Fat Vampire

When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a 2,000-year-old vampire. And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's further bad luck that he wakes to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever created...doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.

Angels and demons, myths and legends. It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead - six months in which Reginald and his 2,000-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is deacon of the vampire nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him...or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths - and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires able to stop it.

Immortality has met its match. Ever since the ring of fire, the world's vampires have seen their mortality. They won’t live forever after all - not if the angels who created them decide to snuff them like candles. What do the angels want? What did their command to “restore balance” truly mean? For most, the angels’ decrees mean mass murder and mass turnings...but the humans aren’t sheep, and won’t just lie down and take it forever. As Deacon Maurice tries to maintain order with Reginald by his side, panic consumes the vampire nation.

Following Maurice's near-assassination and the overthrow of the American vampire council, Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki have fled to Luxembourg, where they've taken refuge under the protection of Karl Stromm and the EU Council. Things in America have continued towards chaos with no end in sight - until a coup shakes the world and a new American leader arrives with promises to restore order and derail the imminent human-vampire war.

The new vampire president and his psychotic right-hand man have been playing a dangerous game with the humans over the past six months. In the public eye, the two races appear to be at peace...but the situation below the surface is hot enough to boil. And while the untrusting humans mass their defenses, vampire armies have been building to match them - with plans to exterminate the planet's current inhabitants, saving only a handful of blood slaves.

Forty years have passed since the end of the vampire/human war. Vampires have taken over the planet and have settled in, making themselves comfortable in the infrastructure their predecessors built, with just a few adjustments to ensure a permanent night. Humans still exist, tightly controlled, because the alpha species needs to eat. But even after four decades of peace, Reginald can't shake his conviction that the war never really ended - that the archive he still holds in his blood warns of an ominous change on the horizon.