Dan gets performative, Clara can't move her face, and OH NO! I spilt matcha on my copy of The Bell Jar!

Dan has a triceratops chicken burger, Clara makes a coke float in the Lord's dining room, and and they very nearly, almost, kind of answer an actual question.

Dan is too woke for cover drives, Clara is underwater, and The Ashes might be less scary than Love Island. The gruesome twosome tackle geographical distance and (Clara's) terrible equipment to chat about some very rattled cricket.

Dan gets very worked up about 'being cool', Clara will have a bowl first, and the gruesome twosome debate whether Taylor Swift is Joe Root or Steve Smith.

So you think you know Clara? (bit weird that). Dan channels Paxman, Clara torments her Sims, and if you overlook the longest cold open in YOSN history you legitimately do get 15 uninterrupted minutes of how cricket might end up becoming your whole life. Sincerity is famously scary, so apologies for presenting you with actual human emotion.

Dan dreams about an IPL-pilled Matty Healy, Clara tries to beat the dictator allegations, and the cricket captaincy political compass is born. Yes, they talk about cricket this week. Seriously.

Dan's gammy feet, Clara's Australian Siri, and the ethics of Mankading a child. They said the glorious 8 minutes could not be topped, they said you can't burn your feet playing beach volleyball, they said you can't just name a goldfish "Goldie". They were wrong.

So it begins. Every podcast has to start somewhere, even the greatest (cricket) podcast in the world.

It's Dan. It's Clara. This is, You're On Screen Now