Episode 81:Most people think relationship problems come down to communication. Dr. Bruce Chalmer says that’s the biggest misconception couples believe.

In this episode, Bo DePaoli sits down with Dr. Chalmer, a psychologist with over 30 years in private practice to break down what actually destroys relationships… and what keeps them alive.

Bruce explains why most couples can communicate just fine, they’re just communicating mistrust, resentment, and fear. The real issue isn’t communication skills. It’s the inability to tolerate the anxiety that comes with honesty.

This conversation goes deeper than surface-level marriage advice and gets into the real mechanics of long-term partnership: stability, intimacy, gender dynamics, infidelity, and what it actually takes to repair trust when things break.

Topics include:
• Why “we need better communication” is usually the wrong diagnosis
• The two forces every couple must balance: stability vs. intimacy
• Why intimacy requires tolerating anxiety instead of avoiding it
• The hidden reason couples fight about small things instead of the real issue
• Infidelity: why it happens, and what determines if a couple can recover
• Why hyper-egalitarian relationships often struggle sexually
• The fear behind why men resist therapy and how to approach it differently
• What maturity actually looks like after divorce

This episode isn’t comfort. It’s clarity.

If you care about building relationships that last and learning the emotional discipline required to stay connected under pressure, this conversation is required listening.

Guest: Dr. Bruce Chalmer
Website: brucechalmer.com