About Bernardo:

Bern Mendez is a neuroscience-based dating and relationship coach with 14 years of experience helping successful women thriving in midlife—but not yet in love—move past hidden emotional barriers into clear, committed relationships.

His practical method blends neuroscience, trauma-informed somatic work, polyvagal theory, and attachment research, helping women regulate their nervous systems, clarify what they genuinely want, and choose partners who can truly meet them there.

Bern’s YouTube channel has drawn over 30 million views and 227,000 subscribers, making it one of the top 12 dating advice channels for women worldwide. Featured by CNN, HuffPost, Redbook, Univision, and MindBodyGreen, Bern coaches women globally from his home base in Austin, Texas.

Summary:

In this episode of the Better Divorce Podcast, host Paulette Rigo and guest Bern Mendez explore the complexities of dating and relationships post-divorce. They discuss how personal experiences shape our understanding of love and attraction, the role of the nervous system in partner selection, and the importance of self-awareness and emotional health in creating sustainable relationships. Bern shares his journey from personal pain to helping others navigate their relationship challenges, emphasizing the need for intentionality in dating and the significance of understanding attachment styles. The conversation highlights practical strategies for rewiring attraction patterns and recognizing unhealthy relationship dynamics, ultimately encouraging listeners to seek help and embrace personal growth. In this conversation, Bern Mendez and Paulette Rigo explore the complexities of modern dating, emphasizing the psychological and emotional aspects of connection. They discuss the addictive nature of dating apps, the importance of authenticity, and the pressures women face in the dating landscape. The dialogue also touches on the hero's journey in relationships, the balance between passion and stability, and the significance of flirting and human connection. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to take their time in finding love and to set healthy boundaries in their dating lives.

Takeaways:

• The nervous system plays a crucial role in partner selection.
• Personal experiences, including loss, can drive one's purpose.
• Understanding attachment styles is vital for relationship success.
• Rewiring attraction patterns requires intentional effort.
• Breathing techniques can help regulate emotional responses.
• Recognizing unhealthy relationship dynamics is essential for healing.
• Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
• Relationships require ongoing learning and adaptation.
• Self-awareness is key to navigating post-divorce dating.
• Daily practices can facilitate personal growth and emotional health. The cycle of connection and addiction is real and affects dating.
• Modern dating can feel overwhelming due to societal pressures.
• Authenticity is crucial in finding the right partner.
• It's important to ask powerful questions early in dating.
• Healthy love should feel like a safe home, not chaos.
• Flirting is a lost art that needs to be revived.
• Dating can be a spiritual journey of self-discovery.
• Setting boundaries is essential for healthy relationships.
• Take the time to find the right person for you.
• You can absolutely get what you want in love if you learn the necessary skills.

Summary:

In this episode of the Better Divorce Podcast, host Paulette Rigo welcomes Kim Corven, a divorce expert from Canada. They discuss Kim's journey from a traditional litigator to a mediator and divorce coach, emphasizing the importance of empowering clients through education and innovative approaches to divorce. The conversation covers the emotional and financial impacts of divorce, the historical context of divorce law, and the significance of maintaining healthy relationships for the sake of children. Kim shares insights on how to approach difficult conversations about divorce and the resources available to support individuals navigating this challenging life transition.

Takeaways:

• Kim Corven emphasizes the importance of maintaining a good relationship between children and their parents during divorce.
• Divorce is often treated as a legal issue, but it fundamentally stems from emotional and relational dynamics.
• Education and empowerment are crucial for individuals facing divorce, helping them make informed decisions.
• The historical context of divorce law has shaped current practices, often leading to unnecessary conflict.
• Innovative approaches, such as rituals for divorce, can help individuals process their emotions and move forward.
• Mediation can be a more effective and less costly alternative to traditional litigation in divorce cases.
• Understanding the emotional toll of divorce is essential for both parents and children.
• The conversation around divorce needs to shift from adversarial to collaborative for better outcomes.
• Divorce is a common experience, and individuals should not feel isolated in their struggles.
• Resources and support systems are vital for those navigating the complexities of divorce.

About Zoey:

Zoey Charif isn’t just redefining how we think about love — she’s giving us a blueprint for it. As the author of Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated, Zoey spent nearly two decades decoding the patterns of human attraction, pulling from her background in criminology, data analytics, and a relentless drive to challenge everything we’ve been taught about relationships.

Born in Afghanistan, raised in Vancouver, Canada, and now based in Orange County, California, Zoey brings a rare blend of emotional depth, analytical precision, and lived experience to her work. Her framework isn’t just theoretical — it’s coachable, actionable, and designed to help people transform how they choose, build, and sustain relationships.

Her work is a wake-up call: love isn’t magic. It’s math, psychology, and emotional mastery.

Outside of the relationship space, Zoey is a powerhouse entrepreneur — the founder of Business Plans USA— helping startups and established businesses secure funding and scale with precision.

Whether she’s helping people find aligned love or aligned success, Zoey’s mission is the same: to turn hope into mastery and potential into reality.

Summary

In this episode of the Better Divorce Podcast, host Paulette Rigo speaks with Zoey, the author of 'Love Can In Fact Be Calculated.' They discuss the importance of understanding love through a new framework that includes the concept of a 'self score'—a numerical assessment of self-respect and self-love. The conversation explores how this framework can help individuals assess their relationships, choose the right partners, and avoid past mistakes. They emphasize the significance of purpose in life and relationships, and how self-awareness can lead to healthier connections. The episode concludes with resources for listeners seeking further guidance.

Takeaways:

• Understanding love requires a new framework.
• Self score is crucial for relationship sustainability.
• You can't love someone else unless you love yourself.
• Identifying core values is essential for relationship health.
• The perfect partner should be slightly above your self score.
• Low self scores can lead to toxic relationships.
• Purpose in life enhances relationship satisfaction.
• Self-awareness is key to making better relationship choices.
• Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in love.
• It's important to reassess relationships regularly.

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