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Find Your Freaks

Find Your Freaks

De : Tonya Kubo
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 Ever felt too weird, too loud, too soft, too real — or just too complicated to belong? This podcast is your proof that you’re not alone. Find Your Freaks features raw, unfiltered conversations with people who are building belonging in unexpected places — and doing it by showing up exactly as they are. Hosted by community strategist Tonya Kubo, this show digs into the messy, beautiful truth of what it takes to find your people. New episodes on Thursdays starting June 2025. Come for the stories. Stay for the humanity. And if something hits home? Tell your weirdest friend and visit Ever felt too weird, too loud, too soft, too real — or just too complicated to belong? This podcast is your proof that you’re not alone. Find Your Freaks features raw, unfiltered conversations with people who are building belonging in unexpected places — and doing it by showing up exactly as they are. Hosted by community strategist Tonya Kubo, this show digs into the messy, beautiful truth of what it takes to find your people. New episodes on Thursdays starting June 2025. Come for the stories. Stay for the humanity. And if something hits home? Tell your weirdest friend and visit https://findyourfreaks.com/Copyright 2026 Tonya Kubo Développement personnel Economie Relations Réussite personnelle Sciences sociales
Épisodes
  • 019 – The Intentional Design of Belonging

    019 – The Intentional Design of Belonging
    Mar 5 2026
    Why strong communities aren’t built through activity, but through shared responsibility and trust.Most communities don’t fail because of bad content, the wrong platform, or even the wrong people.They fail because of design.In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo explores why many communities appear active but still feel shallow or fragile. High engagement doesn’t always mean people feel connected—and connection alone doesn’t guarantee belonging. What actually sustains a community is interdependence: the sense that members rely on one another and that their presence truly matters. Using business strategist Gwen Bortner’s client ecosystem as a real-world example, Tonya breaks down the design decisions that create durable belonging. Instead of organizing people by stage, industry, or hierarchy, Gwen curates for shared values, protects the culture of the container early, and intentionally encourages members to rely on each other—not just on the leader.Tonya also addresses a harder truth: communities often fail because leaders unintentionally centralize power. When everything flows through one person, the group may look lively but remains fragile. True belonging only emerges when leadership distributes trust and members become necessary to one another.If your community feels loud but lonely, engaged but disconnected, this episode offers a powerful reframing of what it actually takes to build spaces where people matter.You’ll hear how:Communities often fail due to design, not engagement levelsConnection is required for belonging—but they are not the same thingBelonging forms through interdependence, not proximityCurating for shared values strengthens cohesion more than grouping by stageProtecting the container early preserves culture laterMember-to-member reliance deepens trust and relational densityOver-centralized leadership creates dependency instead of belongingSustainable communities distribute trust and shared ownershipTimestamp Highlights0:00 – 4:45 Why most communities fail due to design, not engagement4:46 – 9:20 Connection vs. belonging—and why the distinction matters9:21 – 16:40 How Gwen Bortner unintentionally designed belonging into her client community16:41 – 23:10 Curating members by values instead of business stage23:11 – 28:45 Protecting the container and maintaining culture through selection28:46 – 33:30 Why member-to-member reliance creates relational density33:31 – 40:10 The danger of leader-centered communities40:11 – 46:00 When control replaces stewardship—and communities collapse46:01 – 52:30 Why belonging comes from being necessary, not visible52:31 – 57:10 Designing communities where trust transfers and leadership distributesResources & MentionsEpisode 18 – Small Circle, Big Impact with Gwen BortnerThe Business You Really Want PodcastClutter-Free Academy by Kathi LippRachel Allen – Community support for spouses of incarcerated individualsNikki James Zellner – Carbon monoxide safety advocacyMeet Your HostTonya Kubo is a community strategist, marketing consultant, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. For nearly two decades, she’s built online spaces that feel less like comment sections and more like chosen family. She’s the fixer you call when your Facebook group has gone straight-up Lord of the Flies and the bouncer at the door of internet nonsense. As the host of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers and bridge-builders who know “normal” was never the point. Her favorite spaces? The ones where the freak flags fly high.Support the ShowIf Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.Let’s Stay FreakyFacebook GroupLinkedInInstagramPodcast HubWhat’s NextTonya talks with Stacey Morgan, an Army spouse of 25 years, mom of four, speaker, and author of The Astronaut’s Wife. Stacey shares how launching her husband into space reshaped the way she approaches fear, leadership, and going first. Together, they explore what it means to build connection and lead with courage in communities shaped by constant change.
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    36 min
  • 018 – Small Circle, Big Impact with Gwen Bortner

    018 – Small Circle, Big Impact with Gwen Bortner
    Feb 19 2026

    Why shared values matter more than size when building real community

    Some freaks build massive platforms.

    Stages.

    Email lists.

    Follower counts.

    And then there are the freaks who build quietly — curating small circles rooted in shared values, deep trust, and sustainable connection.

