It’s Spooky Season at Coffee with Gays, and Blaine & Reed are joined by their friend Joseph Federico for a trip through the haunted heart of New Orleans.

From ghost stories and Marie Laveau’s voodoo legacy to psychic readings, vampire culture, and the queerness of Halloween itself, this episode celebrates the city’s mystical energy and the queer creativity that thrives in it.

Light a candle, sip your potion, and join the conversation — where ghosts, legends, and gays come together.

New episodes every Thursday | Follow @coffeewithgays

Support the show

Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉

🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials
🕺 Follow us on TikTok
🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
📸 Follow us on Instagram
🐦 Follow us on Twitter
🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts
❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio
🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed

We took Coffee with Gays on the road — and straight into controversy.

After one viral clip sparked hundreds of comments, Blaine and Reed sit down (in Reed’s car, of course) to unpack the debate: straight bachelorettes in gay bars, allyship vs. entitlement, and the ongoing evolution of LGBTQ+ community spaces.

From respectful allies to chaotic party crashers, from Pride parades to neighborhood gentrification, they explore how safe spaces have changed — and what it means to protect queer culture without gatekeeping.

Grab your coffee (or your road-trip snack) and buckle up — this one gets heated.

👉 Subscribe for more real conversations every Thursday
📲 Follow @coffeewithgays on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube
💬 Want to sound off? Email us: dotell@coffeewithgays.com

🧠 What You’ll Hear

• Reading hate comments and unpacking the viral clip
• The gay bar debate: inclusion vs. invasion
• How straight allies can show up respectfully
• Pride parades and the “family friendly” evolution
• Gentrification, capitalism, and the erosion of queer culture
• Why gatekeeping sometimes protects the community

💬 Key Takeaways

• Respecting LGBTQ+ spaces means understanding their history.
• Allies are welcome — but awareness matters more than attendance.
• Pride has shifted from protest to parade, and that’s complicated.
• “Safe space” doesn’t mean everyone gets to make it about them.
• Conversations like these are how we keep queer culture alive.

⏱️ Chapters

00:00 — Context: Why the clip blew up
01:46 — Gay bars & straight patrons
07:55 — Reading the hate comments
14:21 — The role of bars in queer community life
20:10 — Gentrification & commercialization
21:51 — Invasion or inclusion?
24:09 — Straight allies in queer spaces
28:02 — Pride parades: family-friendly or off-mission?
33:33 — Integration vs. exclusion

🔊 Sound Bites

“You can’t equate this to a straight bar.”
“Pride parades have to be family friendly?”
“Be an ally, not the main character.”
“Straight people have destroyed Pride.”
“Bring a gay friend. Read the room. Be cool.”

🧭 Why It Matters

Community spaces are built on trust, not trendiness.
This episode isn’t about exclusion — it’s about respect.
Allies are essential, but understanding the culture you’re stepping into is too.

Support the show

Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉

🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials
🕺 Follow us on TikTok
🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
📸 Follow us on Instagram
🐦 Follow us on Twitter
🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts
❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio
🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

🎙️ New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed
☕ A Coffee with Gays First-Ever Author Special

Yes, Blaine was starstruck. And yes, we left that in.

In our first-ever author interview, we welcome novelist Robert Raasch, whose debut novel The Summer Between takes us back to 1978 — before Grindr, before DEI, before the word “community” got co-opted into a rainbow ad. Set in a pre-AIDS Greenwich Village, the book follows Andy Pollock, a closeted high school senior who finds himself (and maybe love?) in the city for one life-altering summer.

What follows in this episode is part literary salon, part red-flag dating game, and part emotionally chaotic gay boy banter. Robert opens up about turning personal memory into fiction, how writing can be therapy (until it isn’t), and the process of shaping a story that feels both personal and universal. We talk about the women who shape gay men, the architecture of Chicago, and the fantasy of living in New York before anyone knew what “viral” meant.

This one is heartfelt, hilarious, and unexpectedly healing. Come for the book, stay for the banter.

✨ WHAT YOU’LL HEAR

• Why Robert set The Summer Between in 1978 NYC
• First love stories that still sting 40 years later
• How writing fiction can be the most honest thing you do
• 🚩 A savage round of Red Flag or Dealbreaker
• What makes a queer story matter in 2025

💬 KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Coming out is always messy, even in fiction
• Community used to mean showing up in person
• Some stories are too big for 280 characters
• Women allies are often the blueprint for gay survival
• A good book doesn’t end when it’s over

🔊 SOUND BITES

• “Tell your stories. Just write.”
• “This book felt like flipping through someone else’s memories.”
• “I ignored the red flag… and then made excuses.”
• “I wanted a book where the gay kid doesn’t die.”
• “Writing’s not always therapy. Sometimes it just rips you open.”

