In this week’s episode of the All About Marriage series, Larry sits down with therapist Teresa Haskins to have an honest and compassionate conversation about life after an affair. This is a tender and potentially challenging topic, and Teresa encourages listeners to care for themselves as they engage with it.

They explore the two primary types of affairs, emotional and physical. Emotional affairs often involve secrecy, deep emotional attachment, and misplaced vulnerability, even if there is no physical intimacy. Physical affairs can take many forms, from one-night encounters to workplace dynamics or patterns connected to addiction. In both cases, the betrayal and secrecy are often the most painful parts to heal from.

The conversation addresses what can lead to an affair, including unmet emotional needs, a desire for validation or excitement, poor communication, or personal struggles within the betrayer. Teresa emphasizes that infidelity is not always the result of something lacking in the marriage; sometimes it reflects unresolved issues within the individual.

Larry and Teresa also discuss how affairs are discovered. Confession offers the best opportunity for rebuilding trust, while being caught can compound the trauma. From there, healing begins with what Teresa calls the “atonement stage”—a season of humility, transparency, accountability, and patience. Rebuilding trust requires consistent openness and often takes one to two years, sometimes longer.

They highlight the importance of involving a trained third party early in the process to help both spouses navigate difficult conversations, avoid further harm, and move toward restoration in a healthy way.

Recommended resources from this episode include Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass and What Makes Love Last? by John Gottman.

If you or your spouse are navigating betrayal, you do not have to do it alone. Care to Change can provide the structure and support needed to begin healing and rebuilding trust.

In the second episode of the All About Marriage series, Larry Vinson and April Bordeau build on the foundation of healthy communication by addressing a topic every couple faces: conflict resolution.

April reframes conflict as an unavoidable part of being human and being in relationship. Rather than something to fear or avoid, conflict can either disconnect couples or draw them closer—there is no neutral outcome. This episode focuses on how couples can approach conflict intentionally so it becomes a pathway to connection, growth, and forward movement rather than division.

Three Foundational Steps to Conflict Resolution

April outlines three core steps that set the stage for healthy conflict resolution:

1. Check your intent. Enter the conversation with the shared goal that both partners walk away feeling like they’ve won and grown closer.
2. Have a heart talk. Clarify what the conflict means, how it feels, and what each person is hoping for before trying to solve the problem.
3. Invite God into the conversation. Pray together for unity, wisdom, and direction—not to “win,” but to move forward together with humility and purpose.

When couples begin conflict with these three steps, many secondary arguments lose their power and intensity.

Encouragement for Listeners

Conflict resolution is a skill that takes time, practice, and patience—especially when there is a long history attached to the issue. April reassures listeners that they do not need to navigate difficult conversations alone. With guidance and support, couples can move through even deeply tangled issues and come out stronger on the other side.

Resources & Support

Visit caretochange.org to explore marriage resources, podcasts, videos, and recommended readings. Couples who feel stuck or overwhelmed are encouraged to schedule counseling or marriage coaching with Care to Change. Even a few sessions can help couples gain clarity, connection, and forward momentum.

In the first episode of the All About Marriage series, Larry Vinson is joined by April Bordeau to explore one of the most essential foundations of a thriving marriage: healthy communication.

Before couples can effectively navigate conflict, heal after betrayal, or deepen intimacy, they must first learn how to communicate with emotional awareness, safety, and intention. April draws from both her clinical expertise and nearly three decades of marriage to offer practical, real-life tools couples can begin using immediately.

Core Truth About Marriage

Marriage is not sustained by intention alone—it requires ongoing effort and grace. April reframes long-term marriage as a continual process of growth and learning. As individuals and seasons of life change, communication must evolve as well. God’s grace, paired with intentional practice, allows couples to remain connected even when they stumble.

The 3 Foundational Principles of Healthy Communication

1. You are responsible for your own “yard.” Each spouse is responsible for their own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being.
2. You are not responsible for your spouse’s “yard.” You cannot control how your spouse shows up—but you can control how you do.
3. Spouses influence one another, but do not determine one another. Healthy communication invites influence without manipulation or control.

April emphasizes that oneness is not sameness. Two distinct people sharpen one another rather than merge into a single identity.

10 Practical Steps for Healthy Communication

1. Pause before responding to ensure you are responding intentionally rather than reacting emotionally.
2. Check your intent by asking why you are having the conversation and what you hope to accomplish.
3. Assume positive intent and remember that you and your spouse are on the same team.
4. Speak from your own experience using “I” statements instead of blame.
5. Listen to understand, not to win, recognizing that winning an argument can cost connection.
6. Reflect what you hear to validate your spouse before responding or problem-solving.
7. Name emotions clearly, going beyond basic emotions like mad, sad, or happy.
8. Stay present and on topic, avoiding “kitchen sink” fighting that derails conversations.
9. Repair after rupture by owning mistakes, apologizing, and returning to connection.
10. End with connection and next steps rather than walking away without closure.

These steps are not about perfection, but about increasing the likelihood of emotional safety, connection, and intimacy.

Encouragement for Listeners

A single podcast episode cannot undo years of communication patterns, but change is possible. With intentionality, support, and the right tools, marriages that once felt tense or disconnected can experience renewed closeness and hope.

“It’s not too late. Start today. Start small. Try one thing.”

Resources & Support

Visit caretochange.org and explore the Resources tab, including the Marriage section, for podcasts, books, and tools to support your relationship. Couples who need deeper support are encouraged to schedule counseling or marriage coaching with Care to Change.