Why is thinking for yourself such a big deal in spiritual maturity?

This is Part 2 of our conversation on why churches sometimes create dependency instead of discernment, and what it actually looks like to grow up spiritually.

In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Martin Trench explore personal agency, inner conviction, and why real Christian maturity isn’t about following rigid rules or groupthink, but learning how to discern, decide, and live from the inside out.

We talk about why Jesus describes the path that leads to life as narrow — not because it’s restrictive, but because it’s custom-made for each person. Faith was never meant to be one-size-fits-all.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why churches often teach WHAT to think instead of HOW to think
• The role of personal conscience in Christian decision-making
• Why fear-based and shame-based teaching undermines spiritual maturity
• Inner conviction vs. external rules
• Becoming un-indoctrinated, living in freedom, and guarding your heart
• What it actually means to grow into spiritual adulthood

Drawing from scripture, lived experience, and wisdom from voices like Meister Eckhart, this episode invites you to stop outsourcing your discernment and begin trusting the relationship God has with you.

“To be born again is not to become a different person, but to become the person God always intended you to be.”

If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet, start here: Episode 12

This episode completes the conversation and points toward a healthier, more mature way forward.

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Watch today’s conversation on our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Here’s the spicy Facebook post that started this conversation.

Check out Martin’s Deconstruction → Reconstruction Challenge on Skool.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction

03:42 The Missing Adult Stage of Spiritual Growth

06:27 “Narrow Is the Path” — It’s Custom-Made

09:59 We’ve Designed Churches as One-Size-Fits-All

11:58 Groupthink and the Fear of Other Opinions

14:59 “The Way He Should Go” — Proverbs 22:6

18:50 Inner World Conviction Over Outer World Rules

21:18 Undoctrination, Fear, Rules, and Waking Up

30:43 This Is the Core Issue

31:46 Freedom, Discernment, and Living Your Own Life

33:16 Outtakes & Unhinged Moments

CONTENT WARNING: This episode includes brief references to marital abuse and potentially dangerous situations. Listener discretion is encouraged. Please seek support if any of this resonates with you or someone you love.

Watch today’s conversation on our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Here’s the spicy Facebook post Michele referenced at the beginning of this episode.

Check out Martin’s Deconstruction → Reconstruction Challenge on Skool.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Why do so many smart, capable, life-experienced adults feel unsure making basic decisions without checking with a pastor first — and what does the Bible actually say about that?

In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Martin Trench name and explore a rarely acknowledged reality in modern church culture: the ways church systems can unintentionally infantilize adults by discouraging independent thought, personal conviction, and spiritual maturity.

Together, they unpack how well-meaning leadership can slide into spiritual micromanagement, creating dependence rather than formation. The conversation touches on learned helplessness, pastoral overreach, and why reliance on permission often gets mistaken for devotion.

Grounded in Scripture, Michele and Martin point listeners back to Romans 14 and Colossians 2, which emphasize personal conscience, freedom from manmade rules, and a mature faith rooted in Christ rather than external control.

They explore questions such as:

• Does the New Testament actually support pastors managing people’s personal decisions?
• What role does community play versus pastoral counseling?
• What does it look like to grow into spiritual adulthood — a faith marked by maturity, agency, discernment, and trust in God rather than pastoral approval or permission?

This episode includes thoughtful, compassionate discussion around marriage, pastoral counseling, and the real-world dangers of oversimplified spiritual advice in complex situations.

This is not an anti-church or anti-pastor episode! It’s a pro-maturity, pro-freedom, pro-formation invitation.

If you’re ready for a faith that equips you rather than manages you, this episode is for you.

Follow Unhinged on your favorite podcast platform. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction!

02:13 Why Are Adults Treated Like Children in Church?

07:18 Spiritual Micromanagement & Learned Helplessness

15:48 Pastoral Counseling vs. Spiritual Community (“One Another”)

20:07 Marriage, Abuse, Divorce, & Honoring Human Agency

23:58 The Third Stage of Spiritual Growth: Adulthood

27:42 The Purpose of Church: Equip, Inform, Inspire

29:02 Final Thoughts, Resources, & Next Steps

30:45 Bloopers & Outtakes!

Check out our brand new Unhinged YouTube channel!

Check out Martin’s Deconstruction → Reconstruction Challenge on Skool.

Check out The Star of Bethlehem documentary mentioned on today’s episode.

Check out Martin’s books: Victorious Eschatology, Eyes Wide Open, and Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Follow Michele and Martin on Facebook

Follow Michele and Martin on Instagram

Follow Michele and Martin on TikTok

Michele Kus, M.A. on Linktree

Dr. Martin Trench on Linktree

Was Christmas really a one-night event in a lonely stable? Or have we oversimplified one of the most radical moments in human history?

In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Dr. Martin Trench bring you “A Very Unhinged Christmas” by dismantling common nativity myths and recovering the deeper historical, cultural, and cosmic meaning of the incarnation.

You’ll discover why the Christmas story actually unfolds over nearly two years, how ancient betrothal customs reshape our understanding of Mary and Joseph, why the Magi were Zoroastrian priest-astronomers watching the stars, and how celestial signs, Old Testament prophecy, and political upheaval all collide in the birth of Jesus. It’s a cosmic drama like none other in history!

Our deep-dive conversation explores:

• Why the incarnation should be celebrated daily — not just annually
• The cultural and biblical context of ancient pregnancy and betrothal
• Who the Magi really were and why constellations and the zodiac matter in the Christmas story
• Why the “three kings” were stars, not people
• The connection between Virgo, Leo, Judea, and Revelation 12
• Where Mary and Joseph likely stayed when Jesus was born
• How Christmas reveals a God who is fully present, not distant

This is not sentimental Christmas-card theology. This is incarnation as divine union, cosmic disruption, and embodied presence. Hallelujah!

Follow Unhinged on your favorite podcast platform. Fresh, new episodes drop every Friday!

Chapters:

00:00 It’s a Very Unhinged Christmas!

02:25 Why the Incarnation Was a Two-Year Event

08:28 Pregnancy, Prophecy, Betrothal, and Divine Visitation

15:18 Meet the Magi: Zoroastrian Priests From the East

19:20 How Ancient Astrologers Read the Night Sky

23:20 Essenes, Caves, and Bethlehem’s Guest House

28:25 Three ”King” Stars Align in the Constellation Leo

34:14 The Symbolism and Value of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh

40:18 How Families and Shepherds Kept Their Animals

45:43 Mary and Joseph Go to Egypt with Money

47:50 December 25 Was Probably Not Jesus’ Birthday

54:45 Bloopers and Outtakes