Have you ever found yourself glancing around a room (or a Zoom meeting, or a group chat, or the chaos of your living room) and wondered, “Who put me in charge—don’t they know I still feel sixteen most days?” Yeah, me too.

In this episode of “Different, Not Broken,” I, Lauren Howard—L2 for the cool kids —am letting you in on the messiest, most liberating secret of adulthood: nobody, and I mean nobody, actually knows what they’re doing.

This isn’t some polished, performative encouragement to “fake it ‘til you make it.” I am talking about pulling back the curtain on why even the experts you look up to are mostly winging it.

I share my real experiences from the trenches—whether that’s running a telehealth company (where people call me for the right answer and I’m hunting for the adult in the room just like you), navigating ultra-complex compliance laws (with the help of attorneys who actually give me more “choose your own adventure” than clear answers), or trying to make sense of parenting a tiny human who bites (and I mean literally bites—this is not a metaphor).

So why should you listen? Because if you’ve ever felt the crushing weight of thinking you’re the only one improvising—newsflash, you aren’t.

I talk through the reality that none of us are actually the “adultier adult” we’re desperately searching for.

So, if you want to hear the truth about life behind the curtain—about what really happens when everyone is supposedly “adulting”—come hang out with me. We’ll laugh, we might cry, but we’ll definitely call B.S. on the myth of the perfectly composed grown-up.

And if you somehow find that mythical actual adult who has it all figured out, send them my way. Until then, I’ll be right here, fumbling forward, and inviting you to do the same.

Love you, mean it.

00:00 Unfiltered Expertise and Telehealth Insight

05:11 Imposter Syndrome Amid Experienced Peers

08:12 Indecision in Legal Consultations

12:40 Embracing Uncertainty and Growth

16:00 "Vacation with Kids: Not Restful"

16:46 "No Obligation to Perform"

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Well done, you've decided to escape MAGA. Here's the learning moment.

It finally happened. Someone said it out loud. Someone from the inside. Not in a viral Twitter thread or anonymous Reddit post, but right here, in full view and full voice.

Most of us have our ideas — the way we imagine 'the MAGA community'.

We picture the caricature: all bluster and bravado, insulated in an impenetrable echo chamber, barking at the world. But do we ever ask, “How does someone end up there?”

Or what it feels like from the inside, when you aren’t just reading headlines, but living — or surviving — through them?

On this episode of Different, Not Broken, we break open the familiar narratives to let the real, messy, complicated humanity step into the light.

Hi, I'm Lauren "L2" Howard, and in this episode I spend time with Beckie Eckhart — a member of our quirky, unhinged community online — who, in passing, mentioned something I never expected: she came from the MAGA world.

Like, really from it. And she got out.

This conversation isn’t a confessional. It isn’t an indictment. It’s somewhere in between — the untangling of shame, the naming of trauma, and a determination not to let that pain become an inheritance for others.

Beckie tells us what it means to be groomed by the people and systems you’re supposed to trust.

She shares what it feels like when religiosity wraps up with white supremacy and fear, and how the hooks get in so deep you can’t even see the cage around you.

She opens up about living in a state of crisis, the steep price of breaking away, and what healing really looks like when you’re holding a hundred kinds of regret in one hand and picking up hammers to build something better with the other.

If you want to know why MAGA is both a cult and a symptom — and why sometimes compassion is harder than criticism — Beckie’s story will stop you in your tracks.

If you’re looking for hope that people can wake up, change radically, and fight for something better… well, she’s proof, stubborn and scrappy and full-hearted.

If you’ve ever wanted to understand — really understand — why so many Americans are still stuck, how indoctrination works on the brain (and heart), and what it takes to walk out of the fire, this is one episode you don’t want to skip.

We’re not promising easy answers. But we are opening a door.

Thanks for being here and being open to the hard things.

We’ll keep shoving the door wider, together.

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Have you ever caught yourself rehearsing your 'acceptable' self before walking into a room full of strangers?

You know — slapping on that thin, artificial smile, smoothing out every quirk for the comfort of everyone else, and realizing you’re running a (very professional) version of a one-person Broadway show called, “Make Me Palatable”?

Hi, I’m Lauren Howard (People call me "L2"), and this week on "Different, Not Broken", we’re pressing record on a conversation most of us never have out loud: Do you find yourself needing to wear a mask?

In this episode, I admit something that surprised even me: I almost never have to mask anymore.

Freedom, right? But — plot twist — it turns out that’s not because I’m some brave authenticity unicorn.

So, what happens when a self-declared, professional non-masker lands in the exact kind of 'grown-up' cocktail hour her younger self would’ve run from?

Let’s just say it involves neurodivergent pre-planning, existential dread, and exactly zero interest in “introducing myself to some stranger just because that’s what adults do.”

If you’ve ever felt like the real you is just a bit too much (or not enough) for the room, this one’s for you.

(P.S. If you find a secret trick for ordering drinks like a normal adult at a work party, please message me. For science.)

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00:00 Selective Social Engagement

05:04 "Fashionably Late Party Entrance"

09:24 First Impressions Evolve Quickly

10:57 "Obligations and Friendship Dynamics"

15:16 Ending Calls Unconventionally

17:06 "Ending Conversations Simply"

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