Where do you actually find other swingers? It's the number one question in our inbox, our DMs, and our confessional, so on this QUICKIE, Adam & Pris break down where the swinger lifestyle really lives: online, in person, and in places you might not expect. We draw on 15 years of ethical non-monogamy experience, wins and misfires included.

In this episode:

• How we got started: Adult FriendFinder, Swing Lifestyle, Kik chats, and the pre-app days
• Free vs. paid accounts on SDC, 3Fun, and FetLife, and which ones fit what you want
• Community vs. casual: why chasing friendships beat chasing sex for us
• The Facebook group method: going from public state groups to private local ones
• AI photos, catfishing, fake profiles, and why Pris verifies everybody
• Red flags: pushiness, one-word openers, and couples' profiles that only show one partner
• Swinger clubs, host couples, newbie nights, and low-pressure vanilla meet-and-greets
• Takeovers, lifestyle travel, cruises, workshops, Reddit, and Discord

Thanks to our sponsors and partners:

FirmTech: The Tech Ring tracks firmness and blood flow with real data in an app, and the Ring Mate attachment is all about your partner's pleasure. Use code BEYOMONO for 15% off: myfirmtech.com/adamalvarez

SDC: The lifestyle's biggest community, with profiles, verification, parties, and travel. Join with code 38236: sdc.com/?ref=38236

3Fun: Quick, on-the-go swiping for couples and singles. Use code TK11932: go3fun.co/ad/TK11932

SwingTap: Tap a ring, wallet, or QR code to share your whole lifestyle profile instantly: swingtap.fun/share/beyomono

Come hang out with us IRL:

Swinger 101 Workshop: November 15 at Forbidden Fruit in Austin, TX. $20 per person, with light refreshments.

Krazy Winter Nights, Kansas City: February 19–21, 2027. Use code BEYOMONO for a discount at krazykasbh.com

Full Swap Radio: Catch us streaming every Thursday at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central.

Join our community: Visit beyond-monogamy.com for merch, every episode, our blog, our 100% anonymous confessional, and the "Join Our Community" link to our Facebook group.

New here? Start with this Quickie Mashup! We took two of our favorite past QUICKIE episodes and put them back to back, so new listeners can catch up on the swinger lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy (ENM) talk you might have missed.

Quickie #1: The P-Spot Confessional. A listener writes in about prostate play and what it does for him, and it starts a very real conversation. Adam gets candid about an early experience that happened without consent, why toxic masculinity keeps men from talking about male pleasure, and whether he's ready to explore it with Pris. Then we share a practical starter guide: talk first, start slow, and use plenty of lube.

Quickie #2: Sluttiness. What actually makes someone a "slut"? We dig into where the word came from in the 1400s, the double standard between men and women, slut-shaming inside and outside the lifestyle, Adam's hotwife kink, Pris learning to date solo, and why sexual freedom is such a turn-on in an open relationship.

• Prostate play, the P-spot and male pleasure
• Consent, vulnerability and "finding your no"
• Toxic masculinity and the "I ain't gay" myth
• The history of the word slut and the double standard
• Alcohol, THC and lowered inhibitions
• Hotwife fantasies, solo dates and insecurity after 15 years in the lifestyle
• Slut-shaming in the swinger community

CONNECT WITH US

🌐 Website: beyond-monogamy.com. Full episodes, quickies, blog, merch and our guest lineup.

🤫 Anonymous Confessional: Got something on your mind about the lifestyle, ENM, kink or the show? Drop it 100% anonymously at beyond-monogamy.com. It might end up on a quickie!

📻 FullSwapRadio: Catch us on fullswapradio.com Thursdays at 2 PM and 7 PM Central.

UPCOMING EVENT

❄️ Krazy Winter Nights, Kansas City, Feb 19–21, 2027. Use code BEYOMONO for your discount at krazykasbh.com.

OUR SPONSORS (use our links, they support the show!)

💍 FirmTech: The Tech Ring and Ring Mate for firmness, blood flow and real data. Use code BEYOMONO for 15% off at firmtech.co

📲 SwingTap: One lifestyle profile, shared with a tap from a ring, bracelet or card. One-time fee, no subscription. swingtap.fun/share/beyomono

💋 SDC: The largest online community for open-minded adults. Sign up at sdc.com with code 38236

🧪 ProDX Health: We test, and they've got the hookup. Code BEYOMONO gets you 15% off at prodxhealth.com

The swinger lifestyle sells candlelight, lingerie, and flawless bodies. Then somebody's calf locks up mid-threesome. On this Quickie episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, the swinger podcast for ethical non-monogamy and open relationships, we tell on ourselves about the part of sex nobody puts in the highlight reel: the noises, the sweat, the cramps, and every moment your body decides to do its own thing in a room full of people.

Bodies are gross, add more bodies and you get more gross, and laughing it off might be the sexiest skill in the lifestyle.

In this episode:

• Why real full swaps and threesomes aren't Cinemax (sadly, no saxophone guy)
• Sweating in hot hotel rooms, and why towels and mini fans are lifestyle essentials
• Queefing: why it happens, the core and Kegel trick, and how a wedge pillow helps
• Guy stuff: gas anxiety, needing to pee mid-swap, and protecting the gems
• Growling stomachs, squeaky beds, slurping vs. gagging, and other sounds
• Bad breath, heavy breathing, squirting, and getting over the "ick"
• Leg cramps mid-play: hydrate, stretch, and work through it
• When it stops being funny: dizziness, chest pain, and knowing when to stop

📱 3Fun: the app for couples and singles who want to connect with like-minded people. Easy, low-pressure, and way less awkward. Use code TK11932: Download 3Fun here

💧 Sliquid: 15% OFF our go-to body-safe lube that actually feels good. Shop Sliquid here

📅 Swinger 101 Workshop: Sunday, Nov 15, Forbidden Fruit, Austin, TX. $20/person, light refreshments, real talk, and full access to us for all the questions you've been too nervous to ask.

📅 Krazy Winter Nights: Feb 19–21, 2027, Kansas City. Use code BEYOMONO at krazykasbh.com

📻 FullSwapRadio: catch us every Thursday at 2 PM and 7 PM Central at fullswapradio.com

📺 Beyond Monogamy LIVE: our FREE livestream, every Thursday at 7 PM Central at beyond-monogamy.com

🤫 Got a mortifying story? Drop your messiest bodily-embarrassment moments in our 100% anonymous confessional at beyond-monogamy.com. We read every single one, and yours might end up on a future show. Full episodes, quickies, blogs, and merch live there too.

Follow, subscribe, and leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, then send this episode to the friend who would absolutely die if this happened to them.