Come as You Are

Positive, Encouraging, Exciting

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

As a sex educator, I encounter many couples with mismatched libido and women who feel like they are "broken." This book taught me SOOO many new concepts I am eager to share! It is easy to understand, eye opening, based on science, and encouraging. ALL women should read it, and all men should, too! We need to come to a common understanding of how society skews male and female sexuality. We all have the same parts, they're just organized in different ways and women have to deal with so many challenges.

Who was your favorite character and why?

The author Emily reads the audio version and lends such a positive, upbeat attitude to the learning process. You can visualize the smile on her face as she shares insight. Very comforting and pleasant.

What does Emily Nagoski bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

I ended up buying a paperback version so I could mark it up - there were so many key points I wanted to remember. I kept rewinding and listening again. Invaluable info.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

If someone listens carefully to this book, it can change their life. It can help them accept who they are, which is key to being comfortable with your sexuality.

Any additional comments?

This book can change lives for the better. So sympathetic, helpful, comprehensive, positive. I'm so impressed with the information shared.

46 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Awesome book Very informative and enlightening

Full disclosure: I'm a guy...

That said; this book is great. It really helped me to understand and rethink how my partners mind and body may feel and react to stimuli... contrary to what I previously "assumed" or was fought.

thank you Emily Nagoski for putting this out there.

44 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Very Juvenile, Very Repetitive

Any additional comments?

I didn't find this book helpful at all, and I feel like it is aimed at adolescent or young girls who know nothing about sex. The author repeats herself constantly, and uses patronizing repetitive phrases such as "we all have the same parts" "the feels" "yummy and yucky" etc. She also uses childlike and juvenile metaphors over and over again, such as explaining sexuality as "a garden." She mentions how she teaches sex education to college students, and I feel like this whole book is meant for insecure teenage girls who don't know anything about sex or human anatomy. If you are looking for an advanced book that will actually go into science about sex, look elsewhere. If you want to be told over and over again that your body is beautiful and your "parts" are normal, than maybe this is for you. For me, it was extremely juvenile.

36 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

More interesting than I thought

Would you listen to Come as You Are again? Why?

Probably not all the way through (I bookmarked few spots thought); there were handful of very interesting concepts, which I have now absorbed.

Any additional comments?

As I started listening to this book I thought: "Oh, this is a book for women" (I'm male), but decided to continue listening, and I'm glad I did. Yes, it is primarily written for women, but there were several general concepts about human sexuality (which are also applicable to men) I was unaware of. And, being a straight guy, it was good to learn about some some central factors in female sexuality, too. :-) Arousal nonconcordance, the dual control model, the extent of the effect of the context, what Emily refers to as "the little monitors" (maybe not a scientific term?), and the criterion velocity were all partially or entirely new information to me. It's always interesting to learn how there are various systems in the human body that have been mapped out and understood to this extent. Yes, it was definitely worth a listen; I'd say this is one of those books that would make a big difference in many people's lives if everyone would read it at around the age of 20.

35 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Please stop what you are doing and read this book.

Every one should read this book. I know it is geared towards women, but really anyone who has a vulva or is interested in spending time with one should read it.

32 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Who is her audience? And HAES? Really?

The first half of the book is good, and there was plenty to take away from it. As other reviewers mentioned, the language she uses to describe human anatomy is a bit off-putting. It doesn't seem geared toward adult listeners, but also comes across as too patronizing for even teenagers. I'm a 30-something man reading this to try to get a better feel for what might and might not work to improve my sex life with my wife, and what I can bring to her. To that end, there were some points that were worth bringing to the table.

Unfortunately, the author completely lost me when she went into a little tangent about Healthy At Every Size (HAES) and her belief that you can be morbidly obese and still be perfectly healthy. She even shares a conversation she supposedly had with an unnamed cardiologist over dinner and how he completely backs up her theory that there's no evidence to suggest obesity has any negative effect on cardiac function.

Not only was it completely out of place for a book about female sexuality, but in my mind it seriously damaged her credibility as a scientist. It was a ham-fisted way to push some fringe ideology. I lost interest in the book quickly thereafter. If you subscribe to that particular belief, you'll probably enjoy this book on the whole. But disregarding decades of medical research to the contrary and trying to defend it with a (likely fake) conversation with a cardiologist is just slimy to me.

27 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

EVERY woman should read/listen to this book!

... and then share it with every other woman in her life. Emily takes science & makes it make sense in an articulate, compassionate, humorous way. I plan to get a hard copy & do lots & lots of highlights & notes. As a survivor of childhood incestuous sexual abuse I can recommend this book as a great way to start dispelling the myths & erroneous self-talk inherent to that history. I wish I'd had this book 30 years ago!!!

21 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

very educational!

As a man who has always been fascinated by the fairer sex, I absolutely loved this audio book. It's a treasure trove of information that I had never heard before, and how it's explained is easy to understand. The performance was very well done as well. 10/10 and I might just have to buy the hard copy as well

21 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

Amazing and transformative

As a sex therapist I think I know things about sex. This book taught me more than I thought possible. It makes research understandable. Read it!

18 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

BUY THIS BOOK!

Would you listen to Come as You Are again? Why?

YES! I finished it and the next day started at the beginning again.

Any additional comments?

I have read about six books on the topic of "sex self help" in the past several months and this one changed EVERYTHING! Emily is funny and smart and relatable and nonjudgmental. Her advice completely changed the way I think about my sexuality and may just end up saving my marriage. I am SO grateful. Buy this book! Buy it now!

14 personnes ont trouvé cela utile