“Don’t use that tone with me.” “You’re being disrespectful.” “After everything I’ve done for you...” Defensiveness in parenting often looks like authority, but underneath it there’s usually shame or a sense of threat. In families impacted by betrayal, it carries extra weight, because many kids have already experienced defensiveness as dishonesty or minimizing.

In this episode, Morgan explores how defensiveness shows up for both parents after betrayal. For the betrayed parent, often Mom, it can come from depletion and the feeling that everything rests on her, so a child’s pushback lands on an already raw wound. For the betraying parent, often Dad, a child’s anger or distance can hit right where his shame lives, and defensiveness rushes in to protect him. To the child, that can feel like a repeat of what they’ve already lived through.

Morgan also looks at the teen years, when a push for independence is a normal part of development, and at how “disrespect” can actually be a protest behavior asking, “Do you see me? Are you there for me?” This isn’t a free pass for teens. It’s an invitation to hold boundaries on behavior without making kids wrong for what they feel.

Register for “Witnessed” coaching groups for teens and adult children

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About the Host

Morgan Ellsworth is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (LAMFT) and Board Certified Coach (BCC) with advanced training in trauma-informed care. She is certified through APSATS as a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Associate (CCPS-A) and Certified Partner Coach (CPC) and works with individuals and families impacted by betrayal trauma.

Connect with Morgan @Healing.betrayed.families on Instagram or email her directly at morgan.ellsworth98@gmail.com

Visit Morgan’s coaching website

For those looking for therapeutic support in Arizona, connect with Morgan at her supervised private practice, Ellsworth Family Therapy

Thank you for listening to Healing Betrayed Families.

When betrayal hits a family, the betrayed parent, often Mom, may expect her kids to naturally lean toward her. After all, she’s not the one who caused the harm. But many moms find their kids pulling away, getting angry, or feeling closer to Dad, and it can feel deeply unfair.

In this episode, Morgan speaks to a dynamic she sees often in her work with teens, especially teenage daughters, impacted by family betrayal. Kids can’t always read a trauma response for what it is. What they feel is intensity: a sharp tone, defensiveness, anger that may be about Dad but still lands on them. Meanwhile, a betraying parent who seems calmer on the surface can feel easier to be around.

Morgan names the injustice in this. A mom whose own nervous system is in crisis is now being asked to become a safe, steady place for her kids. She offers compassion for how hard that is, along with a reframe that can change the relationship: your job is to be a safe harbor for your child, not to require them to dock.

Enjoyed This Episode?

If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review — Reviews help other people in the betrayal trauma community find this podcast when they need it most. It only takes a minute and means the world.

📲 Share This Episode — Know someone who needs to hear this? Send it to them. Share it on your social media. You never know who might be waiting for exactly this conversation.

Register for “Witnessed” coaching groups for teens and adult children

About the Host

Morgan Ellsworth is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (LAMFT) and Board Certified Coach (BCC) with advanced training in trauma-informed care. She is certified through APSATS as a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Associate (CCPS-A) and Certified Partner Coach (CPC) and works with individuals and families impacted by betrayal trauma.

Connect with Morgan @Healing.betrayed.families on Instagram or email her directly at morgan.ellsworth98@gmail.com

Visit Morgan’s coaching website

For those looking for therapeutic support in Arizona, connect with Morgan at her supervised private practice, Ellsworth Family Therapy

Thank you for listening to Healing Betrayed Families.

In this episode, Morgan sits down with songwriter, author, and betrayal trauma advocate Evelyn Reed to talk about how music became her lifeline after discovery and disclosure. Evelyn shares how she turned her journals into songs, releasing multiple albums that trace the ups and downs of recovery, from the raw anger of “Shatterversary” to the hope in “Shattered Still Standing.” She also opens up about receiving an ADHD diagnosis during her healing journey and how understanding her “beautiful brain” freed her from years of shame, gave her busy mind a place to focus, and helped her reclaim her voice. Her song “You Are Never Broken” speaks to anyone navigating the overlap of betrayal trauma and neurodivergence.

Morgan and Evelyn also explore a decision many families face: whether to tell the children. Evelyn explains why she and her husband chose not to disclose to their four adult children, how she distinguishes privacy from secrecy, and what it’s like to carry that choice. Together they discuss the role of intention in disclosure, what signs a parent might watch for in their kids, and why there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Evelyn’s song “I Was There Too” honors the children who live through a parent’s betrayal, a message that deeply resonated with Morgan. The episode closes with a reminder that healing isn’t linear, and that it’s always okay to grieve, lean on others, and ask for help.

About Evelyn Reed

Evelyn Reed is an author, songwriter, and betrayal-trauma advocate who transforms lived experience into words and music for those navigating the aftermath of relational betrayal. She is the author of Shattered Vows and Find Yourself After Betrayal workbook and has created an expanding catalog of music exploring grief, anger, identity, self-worth, resilience, and healing.

Evelyn’s work speaks openly about the realities of betrayal trauma including the questions and emotions that can be difficult to say out loud and the long, nonlinear process of finding yourself again. Rather than focusing solely on saving or leaving a relationship, her work centers on something equally important: learning to trust your own voice and refusing to abandon yourself in the process.

Evelyn writes under a pen name to protect her family’s privacy while creating a space where betrayed partners can feel seen, understood, and less alone.

Learn more at EvelynReedBooks.com

Email: evelynreed.author@gmail.com

Instagram: @evelynreed.author

Website: EvelynReedBooks.com

YouTube: Evelyn Reed

Books: Available on Amazon under Evelyn Reed

Music: Available on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube Music, and other major streaming platforms.

Enjoyed This Episode?

If this conversation resonated with you, here are three ways you can support the show:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review — Reviews help other people in the betrayal trauma community find this podcast when they need it most. It only takes a minute and means the world.

📲 Share This Episode — Know someone who needs to hear this? Send it to them. Share it on your social media. You never know who might be waiting for exactly this conversation.

Register for “Witnessed” coaching groups for teens and adult children

About the Host

Morgan Ellsworth is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (LAMFT) and Board Certified Coach (BCC) with advanced training in trauma-informed care. She is certified through APSATS as a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Associate (CCPS-A) and Certified Partner Coach (CPC) and works with individuals and families impacted by betrayal trauma.

Connect with Morgan @Healing.betrayed.families on Instagram or email her directly at morgan.ellsworth98@gmail.com

Visit Morgan’s coaching website

For those looking for therapeutic support in Arizona, connect with Morgan at her supervised private practice, Ellsworth Family Therapy

Thank you for listening to Healing Betrayed Families.