Couverture de 🎙️ Before It Was Safe: The Lives That Made Pride Possible | Ep 20

🎙️ Before It Was Safe: The Lives That Made Pride Possible | Ep 20

🎙️ Before It Was Safe: The Lives That Made Pride Possible | Ep 20

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New episodes every Thursday | Hosted by Blaine & Reed

This episode kicks off our Pride Month arc with a truth bomb:
Pride didn’t start with rainbow merch—it started with people who had to survive silence.

We’re bringing you the raw, redemptive story of Matt, a man outed after 35 years of marriage to a woman. His journey cracks open a larger conversation about how far we’ve come—and how far we still have to go.

We also dive into the hidden lives of queer Hollywood icons: Cary Grant, Rock Hudson, Katharine Hepburn—and the man who claimed to know all their secrets, Scotty Bowers.

🎥 Want more? We fully unpack the Scotty Bowers documentary, and you can stream it free on Tubi. It’s messy, revealing, and morally complicated—but worth watching if you care about how queer history has been told (and sold).

And yes—the pod is officially relaunching. New tone. New vibe. Still brunch-table realness.

⏱️ Chapter Breakdown:

00:00 — Welcome to Pride Month + Personal Reflections
01:13 — Matt’s Story: Outed After 35 Years
03:39 — Relaunching Coffee with Gays
04:42 — Old Hollywood and LGBTQ Representation
07:44 — Cary Grant & Randolph Scott’s Complex Relationship
10:46 — Scotty Bowers and the Secrets of Tinseltown
13:46 — The Moral Dilemma of Outing the Dead
16:45 — Rock Hudson, AIDS, and America’s Wake-Up Call
25:05 — Names, Identity, and Cultural Framing
27:00 — The Legacy of Rock Hudson and Representation
28:31 — Katharine Hepburn’s Queer Subtext
33:19 — Monogamy vs. Non-Monogamy in Today’s Gay World
40:32 — How Safe Are We Really?
45:09 — LGBTQ Activism: Then vs. Now
50:22 — Why Pride Still Matters

✨ In This Episode:

  • The danger and dignity in Matt’s late-in-life coming out
  • The moral mess of outing celebrities after death
  • The dark underbelly of Old Hollywood’s golden age
  • Scotty Bowers: whistleblower or opportunist?
  • Pride vs. performance—where do we stand today?

🧠 Why It Matters:

Not every hero was a protester. Some were lovers who died without being seen. Some made art. Some just survived. And some—like Matt—are still figuring it out.

This episode is for them. And for everyone still walking the line between privacy and pride.

🎧 Listen if you’ve ever:

  • Felt conflicted about visibility
  • Wondered who really "made Pride possible"
  • Wanted to scream during a bad Grindr date

📲 Follow @coffeewithgays, hit that subscribe button, and tell us in the comments:


Who made your Pride possible?

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