What does it take to navigate a U.S. surrogacy journey from abroad—and how do you stay grounded when the internet offers either too little or way too much information?

In this episode of Fertility Café, host Eloise Drane talks with Richard Westoby and Julio Gaggia of IVF Daddies about Richard’s 14-year journey to fatherhood, the realities international parents face (legal, financial, and logistical), and why transparency and the right team matter more than glossy promises.

Whether you’re two dads, a heterosexual couple, or a solo parent exploring options, this conversation offers practical steps, candid cost talk, and a framework for picking trustworthy partners.

You’ll Learn

• Why many international families choose the U.S.—and the state-by-state legal factors that matter
• A realistic all-in cost range for U.S. surrogacy today and where surprises tend to appear
• How to structure your “team” (agency, clinic, attorneys, insurance) to reduce conflicts of interest
• The first questions to answer before you start (home-country legal path, embryos, sperm/egg/uterus plan)
• How to sort signal from noise when there’s “too much information”—and build your own decision tree
• An ethical, human-centered approach: what it looks like when things go right—and when they don’t

About Our Guests
Richard Westoby & Julio Gaggia (IVF Daddies) are the creators of the IVF Daddies podcast and community, focused on demystifying fertility and surrogacy with straight talk and heart. Richard is the author of Our Journey: One Couple’s Guide to US Surrogacy (Amazon). Together, they advocate for informed choice, dignity for surrogates, and truly transparent care.

Resources & Links

• Website: ivfdaddies.com (episodes, anonymous confessions, community)
• Instagram/YouTube: @ivfdaddies
• Book: Our Journey: One Couple’s Guide to US Surrogacy by Richard Westoby (Amazon)
• Connect with Eloise & Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Related Episodes

• Ep 93 U.S. Surrogacy for International Parents
• Ep 103 Choosing Your Family Building Team

• (00:00:00) - Why More People Are Going to the US for Reproductive Treatment and
• (00:00:56) - Fertility Cafe
• (00:01:47) - Fertility Cafe: Surrogacy
• (00:02:42) - ICF Daddies
• (00:03:20) - Tom Selleck on Surrogacy
• (00:06:16) - The Surrogacy Process in the US
• (00:10:21) - Why Do People Consider Doing Surrogacy Outside Their Home Country?
• (00:17:53) - US Surrogacy: The Process
• (00:19:19) - What Does a Typical Surrogacy Journey Look Like?
• (00:23:39) - Surprise Costs of Surrogacy
• (00:30:48) - US surrogacy and the birthright citizenship
• (00:36:11) - The Importance of Surrogacy

What does it mean to grow up “the first” of anything—especially the first IVF baby born in the United States?

In this episode of Fertility Café, host Eloise Drane talks with Elizabeth Carr about her parents’ journey through early, experimental IVF, what has—and hasn’t—changed in 40+ years, and how media attention shaped her advocacy.

With clarity and compassion, Elizabeth unpacks common misconceptions (“test tube baby,” “miracle baby”), why patient autonomy matters, and the very real barriers families still face: geographic access and uneven insurance coverage.

Whether you’re a patient, provider, or policymaker, this conversation offers a grounded look at assisted reproduction—past, present, and what’s next.

You’ll Learn
• How Elizabeth’s parents navigated early IVF and why parts of today’s protocol are still similar
• What it was like growing up under a media spotlight—and how that informed her advocacy
• The biggest barriers to care: fertility deserts, travel burdens, and inconsistent insurance coverage
• How to talk with kids about IVF from toddler to teen—age-appropriate, stigma-free language
• Where innovation (PGT, freezing, AI) meets ethics—and why informed consent should lead
• Why the conversation about IVF stigma feels the “same volume” today, just amplified by social media
• What providers and lawmakers can do to center education, consent, and access

About Our Guest
Elizabeth Carr is the first baby born via IVF in the United States and a long-time advocate for fertility access and patient education. She works in PR/marketing for a PGT company and dedicates personal time to answering patient questions and engaging lawmakers on coverage and access. Find her on Instagram @EJordan12 and at EJordanCar.com.

