"I am terrified of this dark thing that sleeps in me, all day I feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity." Sylvia Plath - Ariel

Shortly after making my unrestricted report, the CGIS investigation began. I was at my lowest point in my life and was scared of every shadow, every thought that entered my mind. The only thing keeping me from harming myself was my 4 year old son.

Not only was I dealing with the trauma of my sexual assault, but familial trauma was also resurfacing from nearly 30 years before. The connections were being made as to why I behaved and responded to trauma the way that I did. I was trained at a young age not to speak out and confront wrong doing. Silence and suppression were natural for me.

Meanwhile, the investigation hit major road blocks and I was asked to confront the Coast Guard perpetrator over a recorded phone call. Things did not turn out well and the feelings of shame and guilt were devastating.

Theme music by David Brown of Wayward Blues - check him out at https://www.waywardblues.com and on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/artist/0KgZ83CWsea30o358XU3S9?si=e8jb3BEJS2yvBirLqR8-PQ

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