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Episode 30: “If Only I Had…” — Living With the Loop of Regret (Part 2)

In Part 2 of our conversation on regret, Jamal and David move from awareness to release. Many widowers quietly believe that suffering proves love — that carrying guilt forever somehow honors their wife. But what if that belief is the very thing keeping you stuck? In this episode, we challenge the idea that love requires lifelong punishment and offer a different frame: love asks for remembrance, integrity, and living forward well — not endless self-inflicted pain.

We also share practical, grounded tools to interrupt the regret loop. Naming it out loud. Writing the letter you never got to finish. Separating what was truly in your control from what never was. And asking the anchoring question: If she could see me now, would she want me stuck here — or living? If Part 1 helped you recognize the loop, Part 2 helps you loosen it. You are not broken. You are grieving. And there is a difference.

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward. The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Thank you for your support!

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones

Executive Directors: Marlon Jackson & Ted Winners (Like A Gazelle Productions)
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

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