🕛 CHAPTERS
00:00 — Blaine’s Starstruck Intro & Robert’s Arrival
00:40 — Why 1978? Setting the Stage for The Summer Between
02:56 — NYC Before AIDS: Community, Danger, Freedom
04:18 — Building Andy Pollock: Authenticity & First-Love Feels
08:52 — The Women Who Saved Us — Female Influence in Queer Stories
10:35 — From Early Draft to Final Book (Writing Process)
16:15 — Family Dynamics & Coming-Out Shockwaves
19:46 — First-Love Lessons That Still Sting
22:22 — Open-Ended Endings & Sequel Tease
25:14 — Reader DM’s That Made Robert Cry
26:03 — Casting Dreams: Who Plays Andy on Netflix?
27:20 — Would TikTok Have Ru

Support the show

Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉

🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials
🕺 Follow us on TikTok
🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
📸 Follow us on Instagram
🐦 Follow us on Twitter
🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts
❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio
🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

🗓️ New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed

Blaine opens up about a relationship that nearly cost him his life.

What began with over-the-top romance — flowers, gifts (include a cadillac SUV), nonstop texts — quickly spiraled into control, isolation, and a trip to the emergency room.

In this deeply personal episode, we unpack how one partner’s “love bombing” turned into fear, gaslighting, and physical violence behind closed doors. Blaine and Reed speak candidly about LGBTQ+ domestic violence, sharing hard truths, a little dark humor, and a whole lot of heart.

Yes, the title leans into viral clickbait — but what’s inside is all too real.

This was a hard one to record. Blaine opens up about the night he feared for his life, the aftermath in the ER, and the comments that hurt most: “Well, it was your fault for staying.”

This episode sheds light on why so many victims can’t just leave, and why victim shaming is not just cruel — it’s dangerous. If you’ve ever felt stuck, scared, or ashamed, this one’s for you. You’re not crazy. You’re not alone.

🧠 What You’ll Hear

• When romantic gestures cross into emotional manipulation
• How love bombing creates trauma bonds
• Why Blaine didn’t leave — and why that question misses the point
• The aftermath: the ER visit, the shame spiral, the rebuilding
• What healing actually looks like (hint: it’s messy, but possible)

💬 Key Takeaways

• Love bombing is manipulation wrapped in flattery.
• LGBTQ+ people face equal or higher rates of domestic violence, yet often lack tailored resources.
• Leaving is not always safe — especially for queer victims.
• Shaming survivors only protects abusers.
• Telling your story can help someone else get out.

⏱️ Chapters

00:00 — Introduction & Setup (a “viral” title with a serious story)
01:45 — Love-Bombed: When the honeymoon phase feels like a dream
05:30 — Red Flags: Jealousy, isolation, and the slow creep of control
10:20 — Walking on Eggshells: Gaslighting and daily fear
15:45 — Breaking Point: The night everything turned violent
20:10 — Aftermath: Waking up in the ER and confronting the truth
24:00 — The Shame Spiral: “It was your fault for staying”
30:15 — Support Systems: Friends, therapy, and safe people 35:40 — The Healing Journey: From broken to rebuilding
40:00 — Speaking Out: Why Blaine’s finally telling this story
45:30 — Closing Thoughts: Hope for anyone who feels stuck

🔊 Sound Bites

• • "It felt like a fairy tale at first."
• • "By the time the first punch came, I already felt trapped."
• • “I said: Please don’t kill me. Thin

Support the show

Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉

🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials
🕺 Follow us on TikTok
🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
📸 Follow us on Instagram
🐦 Follow us on Twitter
🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts
❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio
🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

🎙️ Because of Them: Pride Then, Pride Now | Pride Finale

New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed

This episode is a love letter to the icons who made Pride possible—and a truth check on what it means today.

As Blaine and Reed wrap up the Because of Them arc, they sit down over coffee for a raw, reflective conversation about how far we’ve come as a community—and what still weighs on us. From the evolution of the Pride flag to the commercialization of queer joy, from honoring Bayard Rustin and Marsha P. Johnson to remembering the 49 lives lost at Pulse, this Pride finale blends history, heartbreak, and hope.

We talk about the joy and grief wrapped up in this month, the forgotten voices, and why it matters that we keep telling these stories—even when it’s hard.

