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Authentically ADHD with Carmen

Authentically ADHD with Carmen

De : Where the chaos of ADHD meets self-acceptance growth and a whole lot of authenticity
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 Hi! I'm Carmen, a late-diagnosed ADHDer, ADHD life coach, and early childhood special education teacher who wants to spread awareness, relate to other ADHDers, and have fun while talking and learning about the difficulties, awesomeness, and new research behind the neurodiverse ADHD brain. ARE YOU READY?? Let's get started!

carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.comCarmen Irace Développement personnel Hygiène et vie saine Psychologie Psychologie et psychiatrie Réussite personnelle
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    • AuDHD and the Social Battery: Why You’re Still Exhausted After Rest

      AuDHD and the Social Battery: Why You’re Still Exhausted After Rest
      Jan 6 2026
      Show Notes:Hello and welcome to Authentically ADHD – I’m Carmen, and I’m so glad you’re tuning in. Today we’re exploring a topic I know many of us grapple with: why you’re still exhausted even after resting, especially when you’re both autistic and ADHD (often called AuDHD). If you’ve ever wondered, “I took a break, so why do I still feel drained?” this episode is for you.We often hear about the idea of a “social battery.” The classic metaphor goes like this: social time drains you, alone time or rest recharges you, then you’re good to go again. It’s a handy way to explain why you might feel wiped out after a party or a day of meetings – you used up your social battery and need some quiet time to recharge. For neurotypical folks or even just introverts, that simple formula sometimes works: hang out with people (battery drains), spend a night in (battery refills), and you’re refreshed.But if you’re neurodivergent – and especially if you’re AuDHD (autistic + ADHD) – you’ve probably noticed it’s not that simple. You might spend a weekend resting at home only to wake up on Monday still bone-tired. Or you take a day off to recharge, and by evening you’re more exhausted than before. What gives? In today’s episode, we’re going to answer that. We’ll talk about why the one-dimensional social battery metaphor doesn’t fully capture what’s happening in our brains and bodies. We’ll dive into the neuroscience behind exhaustion in autism and ADHD: it’s not just being “peopled out” – it’s also things like masking, sensory overload, executive function fatigue, chronic stress mode, and even missed signals from our own bodies.By understanding these factors, we can start to make sense of why just “resting” isn’t always enough for us. Importantly, we’ll discuss what real rest means for an AuDHD brain. I’ll share some strategies and tips on how to recharge the right way (because if your rest isn’t targeting the actual type of tired you are, it’s not going to truly restore you). And be sure to stick around till the end – I have 7 reflection questions for you. These will help you apply what we talk about to your own life, so you can figure out what drains your energy and how to refill your tank more effectively.So, grab a comfy seat, maybe a notebook, and let’s unpack why you’re still exhausted after rest – and what we can do about it.The Classic “Social Battery” Metaphor – And Its LimitsLet’s start with that “social battery” idea. It’s a popular way to describe energy levels, especially for introverts. The idea is pretty straightforward: social interaction uses energy, and solitude or downtime charges you back up. For example, if you spend all day socializing with coworkers or attending events, you might feel drained – your social battery is empty. Then you recharge by being alone, watching Netflix, reading, sleeping, what have you. The next day, your battery is full again (or at least partially recharged) and you repeat the cycle.This metaphor resonates because it acknowledges that socializing can be tiring, even if it’s fun. It’s commonly mentioned for conditions like ADHD or just shy/introverted personalities: “I need to recharge my social battery.” For neurotypical people, often a good night’s sleep or a quiet Sunday morning might indeed restore that sense of energy.But here’s the catch: the social battery model assumes only one dimension of fatigue – social energy in versus out. It treats all “rest” as equal, like plugging your phone into any charger will top it off. For those of us with ADHD, autism, or both (AuDHD), our experience tells a more complex story. We don’t just have a single battery that drains and refills; we have an entire panel of batteries or fuel tanks, each for different kinds of energy. Sometimes you’re not even sure which battery is low – you just know you’re running on fumes. And crucially, if you try to recharge in the wrong way, it’s like putting the wrong fuel in a car: you don’t get very far, and you might even stall out.Have you ever tried to rest – say you cleared your weekend to do nothing – and you did all the “right” restful things like sleeping in or binging a show, but you still felt wiped out on Monday? I’ve been there. Before I understood the multiple dimensions of burnout, I would get frustrated at myself: “I rested, why am I still tired? What’s wrong with me?” The social battery idea would have me believe that rest = recharge, so if I rested and I’m still tired, I must be doing something wrong. But the truth was, my rest wasn’t actually addressing the kind of exhaustion I had.The classic metaphor doesn’t account for things like:Mental overload – maybe your mind was exhausted from racing thoughts or decision-making, but your “rest” didn’t quiet your mind.Sensory overload – maybe your senses were still on high alert from...
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      47 min
    • Your Brain Isn’t Broken — It’s Patterned (Understanding the AuDHD Brain)

