This episode of Traffic School immediately derailed into chaos the second Lieutenant Crain briefly popped his head in and vanished like a legal Batman, leaving Viktor and Logan to raw-dog traffic law armed with nothing but vibes, Suits episodes, and an aggressively caffeinated raw meat energy drink that should absolutely be classified as a controlled substance. Logan was ceremonially thrown into the fire to run the board and phones while Viktor spiraled between calling listeners cowards for not dialing in and hallucinating from meat soda overdoses. The phones eventually lit up with a rotating cast of local legends—Crazy Carl, Trouble Maker, BDT, Pete, Roy, Braxton, and various other cryptids—who brought questions ranging from actual traffic law to deeply unserious hypotheticals about paint thinner DUIs, California rolling stops, and sovereign citizen beatdowns. Somehow, through the madness, real education happened: Idaho’s 15-over passing law was explained, fog lines were emotionally unpacked, four-stack traffic signals were decoded, quotas were obliterated as a myth, and West Yellowstone was exposed as a federally sponsored trap for stoned tourists. The episode climaxed with multiple threats of snitching, allegations of tickle-based police brutality, Family Feud humble-bragging, lottery ticket beef, and Viktor accidentally marrying Ravonda on-air to protect shared finances. By the end, Logan survived, Crain remained legally calm, callers confessed their sins, and the listeners were once again reminded that Traffic School is the only place where raw meat, police procedure, and community beef collide at 8:45 a.m. on a Friday.