The same conversation, again and again. The strange ideas. The day they don't know your face. Part two of our dementia special is about how you cope when a parent is becoming someone else — and how to look after yourself while you do.

JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community

In this episode:
The Conversation: Part two of our two-part dementia special. Geriatrician and regular Clubber Dr Stephanie Ward joins Sarah Macdonald for the harder half — how you cope when a parent is slipping into advanced dementia. The repeated questions, the strange and frightening ideas, therapeutic fibbing, aggression and your own safety, the grief of not being recognised, and why a held hand still counts even when they forget the visit.

This Week's Hack: Therapeutic fibbing. When a parent with dementia asks for someone who has died, the truth only makes them grieve afresh — and they will ask again minutes later. Meet the feeling, not the fact: comfort, reassurance, a held hand. "They're okay. They'll be here later."

Send this to: anyone caring for a parent with advancing dementia, or the sibling who can't quite face visiting.

A moment that stays: "They may not remember what made them feel good, but they can have a memory of feeling good." Your visit counts, even if they forget it.

Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.

Content note: this episode discusses advanced dementia, carer grief, changed and aggressive behaviour, and end-of-life themes.

Be gentle with yourself while you listen, and come back to it another time if today isn't the day. For information and support, Dementia Australia's National Dementia Helpline is on 1800 100 500 (dementia.org.au). For support as a carer — Carer Gateway 1800 422 737 (Mon–Fri, 8am–5pm).

Find Put The Kettle On – Vera's free guide to the five questions worth asking your mum or dad – at https://putthekettleon.com.au

This episode was supported by Australian Unity Home Health and Care. Visit https://australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.

This episode was supported by NSW Trustee and Guardian — wills, power of attorney and enduring guardianship, sorted properly, so the people you love aren't left guessing. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.

Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We all walk into a room and forget why we came in. So how do you tell ordinary forgetfulness from the early signs of something more? This week, in part one of our two-part dementia special, geriatrician Dr Stephanie Ward shows us what to actually look for.

JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community

In this episode:
The Conversation: Part one of a two-part dementia special. Geriatrician and regular Clubber Dr Stephanie Ward joins Sarah Macdonald to untangle normal ageing from dementia from delirium — the early signs that are more than forgetting, why around one in five people worried about their memory are dealing with something else, and what to do next.

This Week's Hack: A sudden change — confusion that comes on over days, not months — is often delirium, brought on by a urinary tract infection, another illness or a medication. Unlike dementia it can be reversed, so it is a reason to see a doctor soon, not to give up hope.

Send this to: anyone quietly worried about a parent's memory, or their own.

A moment that stays: I have "cured" dementia before, just by stopping one or two tablets. Sometimes what looks like 'dementia' is medication, an infection or low mood — and it is treatable.

Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.

Content note: this episode discusses dementia, memory loss and caring for an unwell parent. Be gentle with yourself while you listen, and come back to it another time if today isn't the day. For information and support, Dementia Australia's National Dementia Helpline is on 1800 100 500 (dementia.org.au). For support as a carer — Carer Gateway 1800 422 737 (Mon–Fri, 8am–5pm).

Find Put The Kettle On – Vera's free guide to the five questions worth asking your mum or dad – at https://putthekettleon.com.au

This episode was supported by Australian Unity Home Health and Care. Visit https://australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.

This episode was supported by NSW Trustee and Guardian — wills, power of attorney and enduring guardianship, sorted properly, so the people you love aren't left guessing. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.

Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald — Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader — Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer.
Audio + video edits by P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most of us have a conversation we keep avoiding – about ageing, about more help at home, about dying. In this week's episode, recorded live in Sydney, palliative care physician Dr Kathryn Mannix shows us how to have that tender conversation.

Recorded live at our Stay For Supper event, Sarah Macdonald sits down with Dr Kathryn Mannix — global campaigner, author of With the End in Mind and Listen, and palliative care physician — to discuss why these are tender conversations, not difficult ones, and how to start the ones we keep putting off with our ageing parents.

JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community

This Week's Hack: Take the armour off, hand the authority back to your parent ("Mum, can you help me think this through?"), and then be quiet — for longer than feels comfortable.

Send this to: anyone bracing for a hard conversation with a parent, or a sibling who isn't quite there yet.

A moment that stays: Kathryn's "travel" metaphor for the end of life — when a dying parent talks about catching a bus or finding their ticket, go with them.

Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.

Today's guest: Dr Kathryn Mannix: author of With the End in Mind and Listen: How to Find the Words for Tender Conversations. Free animated short, 'A Beginner's Guide to Dying', available at https://kathrynmannix.com.

Content note: this episode discusses ageing, serious illness, dying and grief. If you'd like to talk to someone — Lifeline 13 11 14; Griefline 1300 845 745; Carer Gateway 1800 422 737.

Find Put The Kettle On – Vera's free guide to the five questions worth asking your mum or dad – at https://putthekettleon.com.au

With huge thanks to Altina Drinks for generously sponsoring our Stay For Supper evening. Visit https://altinadrinks.com.

This episode was supported by Australian Unity Home Health and Care. Visit https://australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.

This episode was supported by NSW Trustee and Guardian — wills, power of attorney and enduring guardianship, sorted properly, so the people you love aren't left guessing. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.

Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald — Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader — Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer.
Audio + video edits by P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.