What's your golden calf? In this conversation, Dot and Cara dig into one of the most honest questions we can ask ourselves: have we quietly given something, or someone, the place that only God deserves? Drawing from Exodus 23, they walk through how to recognize an idol, why good things can end up in the wrong position, and what it really means to surrender something to God without the fear that He'll take it away. Pull up a chair, grab your Bible, and lean in with us.

Got a question about today’s episode or something else you’d like to hear us talk about on the show? Let us know!

Episode Recap

• Intro (00:00)
• Write this down: Exodus 23:23-25, God's warning to Israel about worshiping the gods of the land they were entering (00:00)
• How do we even know if something is an idol? Cara asks the question most of us have probably wrestled with at some point (00:04:52)
• Dot's working definition: an idol is something you love more than God, depend on more than God, or find your worth and value in more than God (00:08:15)
• Cara shares how she realized time was her idol — not something she trusted more than God, but something that had quietly become the controlling factor in her life (00:08:29)
• Good things can become idols; it's not always the thing itself but the position it's holding in your heart (00:10:56)
• Surrendering an idol doesn't mean God will take it away — His heart is that you'd let go so you can actually enjoy the gift He gave you (00:12:11)
• Most idols form in seasons of waiting, just like the golden calf — the Israelites got tired of waiting for Moses and fashioned something to fill the gap (00:17:30)
• "I will become what I worship" — what holds your full heart and attention is quietly shaping who you are (00:19:36)
• What to do: ask yourself if you're willing to let it go, bring it to God, repent, and surrender it — He is the only one who can actually bring real value and purpose to your life (00:27:55)

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Exodus 23:23-25 (NASB 1977) — "For My angel will go before you and bring you into the land of the Amorites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Canaanites, the Hivites and the Jebusites; and I will completely destroy them. You shall not worship their gods, nor serve them, nor do according to their deeds; but you shall utterly overthrow them, and break their sacred pillars in pieces. But you shall serve the LORD your God, and He will bless your bread and your water; and I will remove sickness from your midst."

Ever feel like collateral damage in someone else's bad decision? That's exactly where Dot and Cara picked up this week, continuing last week's conversation about counting the cost, but this time turning to what happens when someone else's choices end up costing you. They talk through the real difference between discernment and judgment, and why grace means giving someone what they don't deserve, even when their decisions land hard on the people who love them. Pull up a chair, grab your Bible, and lean in with us.

Got a question about today’s episode or something else you’d like to hear us talk about on the show? Let us know!

Episode Recap

• Intro (00:00)
• Write this down: 1 Corinthians 10:12-13, the promise that God won't let you be tempted beyond what you can bear (00:00)
• Picking up where last week left off, but this time it's not our choices costing us, it's everyone else's (00:34)
• Cara names a feeling so many of us carry: being collateral damage in someone else's decisions (01:29)
• "Take heed lest he fall" isn't a warning about other people, it's a check on our own pride (05:01)
• Why it's not our job to decide what someone else's walk with God should look like, since there's only one Holy Spirit, and we're not Him (10:43)
• The hardest part of loving someone: watching them choose a costly path, knowing you can't stop them, and learning to pray and let go instead of trying to control them (16:10)
• Why God lets us choose freely, even when it costs us, because love that's forced was never really love (18:03)
• A funny detour about Cara's dad Howard and his no frills theory on grace, then back to the harder question of sinning on purpose versus sinning without realizing it (19:00)
• Why it's not "if" someone else's choices will cost you, it's "when," and a story about Stephen that proves God is paying attention the whole time (22:13)

Are you interested in having Dot come and speak to your community? Email us at hello@dotbowen.com.

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1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (NKJV) — "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man, and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond that you may be able to endure it."

Every decision has a price tag, and most of us never stop to read it. In this episode, Dot and Cara sit with Luke 14 and get honest about the cost of following Jesus, the cost of our daily choices, and what we're quietly giving up when we say yes to the wrong things. From forgiving the unforgivable to waiting on a miracle you can't control, this conversation is for anyone who has ever felt the weight of a decision they couldn't quite make. Pull up a chair, grab your Bible, and lean in with us.

Got a question about today’s episode or something else you’d like to hear us talk about on the show? Let us know!

• Intro (00:00)
• Write this down: Luke 14:27-30, counting the cost of following Jesus (00:00)
• Cara introduces the theme: every decision carries a cost and a gain, and sometimes we only look at what we're losing (00:47)
• What does it actually cost to follow Jesus? Dot reflects on the moment she realized salvation was free but discipleship is not (01:40)
• Every decision costs something, even neutral ones, and the question is whether your yes is leading you toward what matters most (04:19)
• On forgiveness: it costs you something to withhold it, and it costs you something to give it. Which cost are you willing to carry? (07:50)
• Cara shares her word of the year, miracle, and what it means that the cost of the miracle she is waiting on is surrender (10:59)
• Dot on waiting: being still is one of the hardest and most costly things women are asked to do (12:07)
• Dr. Stanley's principle: "You reap what you sow, later than you sow, and more than you sow" (14:11)
• Dot gets practical: her daily practice of asking whether her yes is leading her toward what she loves most, and whether she could tell Jesus about it at the end of the day (21:49)
• Cara closes the loop: counting the cost is not about controlling outcomes. It is about being honest with yourself and with God about what each decision is actually taking from you (20:55)

Are you interested in having Dot come and speak to your community? Email us at hello@dotbowen.com.