🔍 What You’ll Hear

• Pride vs. Profit: How corporations reshaped Pride—and how we’re taking it back
• Pulse Nightclub Reflections: Reed’s personal connection to the tragedy, and the grief and grit that followed
• LGBTQ+ Icons & Unsung Heroes: From drag queens to quiet caregivers, the people who showed up before it was safe
• The Rainbow Flag’s Legacy: What Gilbert Baker’s original flag stood for—and why every stripe still matters
• Love Without Labels: A real convo on monogamy, open relationships, and why judgment has no place at Pride

⭐ Key Takeaways

• Pride started as protest—and it still is.
• Corporate sponsorship doesn’t make or break our movement.
• Remembering Pulse reminds us what’s at stake.
• Flags evolve—because our community does too.
• Monogamy, polyamory, and everything in between deserve respect.

⏱️ Chapter Breakdown

00:00 — Did That Gay Thing Happen? (game)
05:51 — Pride’s Shift in Tone
06:42 — Corporate Influence vs. Grassroots
14:27 — Reclaiming Pride for Community
17:30 — How Pride Celebrations Evolved
20:20 — Unsung Heroes of LGBTQ History
22:46 — Pulse Nightclub & Collective Grief
33:46 — The Rainbow Flag’s Story
42:37 — Legacy of LGBTQ Icons
44:59 — Drag Culture’s Impact
48:01 — More History Makers
50:12 — LGBTQ+ Representation Then & Now
55:21 — Monogamy vs. Open Love
1:00:36 — Why Community Still Matters

💬 Keep the Conversation Going

Who made your Pride possible?
📩 Email us at dotell@coffeewithgays.com
📲 Follow @coffeewithgays on every platform and @coffeewithgayspod on TikTok and share your story.

Because Pride didn’t start with us—and it sure as hell doesn’t end here.

Support the show

Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉

🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials
🕺 Follow us on TikTok
🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
📸 Follow us on Instagram
🐦 Follow us on Twitter
🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts
❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio
🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

Life After Coming Out at 60: Matt Starts Over (Part 2) – At 60, Matt’s life took a dramatic turn when he was outed, abruptly ending a 35-year marriage. In Part 2 of his story, Matt opens up about starting over as an openly gay man in Dallas – from finding love and community to rebuilding family relationships. This heartfelt conversation explores the challenges of dating later in life, learning self-acceptance, and the power of an affirming LGBTQ community.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Embracing your true identity after decades of secrecy
• Building a support network and community from scratch in a new city
• Navigating first dates, new friendships, and unexpected feelings of guilt at 60
• How chosen family and therapy helped Matt heal and find joy again

Why it matters: Not everyone gets to choose how – or when – they come out. Matt’s journey shows that it’s never too late to live authentically and find the community that will lift you up.

If you enjoy this episode, follow @CoffeewithGays for more true stories every Thursday. And if you missed Part 1 of Matt’s story, be sure to check out the previous episode! Feel free to share this story with a friend or leave us a rating/review to let us know what you think.

⏱️ Chapters
00:00 — Introduction & New Beginnings
02:50 — Life After Coming Out
05:31 — Finding an LGBTQ Community from Scratch
07:53 — Navigating Happiness and Guilt
10:36 — The Freedom of Being Out
13:17 — Relationships, Dating & Acceptance
16:24 — Ongoing Self-Discovery
19:05 — Observations on Community & Culture
28:26 — Starting Over Later in Life
30:57 — Exploring Sexuality & New Connections
36:18 — Building Friendships & Support Systems
39:28 — Belonging in a Traditionally Conservative Environment
45:04 — Sharing Stories & Personal Growth

Support the show

Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉

🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials
🕺 Follow us on TikTok
🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
📸 Follow us on Instagram
🐦 Follow us on Twitter
🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts
❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio
🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed

We’ve kept this conversation in the vault for nearly a year—because it’s that important.

After 35 years of marriage, Matt was outed overnight. Part 1 captures the immediate shock-wave: family fallout, buried trauma, and the first steps toward rebuilding a life that was never supposed to stay hidden.

This isn’t just a coming-out story. It’s about the cost of secrets, the long shadow of shame, and what it takes to start over with integrity.

🔍 What We Cover

• The split-second moment Matt’s secret became public
• Decades of secrecy and its impact on identity & relationships
• Therapy as a lifeline when truth finally surfaces
• Why support systems are critical when the closet door is ripped open

⭐ Key Takeaways

1. Coming out isn’t always a choice.
2. Secrets carry a heavy psychological price.
3. Family dynamics stay complicated long after the reveal.
4. Healing starts with truth, therapy, and community.

