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Many parents of neurodivergent children reach a moment when changing plans starts to feel like personal failure.

In this episode of Decision Pause, Dr. Leslie Jensen-Inman talks about why that feeling shows up so strongly—and why it doesn’t mean you were wrong, careless, or inconsistent.

This conversation is about non-linear development, shifting capacity, quiet grief, and why responsiveness is not the same thing as giving up.

1. Why changing course can feel like admitting defeat
2. How repeated re-decisions can quietly erode parental confidence
3. The myth that “good decisions” never need revision
4. Why neurodivergent development is inherently non-linear
5. The grief parents carry when something hoped-for doesn’t work
6. How to reframe “failure” as information and learning

Parents often do everything “right”:

they research, consult professionals, prepare their child, and brace themselves—

only to discover that something doesn’t work, stops working, or costs more than expected.

When that happens, many parents start telling themselves stories like:

1. I should have known better.
2. We wasted time or energy.
3. I set my child back.

But decisions made without guaranteed outcomes are not failures when they need revision.

Instead of asking:

“Why didn’t this work?”

Try asking:

“What did this teach us?”

Sometimes the answer is:

1. Our capacity was lower than we thought
2. The timing wasn’t right
3. This support didn’t match our child’s needs

Learning doesn’t require success to be valid.

Staying with something that causes harm is not perseverance.

Stopping, pausing, or choosing differently can be a protective decision—not a reactive one.

Changing course doesn’t mean you were wrong before.

It often means conditions have changed.

You are not failing because something didn’t work.

You are responding to new information.

And responding to new information is one of the most responsible things a parent can do.

In the next episode, we’ll talk about capacity—and why low capacity is so often mistaken for lack of character.

Until then, if you’re worn down from having to change course again, see if you can meet yourself with a little compassion. You deserve it.

This has been Decision Pause.

Thank you for listening—and we’ll pause again next time.

Some decisions look fine in the moment—until everything falls apart later.

In this episode of Decision Pause, Dr. Leslie Jensen-Inman talks about delayed cost: the emotional, nervous-system, and relational impact that shows up hours or days after an activity, appointment, or demand.

This episode is for parents of neurodivergent children who’ve been told “it went fine” but are left managing the fallout at home—and wondering if they missed something.

1. Why some nervous systems hold it together first and crash later
2. How delayed cost makes decision-making feel heavier and more uncertain
3. Common ways delayed cost shows up after “successful” events
4. Why recovery matters just as much as performance
5. How self-doubt creeps in when impact isn’t immediate or visible
6. A simple reframe to help you evaluate decisions more honestly

1. Emotional crashes after events that seemed to go well
2. Increased dysregulation the next day
3. Longer recovery times after short demands
4. Loss of trust when pushing felt unsafe
5. Parents feeling depleted, disconnected, or resentful

These impacts rarely show up in reports or feedback.

They show up at home—in the quiet, and in the days that follow.

Instead of asking, “Did this work?”

Try asking:

What did this cost us afterward?

Sometimes the answer is:

1. It took days to recover
2. We lost emotional stability
3. It drained more than we realized

Sometimes the answer is:

1. The recovery was manageable
2. The cost felt sustainable

Both answers are useful information.

You are allowed to make decisions based not just on how something goes—but on how your family recovers afterward.

That’s not avoiding growth.

That’s choosing sustainability.

In the next episode, we’ll talk about why changing course can start to feel like failure—and why that feeling shows up so strongly for so many parents.

Until then, if you’re questioning a decision because of what happened later, see if you can replace self-blame with curiosity.

This has been Decision Pause.

Thank you for being here—and we’ll pause again next time.

Parents of neurodivergent children are often forced into an impossible decision frame: push or protect.

In this episode of Decision Pause, Dr. Leslie Jensen-Inman explores why this binary causes so much stress—and why the problem isn’t your ability to decide, but the question itself.

We talk about fluctuating capacity, invisible data, recovery costs, and why responsiveness is not the same as inconsistency. This episode offers a gentler way to think about decisions that honors real life, real constraints, and real nervous systems.

1. Why “push or protect” is a false and harmful binary
2. How fluctuating capacity makes prediction impossible
3. The hidden emotional weight many parents carry when they choose to protect
4. Why changing your mind isn’t failure—it’s responsiveness
5. The invisible data parents of neurodivergent children are constantly tracking
6. A gentler reframe for making decisions without guilt or judgment

Instead of asking “Should I push or protect?”, consider asking:

1. What does capacity look like right now?
2. What is the recovery cost of this decision?
3. What am I protecting—and what am I supporting—with this choice?
4. What would make this moment gentler?

Sometimes what you’re protecting is your child’s nervous system.

Sometimes it’s trust, safety, or your relationship.

Sometimes it’s your own capacity.

Those are not small things.

You are not failing when you refuse a false choice.

You are allowed to make decisions that don’t fit neatly into someone else’s framework.

And you’re allowed to decide differently at different times—without having to justify that change.

In the next episode, we’ll talk about the cost that doesn’t show up until later:

The meltdown after the activity, the next-day exhaustion, and the impacts that don’t fit neatly into reports or data.

Thank you for being here.

This has been Decision Pause—and we’ll pause again next time.