    In this episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo sits down with business strategist and operations expert Gwen Bortner to explore what community looks like when you opt out of hype, funnels, and “bigger is better” messaging — and choose intentional depth instead.

    Gwen has spent over four decades building businesses, forming networks, and supporting women entrepreneurs. And while she doesn’t run a massive membership or chase viral growth, she has cultivated something many people secretly crave: meaningful, values-driven connection that sustains itself.

    Together, Tonya and Gwen unpack what makes a community truly work, why shared values matter more than shared industries, and how defining success on your own terms changes everything.

    If you’ve ever felt pressure to scale bigger when what you really want is deeper — this conversation offers a grounded, confident alternative.

    Episode Highlights

    [04:15] Why being “smart” doesn’t mean being smart at everything

    [11:30] How shared values create stronger connection than shared revenue levels

    [18:40] Why curated small groups bond faster than large memberships

    [24:10] The confidence required to build “small on purpose”

    [31:55] Why sustainable success matters more than being the best

    [39:20] What happens when communities connect independently of the leader

    [46:05] How to ask better questions than “What do you do?”

    [52:30] One simple shift to help you find your people offline

    When Smaller Becomes Stronger

    Gwen challenges the assumption that community must be massive to matter.

    Her approach is simple but powerful: curate small groups around shared values — not shared industries, revenue levels, or status.

    In her quarterly planning retreats, women from wildly different business models and financial stages gather. What binds them isn’t similarity in structure — it’s alignment in values. Creativity. Kindness. Integrity. A desire to leave the world better than they found it.

    The result? A community that sustains itself — even outside the container Gwen creates.

    Private chats flourish. Partnerships form. Support extends beyond the structured event.

    Not because it’s engineered.

    Because it’s aligned.

    Success Defined by You

    One of the most liberating themes in this episode is Gwen’s clarity around success.

    She doesn’t chase being the biggest.

    She doesn’t need to be the best.

    She doesn’t measure her worth by follower counts.

    Instead, she focuses on being consistently good — and building a business she can sustain without burnout.

    In a world obsessed with scaling up, Gwen reminds us that confidence comes from knowing your own definition of success — and refusing to borrow someone else’s metrics.

    The Power of Values in Connection

    Perhaps the most practical takeaway from this conversation is this:

    If you want to find your people, stop asking what they do.

    Ask what they love about what they do.

    That one question reveals values. And values are the fastest way to determine alignment.

    Community doesn’t form around résumés.

    It forms around meaning.

    Meet Our Guest

    Gwen Bortner is a business strategist, operations expert, and trusted advisor with more than 40 years of experience across multiple industries. She helps women entrepreneurs define...
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    40 min
  • 017 – More than Participation, Belonging is Permission to Matter

    017 – More than Participation, Belonging is Permission to Matter
    Feb 5 2026

    Why activity isn’t the same thing as impact—and why belonging begins where responsibility starts.

    Belonging doesn’t come from being visible.

    It comes from knowing that if you weren’t there, something real would be missing.

    In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo reflects on a moment from her conversation with Jeff Yoshimi that wouldn’t let her go: people stay engaged when their effort actually changes something.

    From that insight, Tonya unpacks a distinction many communities get wrong—the difference between participation and contribution. Liking posts, showing up to meetings, and staying active can create the appearance of belonging without ever creating real agency. And when communities confuse visibility for value, people drift—not because they don’t care, but because nothing they do seems to matter.

    This episode explores why participation is safe and scalable, why contribution is risky and uneven, and why belonging forms not through sameness, but through shared responsibility. Tonya also speaks directly to community builders and leaders, examining what it ethically demands to steward spaces—especially when you’re managing communities you’re not personally part of.

    If you’ve ever felt invisible in a crowded room, burned out in a highly “engaged” space, or frustrated that your efforts never seem to change the outcome, this episode names what’s really happening—and why it’s not a personal failure.

    You’ll hear how:

    1. Participation measures presence, but contribution changes systems
    2. Visibility can be mistaken for value—and why that erodes belonging
    3. People disengage when effort has no consequence
    4. Belonging forms through trust, not inclusion alone
    5. Uneven impact makes contribution emotionally risky
    6. Communities fail when they protect comfort instead of meaning
    7. Ethical community stewardship centers member agency over control
    8. Belonging doesn’t require sameness—it requires responsibility

    Timestamp Highlights
    1. 0:00 – 4:30 Why engagement doesn’t equal belonging
    2. 4:31 – 9:10 The insight from gaming that reframed everything
    3. 9:11 – 14:45 Participation vs. contribution—and why we confuse them
    4. 14:46 – 19:30 Why people drift when nothing they do matters
    5. 19:31 – 25:20 The emotional risk of uneven impact
    6. 25:21 – 31:40 Designing communities where effort has consequence
    7. 31:41 – 38:10 Stewardship, power, and managing communities you’re not part of
    8. 38:11 – 43:50 Protecting pathways for agency instead of comfort
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    53 min
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