Alaine and Victoria team up with Dr. MAC to unpack one of the most uncomfortable, under‑discussed dynamics in mentoring, coaching, ministry, and therapy: erotic transference.

• What neuroscience, psychology and relational trauma teach us about emotional safety and mis‑interpreted bonding.

• Why safe spaces can trigger unexpected attachments, especially for those who’ve lived in survival mode.

• How faithful helpers, pastors, coaches, therapists, and those being helped can respond wisely when emotional lines go blurry.

• A faith‑forward lens: caring for the spirit, soul and body (1 Thess 5:23) without shame, yet with accountability.

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🧠 Key Talking Points

• Attachment & Repair: When your nervous system finally experiences safety, your body may mislabel it as romance or intense longing , not because it’s immoral, but because it’s healing.

• Boundaries vs. Barriers: Distinguishing healthy covenant connection from trauma‑based entanglement.

• Helper‑Helped Dynamic: What happens when you’re the “safe one” and someone leans in emotionally, how do you respond without stepping into romantic territory or abandoning relational responsibility?

• The Mind‑Centered View: Dr. MAC’s approach highlights the complexity of the mind (not just brain chemistry) and invites us to integrate intuition, relational brain‑functioning, and spiritual formation.

• Biblical Context: We reflect on 1 Thessalonians 5:23, Hebrews 4:15, and relational themes of “covenant” found in Scripture, affirming that emotional complexity always calls for sober stewardship.

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📚 Guest & Resources

Dr. Margaret Arnd-Caddigan, LCSW is a professor, psychotherapist, and published author whose work explores mind-centered therapy from a post-materialist perspective. In addition to her private practice, she provides clinical supervision, professional consultation, and continuing education for therapists. She co-hosts the podcast Finding Our Minds and has authored several works including Intuition in Therapeutic Practice and Holistic Psychotherapy from a Post-Materialist Perspective.

Dr. Margaret Arnd‑Caddigan, LCSW — professor, researcher and author. Notable works include:

• Intuition in Therapeutic Practice: A Mind‑Centered Depth Approach for Healing (2021)

• Holistic Psychotherapy from a Post‑Materialist Perspective (2024)

• Co‑author: Intuition in Psychotherapy: From Research to Practice (2019)

She also co‑hosts the podcast Finding Our Minds.

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“Did Y’all Hear That About Us?”

Reclaiming Sacred Friendship in a Suspicious World

📌 Episode Summary:

In this raw and revelatory episode of UNMUTE, Alaine and Victoria get real about covenant friendships, the kind of ride-or-die, spirit-forged relationships that go deeper than titles, positions, or public perception.

From a misunderstood sisterhood to biblical bonds that shaped destinies, this episode tackles the gossip, the grief, and the God-honoring truth of friendship that can’t be boxed in. You’ll hear what happened when Alaine’s husband questioned the bond… how Victoria processed being seen as “just the assistant”… and how the book Big Friendship helped them both name something sacred.

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📖 In This Episode, We Explore:

Modern-Day Baruch: What it looks like when someone really serves behind the scenes, with loyalty, risk, and prophetic precision.

When Friendship Is Mistaken for Romance: Why culture is more comfortable labeling love as sexual instead of sacred, and what that reveals about our lens.

Biblical Blueprints of Covenant:

• David & Jonathan (1 Samuel 18) — soul-knit loyalty that surpassed shallow connection.

• Moses & Joshua — a legacy-transfer rooted in mentorship, obedience, and presence.

• Paul & Timothy — generational trust that shaped the early church.

• Ruth & Naomi — loyalty through loss, transition, and new beginnings.

• Jesus & John — intimacy without fear, the disciple whom He loved.

• Hebrew Definition of Covenant (berith) — not a contract, but a binding, sacrificial, enduring commitment.

• How Psalm 68:6 (“God sets the solitary in families”) still shows up in friendships today.

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📚 Resource Spotlight:

Big Friendship by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman

This powerful book helped Alaine and Victoria see what was forming between them, a bond forged not in just shared work, but in shared life. It gave language to the sacred space of platonic, life-giving friendship.

🔗 Find the book here

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• Follow the Self Discovery Podcast on
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