Resources & Links
Follow Elizabeth on Instagram: @EJordan12
Visit Elizabeth’s website: EJordanCar.com

Related Episodes
Ep 119 – The Grief of Waiting: Invisible Losses in Family Building
Ep 118 – Surrogacy and the Emotional Journey to Motherhood

• (00:00:00) - Is IVF Expensive?
• (00:00:36) - Fertility Cafe: The Legacy of IVF
• (00:02:38) - In the Elevator With IVF
• (00:04:14) - Born in a Test Tube Baby:
• (00:06:01) - The Secret Life of My Birth
• (00:09:23) - Elizabeth's Birth Through IVF
• (00:11:05) - What IVF Was Like in the 1980s
• (00:15:20) - Multiple barriers to IVF in the US
• (00:20:42) - I Was Conceived Through IVF
• (00:25:36) - Marriage and the Future of Reproductive Tech
• (00:31:46) - What message would you share with fertility professionals and even lawmakers
• (00:33:41) - Elizabeth Jordan on What She Does Now

What does it mean to consciously choose not to have children, especially in a culture that often defines womanhood by motherhood?

In this episode of Fertility Café, host Eloise Drane welcomes back filmmaker Chiquita Lockley, creator of the documentary Eggs Over Easy: Black Women & Fertility. This time, Chiquita shares her personal journey and decision to live childfree by choice. It is a thoughtful, often emotional, and deeply grounded conversation about identity, legacy, caregiving, and the path not taken.

With clarity and compassion, Chiquita speaks about what it means to opt out of motherhood on her own terms, while still living a life rich in love, purpose, and community. The conversation invites listeners to reflect honestly on their own desires, pressures, and timelines.

Whether you are questioning your path, navigating reproductive decisions, or seeking affirmation for a choice that goes against the grain, this episode offers space to breathe and consider what a full life looks like for you.

You’ll Learn

• What distinguishes being childfree from being childless, and why the difference matters
• How Chiquita’s thinking shifted over time through research, health challenges, and aging
• The emotional weight of redefining motherhood and letting go of a lifelong checklist
• Why caregiving does not require parenting, and how mentorship and godparenting fill her cup
• What legacy means beyond biological children
• Common misconceptions about childfree women, including the myth of selfishness
• Practical and emotional advice for those in a space of uncertainty or transition

About Our Guest

Chiquita Lockley is a writer, filmmaker, and producer known for her feature documentary Eggs Over Easy: Black Women & Fertility, which aired on the Oprah Winfrey Network. Her work centers on storytelling that uplifts Black women’s experiences and expands the public understanding of reproductive health and autonomy.

She continues to serve as a mentor, advocate, and board chair for multiple nonprofit and creative initiatives. Her voice is a vital part of the cultural shift toward more inclusive and informed conversations about fertility, family, and freedom.

Resources & Links

Visit Chiquita’s Website: www.chiquitalockley.com
Follow Chiquita on Instagram: @chiquitalockley

Watch and learn more about Eggs Over Easy: www.eggsovereasyfilm.com
Follow Eggs Over Easy on Instagram: @eggsovereasyfilm
Like Eggs Over Easy on Facebook: Eggs Over Easy Film

Related Episodes

Ep 119 – The Grief of Waiting: Invisible Losses in Family Building
Ep 118 – Surrogacy and the Emotional Journey to Motherhood

• (00:00:02) - 9 Stories of People Who Choose Not to Have Children
• (00:00:54) - Fertility Cafe: The Journey to Parenthood
• (00:02:44) - Eggs Over Easy: Will I Be Happy With My Decision
• (00:09:00) - Mariah Carey on Being Good Without Having Children
• (00:11:22) - I Had A Hysterectomy To Have Kids
• (00:16:45) - How To Get Out Of Your Mid-30s
• (00:22:41) - When You Decided To Not Have Children,
• (00:25:44) - I Said I Don't Want A Parent in My Life
• (00:32:24) - Black Women Who Don't Have Kids
• (00:36:51) - Do you have a lot of People similar to that made the same
• (00:38:32) - Sarah Fawn on Legacy
• (00:40:20) - Kalei Stewart on How To Decide If You Want Kids
• (00:44:56) - Olive Winfrey on Reproductive Health
• (00:45:57) - Black Women Speak Out About Reproductive Health