What if repentance isn’t self-castigation but a rigorous renunciation of our violence? January Jaxon and Andrew McRae explore what becomes possible when we’re safe enough, loved enough, and honest enough to admit we’ve done harm. Repentance, they argue, is the lifelong vocation of unlearning our violent shortcuts to psychological & social stability so we can make peace contagious in the midst of a world at war.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode includes an extensive discussion of the suicide of Judas Iscariot. Please be gentle with yourself as you listen.

You’ll hear:

• How the Law, the Gospel, and the Reformation point to movements of God in Christian history
• Why violence isn’t just physical or emotional harm
• How living Jesus’ “narrow way” is like the TARDIS — bigger on the inside!
• Why loving Jesus means grieving (not blaming) Judas Iscariot

PLUS a Daily Examen practice for training your attention toward God’s presence, noticing when you’ve turned another person into an obstacle, and imagining a more loving response tomorrow.

Ideal for listeners interested in Girardian mimetic theory, Internal Family Systems as a spiritual practice, and the creative adventure of Christian discipleship.

Chapters:

• (00:00) - Introduction
• (01:08) - Content Warning
• (02:12) - Presentation: Repentance as Transformation
• (30:25) - Coke goes in, Coke comes out
• (36:35) - We categorically reject supercessionism
• (46:05) - The Passion is a revelation
• (55:49) - The wide way and the Tardis Way
• (01:02:35) - How are we defining violence?
• (01:11:00) - The violent deaths of Judas Iscariot
• (01:18:05) - The parable of the old and new wineskins
• (01:29:22) - "Either the new thing, or destruction."
• (01:36:28) - Judas' death is an indictment of culture, not an indictment of Judas
• (01:39:47) - Forgiveness is what divine justice looks like
• (01:43:53) - Friendship Mode and Enemy Mode
• (01:54:24) - Practicing a Daily Examen
• (02:14:29) - End Credits

Note: This podcast is a personal exploration of theology, creativity, and human experience. January Jaxon and Andrew McRae are not medical or mental health professionals, and nothing in this podcast should be understood as medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Our discussions are general and are not a substitute for personalized care. If you need medical or mental health support, we encourage you to seek care from a qualified professional.