Nobody wants to be a doormat.

But a lot of women have decided that the only alternative is being someone they have to apologize for.

That's not true. And in this episode, I'm going to show you why.

There's a version of you that knows how to stand firm — without the snap, without the explosion, without going back to the woman you've been working to leave behind.

She doesn't get loud. She doesn't back down. She doesn't explain herself to death.

She just knows who she is. And that knowing is what makes her impossible to rattle.

This conversation is about how you get there. ______________________________________________________________

Ready to Own Your Authority? https://vvsliving.com

Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/C-yU3JG-LdY

Read the Feminine AF Blog: https://tunisharenee.com/being-aggressive-was-the-only-way-people-would-take-me-seriously/

When someone asks what you need, does your mind just... go blank?

You know what your kids need. What your partner needs. What your job needs from you. But when it's about you, there's nothing there.

You've been practicing not needing anything for years.

In this video, I'm walking you through an exercise that changed how I answer that question—the same one that helped me after my ex made a PowerPoint showing me how I appeared in our life... and none of it was actually me.

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If you want to explore this work more closely, you can find information about working with me here: https://vvsliving.com

Want the Needs inventory? Join my free community, The Legacy Changers Lounge. https://peaceprotectionprogram.com

Chapters: 00:00 Understanding Personal Needs 05:11 The Importance of Self-Discovery 09:48 Guided Exercise for Identifying Needs 16:01 Valuing Your Needs and Desires

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, doctor, or mental health professional. The insights and strategies I share are based on my personal experiences and years of coaching. They’re meant to guide, inspire, and support your journey, but they’re not a substitute for professional advice.

If you’re experiencing mental health challenges, please seek help from a licensed therapist or healthcare provider.

In this episode, I'm getting into where the word "selfish" actually came from, why I think the way we use it is bogus, and I'm sharing the story I don't tell lightly—about what happened when I was so depleted from giving everything to everyone else that all my son heard from me was fussing. And what that cost us.

In this episode:

→ What self-abandonment is really doing to your relationship with your kids (and why that sadness you keep calling depression might be something else)

→ Why you keep "sowing resentment seeds" even when you're showing up for everybody

→ The lie we bought into about motherhood that's keeping you from being the mom your kids actually need

This is the first step toward healing your relationships and reconnecting with your teenagers and adult children.

Grab the free Positively Selfish Guide when you join my email list—it's got a quiz to show you exactly where you are with this, plus myth-busting and simple steps to start today. Because you can't change your life without being in charge of it, darling.

Most videos about "losing yourself in motherhood" skip straight to the rebuild. But what about the woman you had to leave behind to get there?

Nobody's talking about the grief that comes with watching yourself disappear—and what it's costing your relationships when you try to push past it without acknowledging it first.

Inside this conversation, you'll learn:

👉🏾Why "just a season" might be the most expensive lie you're telling yourself

👉🏾The real reason small requests send you over the edge (and it's not a patience problem)

👉🏾What the stages of grief look like when the person you lost... is you

👉🏾The one step you have to complete before any "find yourself again" advice will actually work

About ✨Tunisha Renee✨: I help mothers of teenagers stop white-knuckling their way through relationships and start reconnecting—to themselves first, then to their kids. After experiencing my own season of feeling crushed under the weight of loss and identity shifts, I learned that you can't shimmy off that bench until you acknowledge you're pinned. That's what I teach.

If you're ready to stop pushing through and start coming back to yourself, I'd love to help you do that. 👉 https://vvsliving.com

And may the Lord watch between me and thee while we are absent one from another. 💛

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, doctor, or mental health professional. The insights and strategies I share are based on my personal experiences and years of coaching. They’re meant to guide, inspire, and support your journey, but they’re not a substitute for professional advice.

If you’re experiencing mental health challenges, please seek help from a licensed therapist or healthcare provider.

Setting boundaries with a teenager or young adult can easily turn into a screamfest and I want to invite you into the conversation I had with my son about doing his part around the house.

I'll wrap the episode by sharing exactly what it took for me to become this version of myself.

__________

Ready to go deeper?

If this episode stirred something and you want support unpacking it, you can explore working with me here: https://vvsliving.com

DM me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vvslifecoach

Using a familiar biblical story, I question a belief many women inherited long before they became moms. Most moms don’t realize how early this wiring started—or how much it’s shaping their relationships now.

• The belief about rest many women learned long before motherhood—and why it still shapes how you show up with your kids

• How the Martha vs. Mary story applies to modern motherhood without making one “right” and the other “wrong”

• How to recognize which sister you’ve been operating like most in this season of life

• What it looks like to blend both mindsets so your effort doesn’t come at the cost of connection

I’m Tunisha. I’m a life coach known for being the loving push behind women who are ready to break cycles. I equip moms to see the patterns they didn’t consciously choose—and learn how to create closeness that actually lasts.

Ready to go deeper?

If this episode stirred something and you want support unpacking it, you can explore working with me here: https://vvsliving.com

DM me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vvslifecoach

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, doctor, or mental health professional. The insights and strategies I share are based on my personal experiences and years of coaching. They’re meant to guide, inspire, and support your journey, but they’re not a substitute for professional advice.

If you’re experiencing mental health challenges, please seek help from a licensed therapist or healthcare provider.