⏱️ Chapter Breakdown

00:00 — Introduction to the Journey
02:51 — The Unexpected Outing
05:49 — The Aftermath of Being Outed
08:58 — Family Dynamics and Reactions
11:59 — Navigating the Emotional Turmoil
15:04 — Confronting the Truth
18:02 — Seeking Help and Support
20:49 — The Impact of Trauma
24:03 — Understanding Identity and Acceptance
26:56 — Finding a Path Forward
33:10 — Rationalizing Identity and Behavior
36:09 — The Complexity of Coming Out
39:12 — The Burden of Secrets
41:36 — The Impact of Therapy on Self-Discovery
45:19 — Navigating Relationships Post-Come-Out
48:00 — Experiences in Treatment Facilities
53:30 — Reflections on Self-Entitlement and Guilt
56:39 — The Evolution of Connections in the LGBTQ+ Community
01:01:45 — Mental Health and Workplace Dynamics
01:03:35 — The Importance of Resources for the LGBTQ+ Community

🔊 Memorable Lines

• “I was ripped out of the closet.”
• “I didn’t want to hurt people.”
• “I was so f*cking entitled.”

🧭 Why It Matters

Not everyone gets to come out on their own terms. Matt’s story shows how heavy the closet can be—and how powerful truth becomes once spoken aloud.

🎧 Listen now, then queue Part 2 to hear how Matt starts over at 60.
💬 Tell us: Who made your Pride possible?
📲 Follow @coffeewithgays for clips, polls & more.

Support the show

Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉

🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials
🕺 Follow us on TikTok
🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
📸 Follow us on Instagram
🐦 Follow us on Twitter
🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts
❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio
🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/

New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed

This episode kicks off our Pride Month arc with a truth bomb:
Pride didn’t start with rainbow merch—it started with people who had to survive silence.

We’re bringing you the raw, redemptive story of Matt, a man outed after 35 years of marriage to a woman. His journey cracks open a larger conversation about how far we’ve come—and how far we still have to go.

We also dive into the hidden lives of queer Hollywood icons: Cary Grant, Rock Hudson, Katharine Hepburn—and the man who claimed to know all their secrets, Scotty Bowers.

🎥 Want more? We fully unpack the Scotty Bowers documentary, and you can stream it free on Tubi. It’s messy, revealing, and morally complicated—but worth watching if you care about how queer history has been told (and sold).

And yes—the pod is officially relaunching. New tone. New vibe. Still brunch-table realness.

⏱️ Chapter Breakdown:

00:00 — Welcome to Pride Month + Personal Reflections
01:13 — Matt’s Story: Outed After 35 Years
03:39 — Relaunching Coffee with Gays
04:42 — Old Hollywood and LGBTQ Representation
07:44 — Cary Grant & Randolph Scott’s Complex Relationship
10:46 — Scotty Bowers and the Secrets of Tinseltown
13:46 — The Moral Dilemma of Outing the Dead
16:45 — Rock Hudson, AIDS, and America’s Wake-Up Call
25:05 — Names, Identity, and Cultural Framing
27:00 — The Legacy of Rock Hudson and Representation
28:31 — Katharine Hepburn’s Queer Subtext
33:19 — Monogamy vs. Non-Monogamy in Today’s Gay World
40:32 — How Safe Are We Really?
45:09 — LGBTQ Activism: Then vs. Now
50:22 — Why Pride Still Matters

✨ In This Episode:

• The danger and dignity in Matt’s late-in-life coming out
• The moral mess of outing celebrities after death
• The dark underbelly of Old Hollywood’s golden age
• Scotty Bowers: whistleblower or opportunist?
• Pride vs. performance—where do we stand today?

🧠 Why It Matters:

Not every hero was a protester. Some were lovers who died without being seen. Some made art. Some just survived. And some—like Matt—are still figuring it out.

This episode is for them. And for everyone still walking the line between privacy and pride.

🎧 Listen if you’ve ever:

• Felt conflicted about visibility
• Wondered who really "made Pride possible"
• Wanted to scream during a bad Grindr date

📲 Follow @coffeewithgays, hit that subscribe button, and tell us in the comments:

Who made your Pride possible?

Let me know if you want this adapted for Buzzsprout preview text or shortened for

Support the show

Follow Us! The Hosts are on our linktr.ee 😉

🌐 Visit our Linktree For All the Socials
🕺 Follow us on TikTok
🎥 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
📸 Follow us on Instagram
🐦 Follow us on Twitter
🍏 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
🎵 Subscribe on Spotify Podcasts
❤️ Subscribe on iHeart Radio
🌍 Check Out Our Website: https://www.coffeewithgays.com/