The Eejit Chronicles

A laugh-out-loud memoir for fans of Frank McCourt, Roddy Doyle’s The Commitments, Only Fools and Horses, and Billy Connolly. Fools and Horses my arse, my dad used to say…More like Eejits and Donkeys… and he wasn’t wrong. This isn’t Shakespeare… it’s a memoir of the daft schemes and everyday disasters that shaped my life. From chasing get-rich-quick ideas with my brother Danny to nights out that ended in pure chaos, nothing ever quite went to plan.

We thought importing smoking shelters from China (just as the smoking ban came in) would make us millionaires. Instead, it gave us stories you couldn’t make up. Inside you’ll find Sunday league football mishaps, road-rage revenge, a ghost in a pork-pie factory, and even an Italian ice-cream man living in our broom cupboard with a very questionable use for breath freshener. It’s daft. It’s true… it proves ordinary life can be funnier than fiction.