ADHDtime on Air: ADHD and Emotional Labor: Sharing the Work at Home with Dr. Regina Lark

You can’t do it all. But how do you share work that nobody else seems to notice?

I’m joined by Dr. Regina Lark, professional organizer, women’s historian, and author, to explore emotional labor, ADHD, and the invisible work of managing a household. We discuss making that work visible, sharing responsibility, and letting go of the pressure to do everything perfectly.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The planning, anticipating, and remembering behind everyday chores.
• How executive function challenges can affect household management.
• Why taking ownership of a task means more than “helping.”
• Using lists and Fair Play cards to make invisible work visible.
• Radical delegation, outsourcing, and embracing “good enough.”
• Creating community support for solo parents and caregivers.
• How disorganization, shame, and perfectionism can add to the mental load.

Connect with Dr. Regina Lark

Website: reginalark.com
Professional organizing: A Clear Path

Books and resources mentioned

• Emotional Labor: Why Women’s Work Is Never Done and What to Do About It, second edition. - https://amzn.to/4djlFid
• Psychic Debris, Crowded Closets: The Relationship Between the Stuff in Your Head and What’s Under Your Bed, third edition. - https://amzn.to/4dEOMNh
• Fair Play and the Fair Play card deck by Eve Rodsky. - https://amzn.to/47Bw4lY

Connect with Daniella Karidi, PhD, CPC

ADHD & Executive Coach | Memory Researcher
Website: adhdtime.com
Email: dk@adhdtime.com
Podcast: ADHDtime on Air on YouTube
Instagram: @adhdtime

Takeaways

• Emotional labor is often invisible
• Household management requires cognitive skills Emotional labor is often invisible
• Community support eases responsibilities

If this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone you’d like to talk with about sharing the work at home. Subscribe for more conversations about ADHD, memory, and life’s transitions.

#ADHD #EmotionalLabor #MentalLoad #ExecutiveFunction #WomenWithADHD #Neurodiversity #ADHDtimeOnAir

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Emotional Labor
• 02:39 The Origins of Emotional Labor
• 06:49 Understanding Women's Work
• 09:40 Making Emotional Labor Visible
• 12:46 The Weight of Invisible Labor
• 16:36 Outsourcing Household Management
• 20:10 Reframing Household Responsibilities
• 23:32 Tools for Managing Emotional Labor
• 24:36 Navigating Family Responsibilities
• 27:42 The Role of Community in Parenting
• 30:35 Caring for Aging Parents
• 32:41 Understanding Emotional Labor
• 37:40 Preparing for the Future

What happens when ADHD, our relationship with our belongings, and aging intersect?

In this episode of ADHDtime on Air, I talk with Jami Shapiro, ADHD coach, Certified Senior Advisor, founder of Silver Linings Transitions, host of the Grandma Has ADHD podcast, and author of This Explains So Much: Understanding Undiagnosed ADHD.

Jami shares how she discovered her own ADHD after her child was evaluated, and how that diagnosis eventually changed the way she understood herself, her family, and her work.

We talk about why letting go can be particularly complicated with ADHD, from decision paralysis and “someday” thinking to memory, guilt, and emotional attachment. We also look beyond clutter to a bigger question: How do we create homes, systems, and plans that work for who we are now and for the people we will become?

• ami Shapiro's personal ADHD story
• The connection between ADHD and aging
• Strategies for organizing and downsizing with ADHD
• The importance of planning for the future with ADHD
• The relationship between ADHD and resilience
• How undiagnosed ADHD affects family dynamics
• The impact of clutter and memory on mental health
• The significance of communication and documentation in aging
• The role of self-compassion and forgiveness in ADHD management

Website: https://www.jamishapiro.me/
Podcast: *Grandma Has ADHD *https://grandmahasadhd.com/
Book: *This Explains So Much: Understanding Undiagnosed ADHD *https://amzn.to/3T7kR9p
Silver Linings Transitions: Senior and specialty move management and home organizing
National Association of Senior & Specialty Move Managers (NASMM): https://www.nasmm.org/