      Your Brain Isn’t Broken — It’s Patterned (Understanding the AuDHD Brain)
      Dec 27 2025
      If you’re AuDHD (autism + ADHD), life can feel like a constant contradiction: craving routine but rebelling against it, needing stimulation but getting overwhelmed, wanting connection but burning out socially. In this episode, Carmen breaks down what neurodivergence actually means (not a personality test), explains ADHD vs autism vs AuDHD, and gives practical, nervous-system-friendly strategies to build a life that fits your brain.Timestamped Chapters (approx)* 0:00 — Cold open: the AuDHD paradox in one breath* 1:30 — Neurodivergence: what it is (and what it isn’t) Autistic Self Advocacy Network+1* 6:00 — ADHD explained: executive function + attention regulation CDC+1* 9:30 — Brain networks + “default mode interference” (why focus leaks) PMC+1* 11:30 — Autism explained: social communication + restricted/repetitive patterns CDC+1* 13:30 — Sensory processing differences + prediction models PMC+2PMC+2* 15:00 — AuDHD: why it’s missed + DSM-5 history PMC+1* 18:00 — Co-occurrence and what it means (you’re not “rare” or “weird”) PMC+1* 23:00 — The AuDHD Paradox Show: real-life examples* 32:00 — Tools & strategies: rails not cages, rotation menus, sensory-first, scripts* 39:30 — Closing: your brain is patterned + gentle next stepsKey Takeaways* Neurodiversity = natural variation in brains; neurodivergent is a nonmedical identity term. Autistic Self Advocacy Network+1* ADHD centers on executive functioning and attention regulation, not intelligence or effort. CDC+1* Autism centers on social communication differences + restricted/repetitive patterns, often including sensory differences. CDC+1* AuDHD can look contradictory because traits can mask each other; dual diagnosis became formally allowable in DSM-5. PMC+1* Sustainable support = “rails not cages,” rotation menus, sensory regulation, and externalizing executive function.Resources Mentioned* CDC: ADHD diagnosis overview CDC* CDC: ASD clinical diagnostic criteria overview CDC* ASAN neurodiversity explanation Autistic Self Advocacy Network* AuDHD comorbidity review (open access) PMCPredictive processing + prediction differences in autism (review/empirical)PMC+1SCRIPT:Hey there! Welcome or welcome back to another episode of authentically ADHD. I am not going to lie, this year has been hard and im so glad if you have stuck along with me, because the rest of the school year is going to be even busier. So thank you for your patience, and grace as I work through this year and let out episodes when I can. I had some inspo for this one because of the new year coming up, and ive talked about this before but not so much in depth. As I go through this episode, i want to share that ive recently self diagnosed myself as AuDHD, a person who has both ADHD and Autism. What does that mean? Well, lets talk about it!Okay, quick check-in: have you ever felt like your brain is two different people sharing one body— one who’s like, “Please, for the love of God, routine. Predictability. Same mug. Same route. Same show on repeat.” and the other who’s like, “If I do the same thing twice I will evaporate into dust like a vampire in daylight.”If yes… hi. Welcome. You’re in the right place.Today’s episode is called: “Your Brain Isn’t Broken — It’s Patterned.” Because I need you to hear this like it’s a bass line in your chest:Your brain is not morally failing. Your brain is not lazy. Your brain is not “too much.”This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Your brain is patterned. And if you’re AuDHD—autism + ADHD—your pattern can feel like a paradox factory that runs 24/7 with no off switch and a slightly rude customer service department.So… let’s talk about what neurodivergence actually is, how ADHD and autism overlap, where they differ, and why AuDHD can feel like living inside a contradiction—and then I’m gonna give you real strategies that don’t feel like being yelled at by a productivity guru who thinks “just try harder” is a nervous system plan.[tiny pause]Are you ready? Let’s get started.Substack adOkay, tiny intermission—because if this podcast is helping your brain feel a little more understood, I want you to know there’s a whole extra layer of support waiting for you on my Substack.That’s where I publish Authentically ADHD, and you can usually get the podcast there first—but it’s not just a podcast drop. I’ve started writing blogs there too, which means you get deeper dives, the “ohhh THAT’S what’s happening in my brain” explanations, plus practical tools you can actually use when your executive function is doing that thing where it simply… leaves the chat.And here’s why I’m obsessed with it: Substack is neurodivergent-friendly by design. You can read posts when you want to skim, you can listen when reading is too much, and I include graphics most of the time because we ...
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      32 min
    • AuDHD and the Holidays: Navigating the Holiday Hustle and Overwhelm

