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A friend going back to school for counseling told me something this morning that's been rattling around my head today. Don't trust yourself.

Sounds like the opposite of everything I usually talk about. But he's onto something. We all carry a blind spot, a bias that runs negative, and if we're not careful, fierce encouragement turns into fiercely trusting the worst voice in the room. Or even that subtle one that runs the script.

I get into the tractor beam that pulls people back into old self-talk after a great week. The IT leader who told me she's done climbing the corp ladder. And a barbell metaphor I use at the gym that applies to a lot more than lifting.

Maybe the move isn't trusting yourself less? Maybe it's not trusting the first habitual response, the old reflex that shows up before you've had a second to think, or even trust that system you've created.

This one's for anyone who's ever had a good month get undone by a bad Tuesday.

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The power went out at Mark's house after severe storms. No lights, no charged phone, no easy distractions. Suddenly he's pacing, edgy, feeling that low simmer of anxiety he thought he had handled.

That moment pulled the curtain back on a bigger truth. He's been leaning on a crutch to manage his inner weather. And when the outer weather took it away, the inside got loud fast.

Mark talks honestly about cannabis use, the strange safety of calling it "not a problem" because you still show up to work, and the quiet ways dependence hides in planning, bargaining, and checking out. A friend asked him a direct question that cut through his excuses: were you embarrassed by it?

From there he gets into the real work of early recovery. Restless nights, intense dreams, anger, sadness, and the brutal self-talk that shows up when you stop escaping. If you've wrestled with imposter syndrome, self-image, or that feeling that you should be further along, you'll recognize this terrain.

The metaphor that won't leave him alone is the crutch you don't truly need anymore, but keep using anyway until it wears your soles down. For some people it's cannabis. For others it's alcohol, scrolling, sugar, shopping, rage, or staying busy enough to never sit still.

This isn't a willpower lecture. It's a conversation about fear, presence, and why treading water is still swimming when you're in a hard stretch.

They land on one practical anchor: just put it down for today.

(Thank you to Bill Maeda for his support and vulnerability. Here's a link to his YouTube channel if you're interested in his work.)

If you're trying to quit, reset, or simply stay with yourself through the storm, come listen. If it resonates, share it with someone who needs it and leave a review so more people can find Fierce Encouragement.

If you're tired of trying to do this alone, grab a free strategy session here. No pitch. Focused on helping you get clarity and experience coaching.

Check out the free Brotherhood of Being for any guys that are needing support without all the BS.

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You can be brilliant, experienced, and driven, and still be stuck for a reason you do not want to name. The hardest traps rarely sound like fear. They sound like wisdom: “I’m being careful.” “The timing isn’t right.” “I just need to refine it a bit more.” “I can’t trust them, so I have to hold the line.”

I’m Mark Walker, and I walk through a pattern I keep hearing on discovery calls and strategy sessions with high performers, founders, and leaders. One builder with decades of tech experience has a hard drive full of apps that never shipped, each delay explained with a reasonable story. Another leader describes a culture of micromanagement, then drops a truth that cuts to the root: “I just don’t think we trust ourselves.” Different worlds, same mechanism. When we do not trust ourselves to handle what comes next, we reach for control, perfectionism, and postponement and call it strategy.

We slow down and map the real leverage point using CFTAR: Circumstances, Feelings, Thoughts, Actions, Results. Most people try to change the outside world first, but the real work happens in the middle, where feelings and thoughts quietly drive behavior. Along the way, I bring in Viktor Frankl’s reminder that between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space is our power to choose. That pause is where freedom lives, and where “earned caution” can finally be noticed and retired on purpose.

If you feel this tug, listen through the end and sit with one question: what story are you running that you have started calling wisdom? Subscribe to Fierce Encouragement, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more leaders can find the tools that actually help.

If you're tired of trying to do this alone, grab a free strategy session here. No pitch. Focused on helping you get clarity and experience coaching.

Check out the free Brotherhood of Being for any guys that are needing support without all the BS.