Is it okay to feel grief as the parent of a neurodivergent child? Dave and Emily turn up in their pyjamas, coffee in hand, to talk honestly about the quiet grief that creeps in when you compare your kids' lives to other families'.

This isn't grief for our kids. We adore them exactly as they are. It's the micro disappointments: friendships that happen online instead of at the park, the birthday party that went wrong, the safe food cooked upside down, the drop-off that never happens. Then we flip it and share the big little wins that make it all worth it: a first solo shave, a gig with a 15-year-old who wanted Mum there the whole time, and a list in a notes app that got a family through burnout.

We finish on the question every parent of a neurodivergent teen carries: will they be okay when we're gone?

What's one big little win your family had this week?

And if you're a neurodivergent adult, or you love one, what does life look like for you after school? Tell us in the comments.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Why we're in our pyjamas
01:20 Comparing our kids to other families
03:08 "I never had any expectations"
08:22 Grieving the experience, not the child
09:37 Friendships look different now
13:43 Wanting to go, and what it costs
16:18 The Optimus Prime birthday party
18:40 Waiting for the phone call from school
20:44 Footy, Starfish Nippers and finding a fit
26:32 The micro disappointments
30:40 The Father's Day food quest
35:32 The upside-down pizza
38:44 Why would they understand?
39:50 Flipping the script: big little wins
40:34 The camping dinner win
48:53 "Mum, I want you with me"
51:52 Movies with my son
52:47 The shower win
53:58 First solo shave
56:17 Keeping a wins list
57:47 Will he be okay when we're gone?
1:04:04 Dignity, not discipline
1:06:27 Celebrate the person, not the outcome

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What does an Education Support Worker actually do?

Dave works in a secondary school. Emily works across a primary school. In this episode of Different Is Normal, we take you inside the real day-to-day work of Education Support — and it’s a lot more than simply “helping kids in class”.

We talk about academic, social, emotional and medical support, building relationships, school avoidance, modifying learning, reporting, camps, IEPs, understanding individual interests and triggers, and working alongside teachers.

Dave shares the story of a student who returned to say goodbye after leaving his school — including a plush penguin and a moment that showed just how much their relationship had meant.

We also explore school avoidance and why progress that might seem tiny from the outside can be enormous for a student.

Sometimes success isn't completing a worksheet.

Sometimes it's getting out of the car.

Sometimes it's walking through the school gate.

Sometimes it's looking through the classroom window.

And sometimes, eventually, it's walking through that classroom door.

Emily shares how knowing a student's interests helped her connect with a child returning after three weeks away from school, turning a difficult transition into engagement and participation.

Great Education Support isn't about doing everything for a student. It's about understanding the individual, building trust, removing barriers and supporting greater independence.

If you're an Education Support Worker, what's one moment that reminded you why you do this job?

If you're a teacher, parent or student, what difference has a great Education Support Worker made to you?

Tell us in the comments.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 What does an Education Support Worker do?
00:10 A day in secondary school ES
01:29 Emily's day in primary school
02:27 Funding and student needs
03:13 The student Dave will never forget
04:01 Why Dave bought him a penguin
05:03 The goodbye that meant everything
06:16 “We lasted because of you”
06:49 The emotional side of ES
08:00 Supporting school avoidance
09:05 Getting through the school gate
10:05 Building trust through interests
11:07 From watching to entering the classroom
13:00 Celebrating the small wins
21:45 Camps and responsibilities
21:49 Reporting and observations
22:49 Modifying curriculum
23:28 Supporting complex medical needs
24:19 Documenting behaviour and progress
26:01 Why student history matters
26:39 Using interests to build engagement
28:11 Celebrating the wins
28:14 Learning from other ES staff
28:43 Why handovers matter
29:26 IEPs, interests and triggers
30:17 Why ES are integral to classrooms
31:34 Tell us about your ES experience
31:57 Something new is coming

▶️ Watch the full episode:
https://youtu.be/WqwZXnmIWsA

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If conversations about neurodivergence, disability, education and the people supporting our kids matter to you, please consider subscribing.

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48% of women with disabilities have experienced physical violence.

Women with Disabilities Victoria reports this compared with 28% of women without disabilities. It also reports that 33% of women with disabilities have experienced sexual violence.

Those numbers are confronting.

But this episode of Different Is Normal asks a different question:

What do men need to change?

Dave and Emily discuss violence against women, particularly neurodivergent and disabled women, and how dependence, communication differences, masking, compliance and unequal power can make abuse harder to recognise, report or escape.

We explore abuse that isn’t always recognised: controlling money, withholding medication or transport, exploiting dependence, coercive control, speaking for someone and using a woman’s diagnosis to undermine her credibility.

Then we turn the question onto men.

What do we laugh at? What do we let slide? What do we do when another man crosses the line? What are boys learning from us?

Why are women still being taught how to stay safe instead of men being taught not to make them unsafe?

This isn’t a women’s problem to solve. Men need to be part of the change.

What is one thing men can do in everyday life that would make women safer? Tell us in the comments.

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CHAPTERS:

00:00 The statistic we need to talk about
00:47 “It’s horrifying, but it’s our reality”
01:11 Sexual violence against women with disabilities
03:32 Why disabled women face greater risk
04:27 Why abuse can be harder to recognise
06:40 What responsibility do men have?
07:36 Abuse isn’t always physical or sexual
10:21 When “care” becomes control
11:51 Do women know they’re being abused?
13:55 Gaslighting, power and hidden abuse
16:23 This isn’t a women’s problem to solve
19:26 Most violence comes from someone women know
20:56 When your abuser is also your support person
22:53 Neurodivergence, compliance and late diagnosis
23:43 Stop asking “Why didn’t she leave?”
25:16 Stop putting responsibility on women
25:40 Men need to change
29:16 Sydney Swans and the media response
31:22 What violence isn’t making the news?
33:46 Why aren’t we seeing what’s happening?
36:42 Gender inequality starts young
38:18 What are children learning at home?
39:13 Men need to call sexism out
42:45 Silence contributes to the culture
44:05 Disability used to discredit women
45:08 Why reporting can feel impossible
46:47 Emily’s experience of workplace sexism
50:01 Do women need men to “protect” them?
51:31 Why women choose the bear
53:28 Men need to stop other men
53:39 What men can change tomorrow
55:34 Emily’s challenge to men
59:11 The question every man should ask
59:55 This is a men’s problem to solve
1:00:07 Start with yourself

If conversations like this matter to you, please consider subscribing. We’re building a community where we talk openly about neurodivergence, disability and the parts of life that don’t always get discussed.

CONTENT NOTE: This episode discusses sexual violence, physical violence, coercive control and abuse.

If you or someone you know is experiencing violence or abuse in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT:
1800 737 732
https://www.1800respect.org.au/

If someone is in immediate danger, call 000.

#ViolenceAgainstWomen #Disability #Neurodivergence #DifferentIsNormal #GenderBasedViolence #DisabilityRights #MensResponsibility #CoerciveControl