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Luke 14:27-30 (ESV) — "Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.'"

There are two kinds of sorrow, and one of them is quietly leading you away from God. In this episode, Dot and Cara sit with 2 Corinthians 7 and get honest about broken hearts, the grief that draws you toward Jesus, and the grief that slowly pulls you away. They look at Peter, at Judas, and at what it actually means to bring your whole hurt to Him, even the parts you're afraid to say out loud. Pull up a chair, grab your Bible, and lean in with us.

Got a question about today’s episode or something else you’d like to hear us talk about on the show? Let us know!

• Intro (00:00)
• Write this down: 2 Corinthians 7:6-11, on godly sorrow, repentance, and the kind of grief that leads to life (00:00)
• Cara gets honest right out of the gate: her heart is actually hurting right now, and this conversation is not just theoretical for her (00:03:58)
• God does not send a to-do list for healing; He is a deeply personal God who knows your personality, the way you process pain, and exactly how to meet you (00:04:35)
• Paul describes two kinds of sorrow in his letter to the Corinthians, one that leads to repentance and life and one that leads to death, and he shows us what both looked like in the lives of Peter and Judas (00:06:30)
• How you respond to your pain matters as much as what caused it. Peter ran toward Jesus. Judas walked away. Which direction are you moving? (00:10:16)
• You cannot heal what is not revealed. Naming your hurt honestly before God, even the ugly and angry parts, is where healing can actually begin (00:14:24)
• Dot shares the story of Corrie ten Boom, who begged God not to send her to the concentration camp and came out the other side knowing exactly why He had (00:21:45)
• God cannot heal a heart He does not have. Surrender means handing all of it over, not just the parts you are comfortable giving (00:24:06)
• Closing invitation: wherever you are today, just start somewhere. "Jesus, here's my heart. Will you heal my heart?" (00:29:32)

Are you interested in having Dot come and speak to your community? Email us at hello@dotbowen.com.

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2 Corinthians 7:6-11 (NASB) — "But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted in you, as he reported to us your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced even more. For though I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it — though I did regret it, for I see that the letter caused you sorrow though only for a while. I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance. For you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, in order that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what eagerness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong. In everything you demonstrated yourself to be innocent in this matter."

How do you know if what you're hearing is actually from God? In this episode, Dot and Cara get honest about one of the most real questions a believer carries, and the answer keeps coming back to the same place: knowing His Word. Dot shares a story from her own marriage that makes the stakes of this unforgettable, and Cara opens up about a journaling practice that has been quietly changing the way she hears from God. Pull up a chair, grab your Bible, and lean in with us.

Got a question about today’s episode or something else you’d like to hear us talk about on the show? Let us know!

• Intro — Dot opens by calling everyone to grab their Bible, a pencil, and a cup of coffee. This episode is as personal as it gets. (00:00)
• Write this down: Deuteronomy 6:6-9 — God's word belongs on your heart, your hands, and your doorpost (00:00)
• The whole idea behind "Write This Down": write it down so you can take it to God and ask Him directly whether it's true, not just hold onto someone else's good intentions (01:10)
• How do you know if what you're hearing is actually from God? The answer always comes back to knowing His Word and His heart, and Dot has a story from her marriage that makes the stakes of this impossible to forget (03:08)
• A well-meaning friend once told Dot that God would want her to leave Howard. Dot knew enough Scripture to know the difference between God's peace and her own unhappiness, and that knowledge changed everything (04:28)
• Write This Down from the Book of Job: his friends thought they were speaking for God, and at the end of the book God was angry at them for it. The responsibility of speaking for God is real, and it starts with knowing what He actually said (06:41)
• Cara opens up about what she's been walking through this year, and how journaling words she senses from God and then comparing them to Scripture has become a lifeline (09:03)
• Going back through journal entries from January, Cara finds God saying the same thing He said in April. Confirmation comes through consistency, and it's the kind of thing you can only catch when you write it down (13:01)
• Jesus said, "My sheep hear my voice." If you've ever wondered whether God really speaks to His people, He already answered that in John 10, and Dot breaks down why that's a firm place to stand (22:15)
• Where to start if you're new to Scripture: Dot always points people to the Book of John, because John's whole purpose is to prove that Jesus is God. Two verses and a willing heart is enough. (25:51)
• Dot closes with a look at her father's cross on the wall of her study and a truth that quietly settles everything: you cannot honestly say you've never been loved or never been chosen (30:43)

Are you interested in having Dot come and speak to your community? Email us at hello@dotbowen.com.