      AuDHD and the Holidays: Navigating the Holiday Hustle and Overwhelm
      Nov 22 2025
      Hello and welcome to another episode of Authentically ADHD. I’m Carmen, and today we’re diving into how the holiday season feels through the eyes (and brain) of someone with AuDHD – that is, co-occurring autism and ADHD. For many of us, the holidays can feel less “holly jolly” and more like a perfect storm of stress. In this episode we’ll explore why the season can be extra hard, what it looks and feels like, and science-backed strategies to survive (and maybe even enjoy) the holidays. Whether you’re a newly diagnosed adult or a parent of a neurodivergent child, this one’s for you.What Is AuDHD? (Autism + ADHD)First, a quick science check. Autism and ADHD often go hand in hand. In fact, research suggests roughly 50–70% of autistic people also meet criteria for ADHD. Likewise, about two-thirds of people with ADHD have another condition like autism. In plain terms, having AuDHD means your brain experiences both sets of traits – the social-pragmatic and sensory sensitivities of autism and the attention-dopamine challenges of ADHD.This combination can feel like a constant tug-of-war in the mind. One part of you craves novelty and spontaneity (hello, ADHD!), while another part craves predictability and routine (hello, autism!). Imagine loving new experiences but also needing your favorite cookie recipe exactly the same every year. The result? It can be disorienting: you might feel like you “don’t fit” neatly into either camp. Some people with AuDHD describe it as an internal “tug-of-war” or seesaw: one side impulsive and messy, the other organized and anxious to plan.In practice, AuDHD often means compensating and crashing. For example, someone’s autism-driven focus might compensate for their ADHD-driven distractibility at work, or vice versa – ADHD-driven chaos can overwhelm autistic need-for-order, leaving them paralyzed by overwhelm. Dopamine is also at play: ADHD brains naturally crave dopamine and may impulsively seek novelty to get it. This can collide with autistic routines (which prefer sameness), causing even more internal conflict. All of this can be exhausting, but it also means AuDHD brains are vividly tuned in and often intensely creative. Think of it as life on high-intensity mode – colorful and chaotic, requiring constant balancing.Why the Holidays Are Extra ChallengingNow layer on the holidays, and the pressure cooker heats way up. Even neurotypical people report elevated stress: one survey found 62% of adults felt “very or somewhat” more stressed during the holidays than at other times of year. But for AuDHD brains, the holidays can amplify every stressor:Routines Disrupted: The holidays upend our anchors. School break means new daily rhythms, late nights, irregular meals – everything that might keep an autistic-AuDHD person grounded gets flipped. As one ND observer notes, “routines are often our anchor, and when they’re pulled away, it can leave us adrift”. Even small changes (late start on Monday, new host home, delayed bedtime) can throw our whole system off.Sensory Overload: Holiday sights, sounds, and smells come at you hard. Think bright lights, loud music, clanging dishes, lots of chatter, and maybe even firecrackers or poppers. These environments can push a neurodivergent nervous system into sensory overwhelm. In fact, decorations blaring carols while a dozen relatives talk at once – that’s the classic recipe for sensory overload. Neuroscience explains it as bombarding the five senses: your brain goes into fight-or-flight mode, and it can stay on high alert even after you’re home. One ADHD resource describes this: “the body’s nervous system shifts into ‘fight-or-flight’ mode… After the event, the body may remain on high alert, struggling to return to a relaxed baseline – leading to fatigue, overstimulation, and emotional shutdown.”. In short, holiday clamor can fry an AuDHD brain.Social and Family Dynamics: Holidays often mean forced proximity. You’re expected to play nice at a crowded party, join in traditions, maybe hug or kiss relatives, and make small talk. That’s a lot of unstructured social juggling. Neurodivergent people often need more downtime than society assumes, but the holidays cram intense social demands into the shortest days of winter. Feeling like you should be joyful and festive can clash with feeling drained, anxious, or withdrawn. This is the “disconnect between ‘should’ and ‘feel’” one psychologist talks about: everyone else is pretending joy, but you might feel agitated, melancholic, or exhausted instead. In fact, holiday stress can bring out “regressive” feelings: snapping at family, ruminating on past hurts, or longing for a perfect moment that never happens.Executive Overload: Then there’s all the planning and to-dos. Making a menu, shopping for gifts, wrapping, hosting – the holiday season can demand supercharged executive function. Neuroscience shows that high ...
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      32 min
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