I spent years saying yes when I meant no. Overextending myself. Resenting people for things I never told them bothered me.

That's not kindness. That's self-abandonment.

In this episode, we get real about boundaries. What they actually are (and what they're not), why they feel impossible to set, and how to communicate them clearly without drowning in guilt.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- What boundaries actually are: limits you set to protect your well-being, energy, time, or values

- The crucial difference between boundaries, walls, and demands (boundaries = what YOU will do, not what you demand others do)

- Why boundaries are about YOUR behavior, not controlling other people

- How to recognize the difference: "I won't engage when being yelled at" (boundary) vs. "Stop yelling" (demand)

- Why saying no feels selfish when you were taught your needs come second

- The cost of not setting boundaries: resentment, burnout, self-betrayal, inauthentic relationships

- Why boundaries don't make you difficult—they make you honest

- How to communicate boundaries clearly using direct language

- Examples of time, emotional, physical, material, and values boundaries

- What to do when people push back, guilt-trip, or test your boundaries

- The difference between someone who unintentionally crosses a boundary vs. someone who intentionally violates it

- How to enforce boundaries (what happens when boundaries are crossed)

- Why the people who truly value you will adjust when you set boundaries

- Real examples: morning/night unavailability, time limits on availability, no gossip engagement

- Personal stories about learning boundaries cost more than you could afford to give

This isn't about keeping people out or being difficult. It's about protecting what allows you to stay in—stay present, stay authentic, stay sustainable in your relationships.

If you've been saying yes when you mean no, overextending yourself, or feeling resentful in your relationships this episode will help you understand what boundaries are and how to start setting them.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Learning to set boundaries? Share your questions, stories, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit ALotToGrowThrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: ALotToGrowThrough.com

Business Inquires: contact@alottogrowthrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you understand boundaries, please leave a rating and review. It helps others struggling with boundaries find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This podcast discusses relationship patterns, people-pleasing, emotional exhaustion, and mental health topics. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

There was a period in my life when I felt like I was going through the motions. Not sad, not happy, not anxious—just flat. Like there was a wall between me and everything I was supposed to feel.

If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore emotional numbness; What it is, why your nervous system shuts down, the difference between numbness and depression, and how to come back to feeling without overwhelming yourself.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- What emotional numbness actually is (a form of dissociation and protection)

- How dissociation creates distance between you and overwhelming experience

- The spectrum of dissociation: mild (zoning out), moderate (numbness), severe (depersonalization/derealization)

- Why your nervous system learned to go offline when emotions felt too dangerous

- The difference between emotional numbness and clinical depression (they overlap but aren't the same)

- Why numbness isn't apathy—you do care, your system is protecting you from feeling

- The danger of staying numb long-term (what you lose when you can't feel)

- How to come back to feeling safely without flooding yourself:

1. Start with physical sensations (temperature, texture, movement)

2. Work with mild emotions first (not jumping straight to grief or rage)

3. Use grounding techniques to stay present

4. Practice titration (small doses of feeling, not all at once)

5. Get professional support when needed

- Why you can't selectively numb—when you shut down pain, you shut down everything

- The importance of pacing yourself when reconnecting with emotions

- Personal experiences with numbness and learning to feel again

This isn't about forcing yourself to feel or overwhelming your system. It's about understanding why you went numb and how to safely reconnect. Because you can't heal what you can't feel.

If you've ever felt absent from your own life, like you're watching from behind glass, or wondered why you feel nothing when you "should" feel something this episode will help you understand what's happening and how to move forward.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Experiencing emotional numbness? Share your questions, stories, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit alottogrowthrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: alottogrowthrough.com

Business Inquires: contact@alottogrowthrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you understand emotional numbness, please leave a rating and review. It helps others who are struggling with numbness find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This episode discusses dissociation, emotional numbness, trauma responses, depression, and mental health topics. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

WHY IT'S SO HARD: LEARNING TO ACTUALLY FEEL YOUR FEELINGS

Someone once told me to "just feel your feelings." And I remember thinking: I don't even know what that means.

If you've spent your whole life avoiding emotions, that advice is useless.

In this episode, we get real about why feeling your feelings is so hard, what happens when you avoid emotions for too long, and practical steps to start when you have no idea where to begin.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why most of us weren't taught how to feel our feelings (we learned to suppress, ignore, or perform them)

- How childhood emotional invalidation teaches you that your emotions are wrong

- The messages we received: "stop crying," "you're too sensitive," "calm down," "don't be dramatic"

- What emotional suppression costs you: physical health, authentic relationships, mental well being, decision-making clarity

- Why emotions are information, not problems (what each emotion is trying to tell you)

- The difference between feeling your feelings and drowning in them

- The "window of tolerance" concept and why you need to pace yourself

- 5 practical steps to start feeling your emotions:

1. Notice your body (where emotions show up physically)

2. Name the feeling (using tools like feelings wheels when you're stuck)

3. Allow it to be there (without fixing, numbing, or performing)

4. Get curious about what it's telling you

5. Get support (therapy, trusted people, communities)

- Personal experiences with learning to feel after years of suppression

- Why this is one of the most fundamental skills for healing

- How to start small when emotions feel overwhelming

This isn't about becoming more emotional or crying all the time. It's about learning to be with your emotions instead of running from them. Because you can't heal what you won't feel.

If you've been told to "feel your feelings" and had no idea how to actually do that, this episode gives you the practical framework to begin.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Learning to feel your feelings? Share your questions, stories, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit alottogrowthrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: alottogrowthrough.com

Business Inquires: contact@alottogrowthrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you understand how to start feeling your feelings, please leave a rating and review. It helps others who need this practical guidance find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This episode discusses emotional suppression, childhood invalidation, trauma responses, and mental health topics. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.