On this episode of Clemenz With a “Z,” I’m stepping outside my usual conversations about church and control and into something that’s been quietly sitting with me for years: the way we define success for our kids. Every June, neighborhoods fill with yard signs celebrating college commitments, and I can’t help but ask, where are the yard signs for future carpenters?

In this episode, I reflect on my own high school experience with “two tracks,” the subtle tone that labeled one path as less than, what I saw later as a teacher, and why all of this ultimately comes down to purpose.

Drawing on Viktor Frankl and even a surprising moment from Home Improvement, this conversation isn’t anti-college, it’s about dignity, meaning, and making room for every kind of intelligence. Because not every boy wants to build… but every boy deserves a world that believes he could.

If anything in this episode resonated with you and you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

In this episode of We Were In a Cult?, I sit down with Stef, a fellow “Kingdom kid” who grew up inside the ICOC to explore what it was like to be born into a system where church wasn’t just something you attended, but the entire framework for how you understood God, authority, obedience, and belonging.

This conversation isn’t about sensationalism or tearing people down. It’s about memory. It’s about untangling fear from faith. It’s about what happens when reverence and anxiety get braided together in childhood and what it takes, as adults, to slowly learn how to trust our own voices again.

Whether you were part of the ICOC, the ICC, another high-control church environment, or you’re simply curious about what that world felt like from the inside, this episode is an honest window into that experience.

If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or ICC and would like to share your story about life in and out of the church, I’d love to hear from you. Together, we can continue exploring the question, “We were in a cult?” and perhaps find some healing along the way. You can reach me via email at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com, or send me a DM on Instagram at the Clemenz With a Z podcast page.

If you want to support the podcast financially, you can head over to ClemenzWithAZ.com, there’s a merch store there with shirts, stickers, all kinds of stuff. You can also donate directly through the GoFundMe, the link’s in the show notes. Every bit goes a long way in helping me keep these conversations going.

And if you’re looking for something a little more regular, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Disillusioned & Deconstructing. That’s where I share short reflections, devotionals, and some extra behind-the-scenes thoughts that don’t always make it onto the podcast.

And of course, the best way you can support the show is by subscribing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Share it with a friend, post it on your socials, drop it in a group chat, it all helps more than you know.

This podcast keeps going because of listeners like you showing up, engaging, and passing it on. So thank you for being here, for listening, and for being part of this messy middle with me.

Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.

What does it mean to grow up inside something that calls itself the Kingdom of God? In this episode, I reflect on what it was like to be a “Kingdom kid” born into the International Churches of Christ, shaped by its language, boundaries, fears, and promises from my earliest memories.

This isn’t a takedown. It’s an honest look at safety, identity, fear of being “out,” and the long process of learning to trust myself again after realizing the place that formed me wasn’t what I thought it was. If you grew up in a high-control church environment or if you’ve ever had to untangle your identity from the system that raised you, this conversation is for you. We weren’t crazy. We were kids.

If something in this conversation resonated with you especially if you were part of the ICOC, or you were what we called a “Kingdom kid” I’d really love to hear from you. Tell me where you’re at. Tell me how you’re healing. Tell me what this journey has looked like for you. You can email me at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com, or send me a DM over on Instagram at @clemenzwithazpodcast.

And if you’d ever want to share your story more publicly maybe as part of the "We Were in a Cult?" series here on the podcast let’s talk. These stories matter. And I think there’s a lot of us still untangling what this all meant.

If you want to support the podcast financially, you can head over to ClemenzWithAZ.com, there’s a merch store there with shirts, stickers, all kinds of stuff. You can also donate directly through the GoFundMe, the link’s in the show notes. Every bit goes a long way in helping me keep these conversations going.

And if you’re looking for something a little more regular, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Disillusioned & Deconstructing. That’s where I share short reflections, devotionals, and some extra behind-the-scenes thoughts that don’t always make it onto the podcast.

And of course, the best way you can support the show is by subscribing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Share it with a friend, post it on your socials, drop it in a group chat, it all helps more than you know.

This podcast keeps going because of listeners like you showing up, engaging, and passing it on. So thank you for being here, for listening, and for being part of this messy middle with me.

We weren’t crazy. We were kids.

Until next time—take care of yourselves, and each other.

In this episode, I wrestle with a claim I’ve been seeing more and more in Christian spaces: that “gentle parenting” is not the same as “godly parenting” and that starting from empathy or believing kids are inherently good is somehow dangerous or unbiblical. Instead of turning this into another parenting culture war, I slow the conversation down. I explore what gentle parenting actually is, what people mean when they talk about godly or gospel-centered parenting, and why these two ideas keep getting pitted against each other.

Drawing from my own experience as a parent, a former teacher, and someone shaped by fear-based faith, I push back on the either/or mindset and make the case for a more honest, relational approach to raising kids, one rooted in love, empathy, consistency, boundaries, and the humility to admit we’re all still learning as we go.

If anything in this episode resonated with you and you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

What's up y'all!

In this episode, I explore the growing tendency within evangelical church culture to confuse critique with persecution and why that confusion can be so damaging. This conversation grew out of a recent church experience, a sermon that reframed fear as rebellion, and my own attempt to engage in private, thoughtful dialogue that never quite materialized. Drawing from personal experience, theology, and lived impact, I reflect on what happens when churches prioritize defensiveness over listening, certainty over curiosity, and ego over humility. This isn’t an attack on the church, but an honest examination of how faith communities can lose their capacity for dialogue, and why reclaiming that capacity matters for real healing, growth, and care.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

In this episode of Clemenz With a “Z,” I’m not talking about co-sleeping or parenting techniques as much as I’m talking about access: who gets it, when, and what we teach our kids about belonging long before they have words for it. Sparked by two very confident but completely opposite Christian takes on kids sleeping in the bed, this episode moves past certainty and into something more human: fear at 2 a.m., Hot Wheels offered as currency for closeness, the exhaustion of real parenting, and the quiet ways children learn whether love is conditional or not.

Hot Wheels at 2 A.M. is a reflection on presence before principle, discernment over formulas, and what it means to raise kids and build families without outsourcing our humanity.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

Lately, I’ve been struck by how many of our religious conversations seem to turn into debates that leave us more divided, more entrenched, and more certain, but not more understanding. In this episode, I explore the idea that the problem might not be our disagreements, but the questions we’ve been trained to ask in the first place. Looking at the way Jesus consistently redirected the conversations people wanted to have, this episode reflects on how faith has become more about camps and certainty than curiosity and connection and what might change if we learned to ask better questions instead.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.

We live in a world of constant noise and increasingly, our churches mirror it. In this episode, I reflect on what happens when worship never pauses, when silence feels unwelcome, and when space is something we’re quick to fill. This isn’t a critique of music or emotion, but an exploration of why silence matters, in church and in everyday life. Drawing on personal experience and a poem that helped name what I was feeling, Let It Breathe is an invitation to notice how much noise we carry, and to consider what might heal, clarify, and return to us if we made a little more room for space.

If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.

You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps.

And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed.

Thanks for being here.