This particular podcast episode was recorded on May 2, 2020. We were two months into COVID and none of us knew what was going on. Tensions were high... on my end of things I was struggling with the new work-from-home workflow and I was making mistakes. I made a few mistakes and then one "big" mistake to where my superior and mentor got incredibly upset that I made a mistake to a client as big as McDonalds (one of the essential businesses.... or at least clients of ours that was still spending money). We didn't want them to not come to us because of a mistake because they were technically our "lifeline" so-to-speak.

Anywho, my very own mentor being upset with me... someone who knows me I thought so well, telling me, "you're not thinking" triggered me. At first this triggered me and made me upset (prior to recording the audio). So much so that I went to our CEO for help... but then I realized, after shaking the CEO's tree that I probably shouldn't have done that because he has bigger fish to fry than this... and then I thought about how our meeting might go and realized that he was going to ask me about the situation and what I had done to prevent it before it happened, or if I had any thoughts on how to fix it going forward... it was in this moment that I had the sudden realization that, while I consider my teacher/mentor an asshole for doing it in the way he did it (still even to this day he could have handled it better as a man twice my age an experience).... I did realize in the end that he was right, and that I wasn't thinking... except I was, I just realized that I was thinking incorrectly and/or not to the level I needed to be for work or for life.... and thus this voice diary was born.

I hope everyone can forgive past me, I have, and so has God and I'm definitely not the same person I was 6 years ago... (and at the time of COVID I consider myself being born a new person in my last apartment's basement [this recording was in my new apartment after the basement one]) but if anyone else still needs me to repent, please let me know and I will take care of it immediately.