Right, picture this. It’s 2:30am. I’ve been bounced off half of Sydney’s motorways on the way back from Albury-Wodonga, the NSW/VIC border, and I’m talking myself through a full-blown panic attack because, well, everyone else is asleep. Zzzz

Today started as a quick meet and greet and hit top gear — strapping freight, riding in an Kenworth and remembering why I love the transport industry so much. I’m trying to build something that brings trucking and mental health together… and for most of the day, I felt real purpose and inspired.

Then, I hit Sydney.

First, the M7 shuts. No biggie, I keep on truckin’.
Then, NorthConnex shuts. Just my luck.
Roadworks everywhere. Detours through the back roads of the big smoke. Sleep? Not likely tonight.

Now I’m picturing myself fronting up to an 8:30am meeting at the University, then a filmed interview I’ve been looking forward to all week, and an advisory group meeting (yep, big day) running on fumes — and the inner critic is LOUD. The anxiety is like THUNDER. Here comes the wave of dread. I just need to get back to Newcastle.

Perfection or nothing.
Don’t stumble.
You can’t afford it. The stakes are too high

So I go back to basics: name what I can see, breathe longer out than in, loosen the grip, label the task instead of the monster. The goal isn’t to get rid of fear at 3am — it’s to keep pointing northwards while it’s yelling at you.

By the time I get home, the panic’s still there… but it’s smaller. And it’s not driving anymore. Thank God, neither am I. Now to sleep, I’ve got a big day coming up!

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Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.