Your 20s are basically one ongoing identity crisis — dating feels confusing, friendships feel different than they used to, and everyone seems to be overwhelmed, healing, or “protecting their peace.” In this episode, Amelia and Lilly talk about one of the most underrated parts of dating in your 20s: the people around you matter just as much as the person you’re dating.

This is a conversation about friendship, emotional labor, reciprocity, and what it actually means to build a village — not just want one. Because the truth is, friendships in your 20s don’t happen by accident. They take intention, vulnerability, and a willingness to show up even on the days you’d rather hide under a blanket.

If dating is about who you’re becoming, then friendship is the support system that gets you there.

Takeaways

• Why friendships feel harder to maintain in your 20s
• The pressure to “protect your peace” and how it impacts connection
• Emotional labor as an investment, not a burden
• Reciprocity vs. scorekeeping
• Why crisis moments don’t build friendship — consistency does
• Losing friends, outgrowing friends, and navigating changing dynamics
• Being a “villager”: how to actually show up for your people
• The small, mundane moments that make friendships feel safe
• Understanding when someone can’t show up (and when it’s a pattern)

Related Episodes:

• Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing?
• Looking Back, Moving Forward: How Our Podcast Changed Our Relationships With Oren Matteson

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We’d love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It’s a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | LinkedIn

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In today’s dating culture, where everyone is either soft launching, situationshipping, or pretending they don’t care…it almost feels controversial to say you have a boyfriend. Thanks to a recent Vogue article making its rounds, Amelia and Lilly dive into the very real (and very funny) question:

Is having a boyfriend… embarrassing now?

This episode unpacks the weird social pressure young women feel in their 20s: wanting connection, craving independence, and also low-key worrying that posting your boyfriend will ruin your mysterious internet aura.

The hosts break down the cultural shift they’re seeing everywhere: independence is trending, relationships are treated like an aesthetic choice, and the internet has definitely influenced how we feel about commitment.

The Real Takeaway

This Vogue debate isn’t really about boyfriends — it’s about how much pressure we put on ourselves in our 20s to look a certain way, date a certain way, or be single a certain way. The goal?

Do whatever feels right for your life, not your feed.

Takeaways

• Relationship culture has changed — independence is trendy, and commitment gets weirdly judged.
• Social media shapes how we think our love lives “should” look.
• Whether you’re single, cuffed, or somewhere in-between, your identity doesn’t disappear.
• Being in a relationship isn’t embarrassing — pretending you don’t want connection might be.

Related Episodes:

• Ghosts of Boyfriends Past
• The Crash-out Episode

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We’d love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It’s a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | LinkedIn

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In this episode, Amelia and Lilly dive into the idea of personal growth through relationships—how every connection, whether positive or painful, can become a mirror for self-development. Lilly shares her reflections on learning to recognize and celebrate growth, emphasizing the importance of honoring both the messy and meaningful parts of the journey. Together, they unpack how relationships shape who we become and why self-celebration is an essential, often overlooked, part of healing and growth.

Takeaways

• Even negative experiences can spark growth.
• Positive relationships also teach us valuable lessons.
• Celebrating your own growth is essential to healing.
• Growth isn’t linear—it’s circular, layered, and evolving.
• Recognizing growth moments fosters self-pride and self-awareness.
• Relationships reflect our patterns, progress, and potential.
• Growth means honoring both challenges and achievements.

Related Episodes:

• The Ten Commandments
• Why You Ghost, Cling, or Chase: Attachment Styles with Hilary Rosenberg

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | LinkedIn

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com