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What if worrying about the future is actually keeping you from experiencing God today? In this episode, Dot and Cara sit with Lamentations 3:22-23 and get honest about what it really means to trust that His mercies are new every morning. Dot talks about why living in the future, whether through anxiety or wishful thinking, can become a kind of hiding from today’s reality, and Cara opens up about a season of already grieving outcomes that haven’t happened yet. Pull up a chair, grab your Bible, and lean in with us.

Got a question about today’s episode or something else you’d like to hear us talk about on the show? Let us know!

Episode Recap

• Intro (00:27)
• Write this down: Lamentations 3:22-23, the steadfast love of the Lord and His mercies that are new every morning (00:00)
• Dot reflects on being someone who always thinks ahead, and shares what she sensed God saying in prayer: just live today, and those days will add up to the future you’re hoping for. (01:18)
• The manna illustration: when the Israelites stored up more than they needed for the day, it turned to worms. Dot says that’s what happens when we try to live in a day we haven’t lived yet. (03:01)
• Cara opens up about writing narratives, already emotionally grieving outcomes that haven’t happened, and why that kind of anticipatory grief is different from surrendering to God. (03:44)
• The control problem: we try to escape into the future because we can’t control it, but Dot points out we can’t control the present either. Sometimes the future becomes a way of hiding from today’s reality. (06:48)
• Cara shares what staying tethered looks like in a hard season: worship music on repeat, calling truth to mind, and finding small moments throughout the day to go before Jesus, even two minutes at lunch. (10:09)
• Hope belongs in God’s character, not in circumstances changing. Dot shares honestly about years she believed God didn’t want her to suffer, and what Scripture actually teaches about following Jesus into a hard life. (13:45)
• Dot talks about a hard season two and a half years ago when she walked through her days like a zombie, but kept showing up to pray every morning anyway. That habit, she says now, was her lifeline. (19:54)
• Prayer is a relationship, not a to-do. If you don’t want to go to God right now, start by asking Him to help you know He wants to be with you. (23:10)

Are you interested in having Dot come and speak to your community? Email us at hello@dotbowen.com.

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Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV) — “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

You had a plan. Maybe it was for the summer, maybe it was for your whole life -- and then reality showed up and none of it looked the way you thought. In this episode, Dot and Cara have an honest, tender conversation about what it means to surrender your expectations to a God who actually knows what He's doing. Cara shares from a raw and hard season she's walking through right now, and Dot reminds us that the same God who led you there will lead you through. Pull up a chair, grab your Bible, and lean in with us.

Got a question about today’s episode or something else you’d like to hear us talk about on the show? Let us know!

• Intro (00:00)
• Write this down: Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." (00:07)
• Cara shares that her whole world got turned upside down two days before recording, this episode is the verse she's living right now (04:57)
• The idea of detaching from outcomes, what it really means to surrender your plans without letting your mind race to the what-if (05:36)
• Dot walks through Palm Sunday and Good Friday: the crowd went from "Hosanna" to "Crucify him," but Jesus was still King either way (11:17)
• When you're following God and everything still falls apart, Cara gets honest about how painful it is to do everything right and still end up in the deepest hurt of your life (16:03)
• Dot: "The only person God ever forsook was Jesus, so that we never would be," a word for anyone who feels like they're on the cross right now (15:21)
• The same God who led you there will lead you through, just like He led the Israelites out of Egypt (19:25)
• Living with "what is" instead of "what if," why the what-if always comes packaged with anxiety, and how staying in today is the way through (22:00)
• Dot closes with a challenge: go before God, give Him your tears and your expectations, and let God be God (35:08)

Are you interested in having Dot come and speak to your community? Email us at hello@dotbowen.com.

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Proverbs 19:21 (ESV) – "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."

What does it look like to actually build your life on Jesus, not just hear about it? Dot and Cara wrap up the Sermon on the Mount with the parable of the wise and foolish builders, and this one lands close to home. The storm is coming either way. The question is whether you've been laying bricks before it gets here, or scrambling to build a foundation in the middle of the rain. Pull up a chair, grab your Bible, and lean in with us.

Got a question about today’s episode or something else you’d like to hear us talk about on the show? Let us know!

• Intro (00:00)
• Write this down: Matthew 7:24-27, the parable of the wise man and the foolish man (00:06)
• Real-life illustration: million-dollar Nantucket homes built knowing they'd fall into the ocean (01:46)
• Jesus isn't talking about literal houses, he's talking about your life and what you're building it on (03:04)
• "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" isn't quite right. He gives you more than you can handle so you rely on Him (04:08)
• The difference between hearing God's words and actually doing them, and why doing is what builds the foundation (06:29)
• Cara shares what it felt like during a Nashville ice storm, hearing trees fall all around her, and what that image shows us about focusing on the storm instead of the foundation (09:09)
• You don't build your house in a storm. You build it for the storm. And yet most of us wait for a crisis before we start (13:40)
• Don't put yourself on the front lines of the battle. Wisdom means knowing your weaknesses and not walking toward them (20:08)
• Building your house isn't all at once. God cleans out one thing at a time. Start with what's already on your heart and lay one brick (23:01)

Are you interested in having Dot come and speak to your community? Email us at hello@dotbowen.com.

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Resources Mentioned

• Pete Greig
• 24/7 Prayer