Host Greta Johnsen talks with Anna Holmes, a writer and editor who founded the feminist website Jezebel. She’s also a former advice columnist for the New York Times series “Work Friend.”

In 2015, Anna was asked to give a commencement speech for an all-girls boarding high school in New York. As she thought about what to tell them, she considered the idea that young people are so often told they can do ANYTHING. And while that can feel encouraging, she worried that it might reinforce the fact that girls are socialized to be nice and accommodating. Yes, you can do anything, but also, you don’t HAVE to do EVERYTHING.

That speech was the seed for her book. In the years since then, Anna interviewed many academics and researchers in all sorts of fields --child development, linguistics, neuroscience, you name it.

And the result is The Power of No: A Celebration (print | audio), a wonderful distillation of research and wisdom. Anna is careful to say it’s not a how-to guide. She doesn’t claim to be an expert in saying no. Instead, she’s offering up ideas for how to encourage people -- especially women -- to listen more to their intuition, reflect more on what they actually want, and then confidently say no to what they don’t want.

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At first glance, the question about whether you’d ever call a friend out of the blue is pretty low-stakes. But as it turns out, this is a topic that’s extremely divisive. Host Greta Johnsen talks to New York Magazine’s Kathleen Walsh, who recently wrote an essay for The Cut called “I Should Be Allowed to Cold-Call My Friends.” The episode also includes virulent opinions from a handful of Happy To Be Here listeners! This is a conversation about phone etiquette and generational differences, yes. But it’s also about connection, friendship, and how we show up for others.

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This month's GRETAGRAM book club selection is Exit Party, the new novel from Station Eleven author Emily St. John Mandel.

Like her other novels, this is a story that spans genre and time. It opens with Ari Waker, the villain from Emily's novel The Singer's Gun, as she goes to a party at the end of the world. Some very strange things happen at that party, and Ari is haunted by them for decades to come.

In this spoiler-free interview, host Greta Johnsen talks with Emily about her inspiration for the novel, her writing process, and how she keeps track of all the interconnected characters from her books.

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