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WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF ULTIMATE POWER. DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO COMPLETE OUR 70 SEMESTER TRAINING COURSE OF PUSHING OURSELVES TO OUR LIMITS? GOOD. GET YOUR CREDIT CARD READY, THEN, BECAUSE YOU'RE IN FOR A WORLD OF HURT. YOU. WILL. FEEL. PAIN. BUT PAIN IS JUST WEAKNESS LEAVING OUR PITIFUL BODIES. I HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR 6 YEARS AND NEITHER WILL YOU. YOU WILL CRY. YOU WILL THROW UP. WE WILL SPEND HOURS SCREAMING AT OURSELVES IN THE MIRROR.

IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT, YOU LITTLE BITCH, THEN LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST ABOUT POWER SOURCES FROM TWO SNOWFLAKES. YOU'LL LEARN ABOUT SITTING BACK AND BEING LAZY WHILE THE EARTH'S NATURAL RESOURCES PULL THEIR WEIGHT AND STEAL YOUR GIRLFRIEND. YOU DESERVE IT, YOU CUCK.

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Did you know each pixel in your monitor is run by a tiny little nanorobot? You didn't? Well now you know- Nah, I'm just messing with you. It's just a bunch of LEDs or something. The real good stuff is what it's powered by: The crushed souls of your future enemies. The brighter it is, the more enemies you defeat later in life.... Wow! You must have a lot of enemies! I'm betting you defeat them using Nanorobots. Therefore, it's practically a requirement that you listen to this full lesson on building and managing Nanorobots for the sake of your legacy.

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Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to work we go! With a-- [ROCKET EXPLOSION]

(The dwarves were never heard from again...)

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::BZZT/CRZZT/SHOCKNAWE::

This podcast has been zapped to your listening ears thanks to the power of teleportation. Actually, we haven't even begun recording this episode yet. We're sitting in our "studio", waiting for you to start so that we can instantaneously record for you live. Everything you're about to hear will be coming from our mouths the moment you hear it. Isn't that cool?!

Teleportation offers so many interesting capabilities.

(Our lawyers wanted to ensure that everyone knows we can't legally be held liable if people actually believe that's how teleportation works)

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Pow Pow! ::gun noiseeeees:: Boom! Pew Pew!

Sit back and listen to some patriotic music as we prepare to take you through some interesting histories and laws of guns from a know-nothing and a know-some-stuffer. Guns are a powerful tool for defense and entertainment, but come with a heavy burden of ensuring we all use them responsibly. So pay attention, and maybe you'll learn something - like we did!

Disclaimer: Before anyone gets mad at our OPINION, let us make clear we are supporters of the 2nd Amendment. But I think we can all agree that the 1st Amendment is even more important, right? They wouldn't have put it 1st in the rankings if it wasn't the best, soooo, keep that in mind. Let's hear it for the 1st Amendment! Hear Hear! Three Cheers for 1A! For he's a jolly good fellow...

We cool? We cool.

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Ever wanted to be as wise as Avery and Brandon?! Neither do the rest of us! But sometimes we're stuck listening to two idiots talk about philosophical positions on birds and worms. That's just how the world works now, OK?!

This is yet another episode where you won't be convinced that Brandon does NOT want to have sex with Billy Joel, and Avery's top discussion point is "Have curiosity, but don't die." We're talking classy conversation here, guys. So listen up, or else you might just end up like a curious cat...DEAD.

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I just asked a robot how his day was going, since mine was going splendidly, and that was his response! Isn't that cool?! It says "I'm also doing great, thanks for asking!"

That's the future of our wonderful AI world, and Avery and I are here to talk about it. Sci-fi has always taught us that robots need to behave like humans, but they need to look blocky, have stuttered movement, and bland, basic speech patterns. But does it always need to be like that? Let's find out!

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Join Brandon and Captain Obvery (of the USS Gary) on the adventure of a lifetime, as we go through the world of communications. We talk e-mail, texting, social media, virtual reality, and the possibilities of instantaneous communications. Come learn all about Avery's hatred of circle jerks - he prefers to jerk alone! We hope by the end of the podcast, you will be so intrigued, that you want to become our Quant Pals and/or Tang Buddies. If not, hopefully we can entice you NEXT season!