Hey parents, have you ever watched your daughter tie herself in knots in order to clear up a misunderstanding or fix messy friend drama?

Maybe she’s bending over backwards to repair a friendship that’s gone sideways, rewriting her texts a dozen times before hitting send – or the one thing I hear often – taking the blame for something she didn’t do just to restore a sense of peace and stability.

Even though her attempts to control the situation may feel proactive, that approach is likely keeping your daughter in fight or flight mode.

We’re going to change that today by offering your daughter an approach that’ll bring her the peace and stability she needs – and deserves.

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast.
I’m your host, Shawna Warner, and it’s my mission to help you empower your teenage daughter with confidence, integrity, and resilience for all her adventures in life.

Today’s episode kicks off a new mini-series called “From Chaos to Clarity” based off the 5 Simple Steps from Chaos to Clarity that we introduced in the previous episode Ep – 47 How to Guide Your Daughter Through Misunderstandings and Messy Friend Drama.

We’re starting with Step One: Reflecting on what ways your teenage daughter might be trying to control the outcome.

For the complete show notes please visit cultivatingresilientteens.com

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey Parents,

Have you ever noticed how fast words like…

“Don’t ask - I can’t even right now”

tumble out of your teenage daughter’s mouth when she’s totally overwhelmed?

That’s exactly what happened at the start of a recent session. Before I even finished pouring my glass of water, the newly enrolled client blurted out, “No clue what just happened, but I’m in serious need of some tools at the moment!”

“Perfect,” I said. “That’s what we’re here for.”

And as she described her confusing and painful situation, the heart of the matter slowly revealed itself – something so many teen girls experience in one way or another.

Whether your daughter is part of a big friend group, a small circle, or floats between the two, I think she’ll relate to today’s topic.

Because when emotions are high and it’s not clear what to do next, your daughter needs something effective she can use in the moment.

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Cultivating Resilient podcast.

I’m your host, Shawna Warner, and it’s my mission to help you empower your teenage daughter with confidence, integrity, and resilience for all her adventures in life.

Today’s episode follows a What to Do When format because let’s be honest, when your daughter finds herself in the middle of a tricky social situation, you don’t need theory, you need tools.

So if your daughter feels like she’s ever been called out, misunderstood, or caught in the middle of something that feels totally out of her control, this episode is the guidance you’ve been searching for.

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Has your daughter ever experienced a memory from the past that’s so vivid she can recall it as if it happened yesterday? Maybe it’s a cringe-worthy moment she wishes she could erase or maybe it’s an incredible experience that redefined her.

Either way, THAT moment may be playing a crucial role in your daughter’s behavior, development, and relationships without her awareness.

I’ve certainly had my fair share of cringe-worthy and redefining moments and today we’re diving headfirst into one of them. But fear not, the more important part of this conversation is the powerful exercise your daughter is going to learn so she can honor all her experiences and use them to take inspired action towards measurable growth.

Hey parents,

I’m so happy to be with you all – from the US, to Canada, Europe, Asia, South America and Australia, thank you so much for being part of the Cultivating Resilient Teens community today as we talk about and unpack your daughter’s “stories.” And by stories I’m referring to your daughter’s interpretation of her past experiences and how she explains or describes them to you.

Stories

Maybe your daughter is long winded, and shares every single detail, or maybe she just throws out a few details on the fly. Either way, all your daughter’s adventures in life…the beautiful ones and the painful ones are ultimately filtered through her internal operating system, or personal decoding system, and then shared via her unique narrative.

But in this fast-paced, distraction-filled world it can be tough as parents to:

· Identify which details or events to pay attention to

· And how to remain a steady presence when your daughter’s dealing with an unsettling situation

So today I want to share with you the importance of listening deeply as your daughter’s story is unfolding…how your daughter refers to her role, or talks about herself, when she’s sharing her story with you.

The Heart of the Matter

Because this is where the real information lies, or what I call the the heart of the matter. By identifying the heart of the matter you’ll be able to quickly provide your daughter with what she really needs.

Please don’t let your daughter go through another day just zoning out, numbing out, or disconnecting from her unique gift because inspired action doesn’t happen by accident, nor does growth.

Resources

If you’re not sure where your daughter may need support right now now, please take the quick quiz Discover: Is Your Teen Daughter Resilient Enough for All of Life’s Adventures? so you can identify the heart of the matter and where to best support her.

Okay my friends, from near and far, until next time, here’s to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life’s adventures.

Links

Episode - 16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

Brene Brown Quote from The Gifts of Imperfection “Loving ourselves through the process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.”

Discover: Is Your Teen Daughter Resilient Enough for All of Life’s Adventures?

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!