If a guy says, “What do you do?” or “How’s your work?” or “What are you doing at this party?” the first thing that happens is a thought like, What’s the best answer? What will he like the most? What will turn him on the most?

That’s subconscious.

You don’t have to judge yourself for it.

Why judge it? But we do. We judge it, then try to shove it down.

It’s just your subconscious coming up and out of your mouth. That’s it.

Instead of judging it, just notice it. Love it.

Then give yourself a chance to ask: Why am I at this party?

Am I here to have a good time?

Or am I here to get someone to come home with me?

To find “my man”?

To survive by securing a relationship?

Am I drinking because I’m having fun — or am I self-medicating so I don’t have to hear my own subconscious?

Codependency came out of addiction work. Beneath addiction is pain — and beneath that is codependency. Even alcoholics discovered that understanding codependency was key to understanding why they drank in the first place. It’s the same with love addiction.

So if you’re at that party for a purpose — why?

This constant “purposeful” energy drives self-judgment and control.

And here’s the truth: men don’t respond well to controlling energy. If you want to stay in that masculine, controlling place, you can — you get to choose. But it won’t give you what you actually want.

If you’re tired of trying to say the right thing, do the right thing, be the right thing — and you’re ready to feel powerful instead of anxious, Siren Island is the space where you actually get to practice this.

Siren Island is here:

https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/

Love, Rori