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You brace yourself for a casualty. You think you're ready. But nothing prepares you for the moment you walk into a morgue and see the face of someone you know. a brother in arms, someone you trained alongside, now gone.

In healthcare, we are taught to be strong. To put the mission first. But what happens when grief catches up to you, and you have nowhere to put it?

In this deeply personal episode, Fred opens up about his time as a Hospital Corpsman in Afghanistan and the specific day, August 11, 2011, that changed his understanding of loss forever.

We explore the concept of "Cumulative Grief," the danger of the "stay strong" culture, and the practical tools you can use to process the heavy weight of this profession without breaking under it.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The "Debt" of Grief: Why suppressing your emotions works in the short term but costs you everything in the long term.
• Survivor’s Guilt: How to distinguish between "I am responsible for the care" and "I am responsible for the outcome".
• The Power of "The Pause": A simple, 60-second ritual teams can use after a code to honor the life lost and reset before the next patient.
• How to Support a Teammate: Why saying "I'm here" is infinitely better than saying "Let me know if you need anything".

Dedicated in Memory of: HN Riley Gallinger-Long KIA Aug 11, 2011

Your grief is proof that you cared. And caring is what makes you a healer.

Mental Health Resources:

If you or a colleague are struggling, please reach out. You are not alone.

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or Text 988 (24/7, Free & Confidential)
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• HSE Mental Health Services: hse.ie/grief

Additional Reading:

• HSE Mental Health Services: hse.ie/grief
• Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation: ekrfoundation.org

Your grief is proof that you cared. And caring is what makes you a healer.

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