging Societal Norms and Personal Journeys 58:33 The Impact of Historical Trauma on White Women 01:02:23 Deconstructing White Supremacy and Its Effects 01:04:42 The Importance of Grassroots Education and Action 01:11:59 Taking Action Against Fascism and Community Engagement Produced by Haley Phillips
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      1 h et 18 min
    • Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Women Whisperer | 62 | Driving While White

      Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Women Whisperer | 62 | Driving While White
      Jan 8 2026
      In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how whiteness, cult conditioning, and authoritarian systems shape fear, behavior, and identity, using car trauma, policing, and "common sense" social scripts as entry points. Daniella connects her evangelical cult upbringing to intense driving anxiety rooted in ritualized fear of death, while Rebecca situates car anxiety within racialized policing and survival awareness. From there, the conversation expands into white privilege as the absence of danger, the dehumanization embedded in rhetorical questions, and how "anti-identity" often becomes the first stage of deconstruction. They unpack how whiteness trains people to perform goodness, demand conditional care, and replace joy with moral misery, while cults function as an exaggerated but clarifying version of these same systems. The episode ultimately argues that joy, embodiment, and play are not frivolous, but actively suppressed, and that reclaiming them is essential to healing after cults, white supremacy, and authoritarian control. Connect with Rebecca at: Website Patreon TikTok Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon TikTok Instagram Website Youtube KnittingCultLady Store Preorder for Culting of America: The Culting of America PRE-SALE (SHIPS BY JANUARY 20, 2026) – Knitting Cult Lady Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young From Bookshop.org Autographed UnAMERICAN Videobook Key Takeaways Car anxiety can be a trauma response rooted in ritualized fear, not logic or skill. Whiteness often functions as the absence of certain dangers, not the presence of virtue. Policing anxiety is racialized; "safety" is experienced very differently depending on identity. Rhetorical questions are often tools of hierarchy, not curiosity or care. Early deconstruction frequently relies on anti-identity ("I will never be like them") before new models exist. Cult thinking and white supremacy share core features: conditional care, moral purity, and performance. "Good girl" privilege is a specific, gendered subset of white privilege. Moral misery spreads by recruiting others into hopelessness rather than action. Joy and spontaneity are systematically suppressed in white American culture. Performance is often the only sanctioned outlet for embodiment in authoritarian systems. Healing requires more than knowledge—it requires building new relational and emotional models. Rage and anger can be useful; misery is immobilizing. Reclaiming joy, play, and embodiment is an act of resistance. Chapters 00:00 Exploring Car Trauma and Anxiety 02:53 Cultural Perspectives on Police and Driving 05:49 Navigating Whiteness and Privilege 08:22 Deconstructing Identity and Cult Influence 11:08 The Process of Deconstruction 13:50 Parenting and Positive Reinforcement 16:33 Rhetorical Questions and Hierarchies 19:27 Moral Misery and Community Dynamics 27:17 The Nature of Girlhood: Performance vs. Experience 28:58 Joy and Healing Through Performance 31:30 Cultural Expectations and Spontaneity 34:13 The Role of Play in Different Cultures 36:44 Self-Perception and Code-Switching 39:25 The Impact of Lying in Society 42:17 Discrediting Voices: The Politics of Accountability 45:01 The Intersection of Identity and Experience 47:56 Flipping the Narrative: Gendered Perspectives 53:21 The Myth of Meritocracy and Hard Work 54:10 The Cult of Productivity and Childhood Prodigies 56:23 Healing Through Art and Self-Acceptance 58:38 The Myth of Being Fixed: Embracing Imperfection 01:01:50 The Fear of Public Speaking and the Need for Community 01:04:01 Cultural Differences in Public Expression 01:06:12 The Pressure of Perfection and the Value of Enjoyment 01:09:09 Redefining Work and Enjoyment in Life 01:11:37 The Challenge of Authenticity in a Performative World Produced by Haley Phillips
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      1 h et 19 min
    • Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 61 | Moral Superiority Binaries

      Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 61 | Moral Superiority Binaries
      Dec 19 2025

      In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack the backlash following Jasmine Crockett's announcement that she's running for Senate, focusing on how quickly public support—especially from white women—turned into purity testing. They examine why Black women in power are routinely held to impossible moral standards, particularly around U.S. support for Israel, while white politicians are rarely scrutinized the same way. The conversation expands into how whiteness flattens complexity into good/bad binaries, how "moral superiority" becomes a performance, and how this dynamic ultimately protects harmful systems rather than challenging them. Drawing parallels to cult logic, respectability politics, DEI myths, and American exceptionalism, the episode argues that real change requires interrogating who we criticize, why, and when—instead of using critique as a way to feel righteous while doing nothing.

      Connect with Rebecca at:

      Website

      Patreon

      TikTok

      Connect with Daniella at:

      Daniella's Patreon

      TikTok

      Instagram

      Website

      Youtube

      KnittingCultLady Store

      Preorder for Culting of America: The Culting of America PRE-SALE (SHIPS BY JANUARY 20, 2026) – Knitting Cult Lady

      Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young

      • From Bookshop.org

      • Autographed

      • UnAMERICAN Videobook

      Key Takeaways

      • Jasmine Crockett's Senate run triggered rapid purity testing that exposed racialized double standards in political critique.

      • Black women in power are expected to embody moral perfection in ways white politicians are not.

      • Voting within a broken system is not the same as personally endorsing every outcome of that system.

      • Whiteness often collapses nuance into binary thinking: good vs. bad, pure vs. corrupt.

      • Moral outrage can function as a performance that replaces meaningful action.

      • Critiquing individuals instead of systems often reinforces the very power structures being opposed.

      • "Purity politics" mirrors cult logic by demanding ideological perfection and punishing deviation.

      • DEI backlash obscures the reality that white people—especially white men—have long been its primary beneficiaries.

      • American exceptionalism discourages people from imagining political collapse, change, or accountability.

      • Progress depends on asking better questions: who is being critiqued, for what purpose, and to what end?

      Chapters

      00:00 The Political Landscape and Representation
      02:31 Critiquing Political Figures and Systems
      05:06 The Role of Race in Political Discourse
      07:53 Purity Politics and Accountability
      10:46 Understanding Zionism and Its Implications
      13:28 The Complexity of Military and Political Critique
      15:57 Navigating Identity and Political Engagement
      18:43 The Impact of DEI on Political Dynamics
      25:01 Policing Perceptions and Motherhood
      28:06 Political Strategies and Accountability
      30:25 Imagining America: Leadership and Change
      34:52 Gift Giving Culture and Expectations
      47:06 Conversations on Change and Accountability
      55:36 Unpacking Ideologies and Personal Beliefs
      59:28 The Waiting Room: Transitioning from Cults to Community
      01:02:19 Addressing MAGA and Accountability
      01:04:51 Understanding Individual Experiences and Trauma
      01:10:33 Navigating Conversations Around Race and Feminism
      01:16:53 The Importance of Specificity in Discussions

      Produced by Haley Phillips
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      1 h et 18 min
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