**Daniella Karidi, PhD, **ADHD & Executive Coach | Memory Researcher

Website: https://adhdtime.com
Podcast: https://adhdtimeonair.riverside.com/
Instagram: @adhdtime
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daniellakaridi

Interested in ADHD coaching? Schedule a free 30-minute introduction:
https://calendly.com/adhdtime/adhd-coaching-introduction-30-minute-free-clone-1

Chapters

01:54 Jami's personal journey with ADHD and family history

04:13 Discovering ADHD later in life and professional development

06:50 The connection between ADHD and health issues like fibromyalgia

09:54 Relationship with stuff and decision paralysis

12:51 Strategies for organizing and decluttering with ADHD

17:14 Memory, keepsakes, and the emotional aspect of possessions

21:58 ADHD and aging: myths, realities, and misconceptions

26:00 The importance of planning for aging and future self

29:50 Family dynamics, inheritance, and the importance of communication

34:03 Resilience, strengths, and embracing neurodivergence

38:14 Resources, organizations, and closing thoughts

#ADHDtimeOnAir #ADHDtime #ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDAging #LateDiagnosedADHD #ADHDCoaching #ExecutiveFunction #Clutter #Decluttering #Aging #LifeTransitions

Why are so many women with ADHD still overlooked, misunderstood, or diagnosed later in life?

In this episode of ADHDtime on Air, I speak with Dr. Kathleen Nadeau, an award-winning clinical psychologist, author, and longtime leader in the field of ADHD in girls and women.

Sound bites

"ADHD is very nuanced and complex"

"Untreated ADHD can seriously impact women’s health"

"Focus on quality of life, not just symptoms"

Dr. Nadeau explains why women’s ADHD is often hidden behind years of masking, overcompensating, apologizing, and working extraordinarily hard to meet expectations. We discuss why effective ADHD care must look beyond a list of symptoms and consider the whole person, including her environment, responsibilities, relationships, physical health, stress, and quality of life.

Our conversation explores:

• Why girls and women with ADHD continue to be missed
• The difference between being “bothersome” and being internally bothered
• How masking can conceal significant struggles
• Why treatment should focus on quality of life, not only symptom reduction
• Practical ways to simplify daily life and reduce unnecessary demands
• How a person’s environment can increase or reduce ADHD-related challenges
• The importance of movement, nature, connection, and community
• Why clinicians need more comprehensive training in ADHD across the lifespan
• The questions clinicians and coaches should ask to determine whether support is genuinely helping

We also discuss Dr. Nadeau’s new book, A Clinician’s Guide to ADHD in Women: Diagnosis and Treatment, written with Patricia Quinn, MD, and Michael Morse, MD. Although written for professionals, the book offers accessible and practical insights that women with ADHD may also find valuable.

Dr. Nadeau also introduces the Institute for Lifespan ADHD Training, or ILAT, which provides practical, evidence-based, case-focused education for clinicians working with people with ADHD across the lifespan.

Resources:

📘 A Clinician’s Guide to ADHD in Women: Diagnosis and Treatment
By Kathleen Nadeau, PhD, Patricia Quinn, MD, and Michael Morse, MD
Purchase the book: https://amzn.to/4hwoQ8D

Institute for Lifespan ADHD Training
https://ilat.org/

CONNECT WITH DANIELLA KARIDI, PhD

🌐 Website: https://www.adhdtime.com
📧 Email: dk@adhdtime.com
📸 Instagram: @adhdtime
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daniellakaridi

This conversation is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical or mental health care.

Chapters

• 00:00 Understanding ADHD in Women
• 03:25 The Need for a Clinician's Guide
• 04:01 The Impact of ADHD in Women
• 09:53 The Complexity of ADHD Treatment
• 13:39 Simplifying Life with ADHD
• 21:25 The Power of Connection and Community
• 23:28 The Importance of a Healthy Lifestyle
• 28:36 The Institute for Lifespan ADHD Training
• 33:37 Advice to Younger and

#ADHD #ADHDWomen #AdultADHD #ADHDDiagnosis #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity #ADHDtimeOnAir #ADHDBooks