Send us Fan Mail

A telegram at the door can split your life into “before” and “after.” Ellen M. Laura knows that moment intimately. At 19, she’s newly married, writing letters to her husband Brian in Vietnam, dreaming about California and a future that finally feels like it’s starting. Then Marine officers arrive with a priest, and she becomes a widow after only six weeks of marriage. The shock isn’t quiet or tidy, it’s rage, denial, numbness, and a body that can’t make sense of what’s happening.

Michael Liben and Ellen talk about what comes next when the world expects you to “be strong” while also having no idea what to say to you. We dig into grief literacy, the cruel comments people make when they’re uncomfortable, and the isolating feeling of being treated like a problem to manage instead of a person in pain. We also connect that early trauma to the way grief triggers work years later, especially when war returns to the headlines and your nervous system reacts before you can think.

Ellen shares the darkest part of her story, including a suicide attempt soon after Brian’s death, and the moment she decides she has to find a deeper path. From meditation and yoga to spiritual questioning and beliefs about life continuing, she explains what helped her move through anger and finally weave grief into her identity without being defined as a victim. We also talk about why she revisited and revised her memoir, Love In The Shadow Of Saigon, and how new conflict and propaganda pushed her to speak out again.

If you care about grief support, bereavement healing, trauma after sudden loss, widowhood at a young age, or the long arc of meaning-making, this conversation offers honesty and tools you can sit with. Subscribe to Bereaved But Still Me, share this with someone who needs a steady voice, and leave a review so more grieving people can find us.

Support the show

Links to “Bereaved But Still Me” Social Media and Podcast Pages:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me/id1333229173
Spreaker: https://www.spreaker.com/show/heart-to-heart-with-michael

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HugPodcastNetwork
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGPKwIU5M_YOxvtWepFR5Zw
Website: https://www.hug-podcastnetwork.com/

Become a Patron: https://www.hug-podcastnetwork.com/patreon.html

Send us Fan Mail

The weirdest part of grief is how quickly we start judging it. Too much crying means you’re “not coping.” Not enough crying means you “didn’t love them enough.” And if you laugh for a moment, it can feel like betrayal. We sit with all of that honestly and gently, and we name what so many people are afraid to say out loud: grief doesn’t follow a script, and trying to force it into one can make the pain sharper.

I’m joined by Jesse Rafeh, a licensed marriage and family therapist whose life has been shaped by profound loss, including multiple suicides in her family and the recent death of her father. Jesse brings a trauma-informed, emotional regulation focused approach to bereavement that makes room for the full spectrum of reactions, from being unable to get out of bed to functioning “too well” while quietly carrying the weight. We also talk about what it means to feel truly understood, why empathy changes the nervous system, and how rituals, presence, and permission can support long-term grief.

We get practical too: what to do when you feel stuck, how to tell the difference between your inner compass and your survival voice, and why the smallest tool can be the most powerful one, stopping to breathe and asking what you need right now. We also explore humor as release, not avoidance, and why moving forward is not moving away. If you’re searching for grief support, bereaved parent resources, or simple coping with loss practices you can use today, you’ll find real footing here.

If something resonates, share this with someone who needs it, subscribe so you don’t miss the next conversation, and leave a review to help more grieving people find support. What’s one thing you wish others understood about your grief?

Jesse’s website: https://live-better.me/

Jesse’s Instagram: @jesserafeh

Support the show

Links to “Bereaved But Still Me” Social Media and Podcast Pages:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me/id1333229173
Spreaker: https://www.spreaker.com/show/heart-to-heart-with-michael

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HugPodcastNetwork
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGPKwIU5M_YOxvtWepFR5Zw
Website: https://www.hug-podcastnetwork.com/

Become a Patron: https://www.hug-podcastnetwork.com/patreon.html

Send us Fan Mail

A studio can be more than a business. It can be your calendar, your friendships, your creative outlet, your sense of worth, and the place where you watch other people become themselves. When that disappears overnight, the grief is real, even if no one brings flowers or holds a service.

We sit down with Christina Vitovich, international speaker, producer, and founder of Women Getting Visible, to name a loss that often goes unseen: grieving the end of a livelihood and the identity wrapped around it. After spending more than 20 years building a thriving ballroom dance community, COVID forced a permanent closure, and the shock hit her nervous system hard. Christina talks honestly about insomnia, the hollow quiet of an empty room, and the strange pain of losing something that is not a person but still feels like family.

We also dig into what helps healing actually begin. Christina shares the ritual she created to say goodbye, why it took years to speak about dance again, and how acceptance grows when you stop treating an uncontrollable event like a personal failure. From there, the conversation turns practical and hopeful: transferable skills, finding your voice again, and building community without a brick-and-mortar space through podcasting, speaking, and women’s events around the world.

If you are facing career loss, business closure, identity shifts, or complicated grief, you will leave with language for what you feel and steps to keep moving forward without pretending it did not hurt. Subscribe, share this with someone rebuilding after a loss, and leave a review so more listeners can find support.

Support the show

Links to “Bereaved But Still Me” Social Media and Podcast Pages:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me/id1333229173
Spreaker: https://www.spreaker.com/show/heart-to-heart-with-michael

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HugPodcastNetwork
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGPKwIU5M_YOxvtWepFR5Zw
Website: https://www.hug-podcastnetwork.com/

Become a Patron: https://www.hug-podcastnetwork.com/patreon.html