What does it take to shift from goal-driven leadership to identity-led leadership? In this episode, we sit down with Bianca D’Alessio — star of HBO Max’s Selling the Hamptons, top-ranked real estate broker, and author of Mastering Intentions: 10 Practices to Amplify Power and Lead with Lasting Impact.

Bianca shares why ambition isn’t the enemy — misalignment is, and how setting intentions (not just goals) transforms your confidence, leadership style, relationships, and long-term success.

Timestamps

00:00 Intro: Goal-driven vs identity-led leadership
01:15 Why Bianca felt successful… but not aligned
03:10 The real shift: “Who am I becoming?”
05:00 Reframing failure into growth + resilience
06:20 Why Bianca seeks failure (and what it unlocks)
07:45 Perfectionism kills creativity + connection
08:30 Leading with vulnerability vs being “stoic”
09:20 How to know you’ve hit a growth ceiling
11:00 Work identity vs personal identity (and why it causes crisis)
12:10 “If you don’t want to be a people person… don’t be a manager.”
13:40 Mastering Intentions: transformation starts with self-awareness
15:40 Bianca’s family intervention moment (rock bottom clarity)
19:45 Teamship: why life and leadership aren’t solo sports
23:10 Stop trying to be liked by everyone — focus on respect
25:50 When inner circle resistance reveals your priorities
27:20 What misalignment feels like (the warning signs)
29:10 Bianca’s alignment reset: daily/weekly check-ins + giving yourself grace
30:20 Bianca’s #1 tip: write down your story + use it as your superpower
31:10 Where to find Bianca + closing remarks

Connect with Bianca D’Alessio

Website: biancadalessio.com
Book: Mastering Intentions: 10 Practices to Amplify Power and Lead with Lasting Impact (Available on Amazon)
Follow Bianca: LinkedIn, Instagram

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