In this episode of Trial & Error & Error, Ale and LJ unpack the toxic habit cycle: the decision to change, the burst of momentum, the inevitable stumble, and the slow slide back to square one.

You will hear why willpower is not the real solution, and how behavior change science points to a smarter path. Together, they share three practical tools to help you break autopilot patterns and rebuild habits that actually stick.

In this episode:

• 🔁 What the toxic habit cycle looks like, and why it keeps repeating
• 🧠 Why “just try harder” rarely works, and what to do instead
• 🎯 Tool 1: Clarify what you actually want, and make it concrete
• 🧩 Tool 2: Find your specific breaking points, and plan for them
• 🧘 Tool 3: Use mindfulness to catch habits before they take over
• 💬 A chat section to reflect on your “THAT girl” fantasy, relapses, and real-life triggers

🎧 Takeaway: Try smarter, not harder, and treat habit change like a skill you can practice.

In this episode of Trial & Error & Error, LJ and Ale unpack the truth behind open relationships and consensual non-monogamy. From definitions and common relationship styles to what the research says about satisfaction, jealousy, stigma, and mental health, they lay out the potential benefits and real risks so listeners can decide what fits their values.

In this episode, we cover:

• 💬 What an open relationship is (and what it is not)
• 🧩 Different types of consensual non-monogamy: swinging, polyamory, open relationships, and relationship anarchy
• 📊 What research says about relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction
• 🧠 Why jealousy still shows up, and how some couples manage it
• ⚠️ Common risks: unequal desire, boundary violations, and communication breakdowns
• 🧭 When opening a relationship might help, and when it can backfire
• 🛠️ A science-based approach to opening a relationship with clear boundaries and check-ins

✨ Listener takeaway: Open relationships are not a shortcut to fixing problems. They tend to amplify whatever is already present, so success depends on honesty, trust, and ongoing communication.

• Rubel, A. N., & Bogaert, A. F. (2016). Consensual nonmonogamy: Psychological well-being and relationship quality. Journal of Sex Research.
• Conley, T. D., et al. (2013). A critical examination of popular assumptions about the benefits and outcomes of monogamous relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review.
• Moors, A. C., et al. (2017). Stigma toward consensual non-monogamy. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
• Sheff, E. (2014). The Polyamorists Next Door.
• Haupert, M. L., et al. (2017). Prevalence of experiences with consensual nonmonogamous relationships. Archives of Sexual Behavior.
• Podcast: Multiamory Podcast (relationship science & CNM communication)
• Podcast: Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin?
• YouTube: Talks by relationship therapist Esther Perel on modern intimacy

Wedding planning looks dreamy on Pinterest, but in real life it is a mix of excitement, big decisions, and a few “wait… how much?!” moments 😅💍

In this episode, LJ shares her real-time wedding update: what the engagement was like, how couples can set expectations together, and the budgeting reality check that hits fast 💸. From choosing a venue 🏛️ and navigating guest list feelings 📋, to finding the right vendors 🎶📸🍰 and adding personal touches like the dress 👗, this is a behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to plan a wedding while keeping the relationship at the center ❤️✨

• Get aligned early as a couple so planning feels like teamwork, not tension 🤝❤️
• Budget first, dream second because wedding costs add up quickly 💰🧾
• The venue drives everything including the date, guest count, and overall vibe 🏛️🗓️
• Guest lists are emotional so boundaries and kindness matter 📋🫶
• Pick vendors based on priorities since they shape the experience of the day 🎶📸
• Expect stress, but protect the joy by building in fun moments along the way ✨🍰
• Perfection is optional but love and intention are not 💞