Recent months had been wearing me down as I solo-parented, homeschooled our four kids, and kept up with the everyday life and needs of our home and family. Exhausted and bone weary, I headed out for vacation with my two oldest kids and my mom. I wanted a great vacation, filled with tasty BBQ and ice cream, sunshine, and a day at the beach full of rest and relaxation. Living in Wisconsin, we cherish our summers. We live for warm days where we can be outside, enjoying our beautiful state. The shores of Lake Michigan are full of prairie grass and dairy cows, calming waves, and clean beaches to be enjoyed. Upon arrival, we went directly to the bakery. My mom and I had been daydreaming over flaky, fruit-filled pastries. To our horror, as we walked into the shop, we were greeted with an empty pastry case. They were sold out. Dejected, I grabbed the last loaf of sourdough bread, paid, and left. Would this be how my whole vacation would go? We'd driven four hours, and all I wanted was a great getaway. The next day, we sat and contentedly munched sourdough fruit danishes. (This time we got up early to be sure they didn't sell out.) Checking the weather, we found rain headed our way. "My beach day," I cried inwardly. Consulting the radar, we assessed and made a plan. We could drive an hour in the rain, then get there, swim, and head back in the rain. I prayed we'd get our beach time even with the rain. I was desperate. Arriving at the small town on Lake Michigan, we looked at the sky. "Oh no! We have maybe 30 minutes," my mom reported. We were supposed to have a longer break in the rain, but the sky was darkening before us. We walked out to the old lighthouse, pausing to admire the view. The driftwood peppering the shorelines, the yellow sand, and deep blue waves rolling to their own beat. Yes, my heart needed the wide open spaces that came from being by the vast lake. Finding the swimming beach, we marched to the water. To our horror, we found gray sludge slopping up out of the waves. What!? Rain clouds came closer as we raced to the next beach. Drops started falling as we once again marched toward the water. My son barely reached the sludgy lake before the rain started falling harder and faster. Instead of taking a dip in the lake, he and my 64-year-old mother started running for the car. Defeated, I trailed after. Worst vacation ever. I texted my mother-in-law– "I need a vacation do-over." All I wanted was a great vacation, rest for my weary soul, and relaxation. What I'd gotten wasn't that at all. I drove us back to the house and went for a walk after the rain stopped, talking with God. The dark blue stormy sky is a vibrant backdrop to the cornfield and wildflowers in the ditches. As I walked and talked, I expressed my sadness about my horrible vacation. I pondered why, even though I saw the vast lake and had time relaxing, I still felt weary to my bones. I didn't get an immediate answer. I had to sit with it–my discontentment. During the long drive home, I continued to mull over thoughts. My realization came in the silence of sleeping kids and a phone-scrolling mom. My weariness wouldn't be fixed by a weekend away. It would be better if I habitually rested and sought God. My expectation was that a great summer vacation would fix the fatigue I'd been feeling; instead, I had disappointment and frustration. However, out of the experience, truth struck me. Yes, vacations are great, and time in God's creation is so beneficial, but it doesn't make up for the lack of physical or mental rest. More importantly, even a good vacation doesn't fill your soul the way that time with Jesus does. In Luke 5:16, Jesus shows us an example of going away from the crowds to spend time with his Father, God. The more I look at my summer routine, the more I recognize my lack of this personal time dwelling with Jesus. As you enter the summer months, I encourage you to plan times to rest your body and soul. Make time in your schedule to rest. You don't have to take a vacation or trip in order to make the downtime; simply plan for it. Be intentional with your Summer plans. Leave space for down days when you can relax. Enjoy quality time with others who encourage you to grow in your relationship with Christ. Gritty Faith Magazine is a beautiful, year-round magazine with wonderful articles for Christian women. You can get their free daily prayer emails or order a magazine here. For more writing, encouragement to rest, and running your business from a Christian perspective, follow me on Instagram.
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