Trauma is not pathology.

It is biology.

In this episode, I map early loss, neglect, and survival strategies onto the neuroscience of trauma, attachment, addiction, and integration.

(00:00) Trauma as Biology, Not Pathology

(02:53) The Architecture of Survival

(03:34) Early Loss, Co-Regulation, and Turning Inward

(07:00) Betrayal Trauma and the Day/Night Child

(10:30) Addiction as Regulation (Pornography as a Survival Strategy)

(14:10) Post-Traumatic Growth and the Survival Facade

(20:30) Gratitude vs. Toxic Positivity

(23:24) The Green Square / Red Circle

(26:32) Kintsugi: Healing Without Erasing the Past

(27:31) Outro + Related Episodes

Rather than framing trauma responses as dysfunction or personal failure, this episode treats them as intelligent adaptations wired into the nervous system in response to overwhelming threat.

We explore:

• Early attachment, loss, and the role of co-regulation

• Betrayal trauma and dissociation

• Addiction as a logical form of nervous-system regulation

• Post-traumatic growth and the survival facade

• Integration as the movement from fragmentation to coherence

• Gratitude beyond toxic positivity

• The “Green Square / Red Circle” framework for holding harm and growth simultaneously

This is a personal episode, grounded in neuroscience, developmental psychology, and trauma research.

Healing here is not about erasing the past or reframing harm.

It is about integrating what happened into a coherent, embodied life.

Related Episodes

Breaking Habits: The Real Deal on Addiction and Recovery

https://tms.show/13

How Nihilism, Absurdism, and Existentialism Made Me Happier

https://tms.show/14

The Gift of Rock Bottom | Kierkegaard, Nihilism & Radical Acceptance

https://tms.show/20

Sources referenced

Copley, L. (2025). Using Gratitude & Happiness in Trauma-Informed Therapy. PositivePsychology.com

D’Amore Mental Health. Toxic Positivity vs. Genuine Gratitude

Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Harvard University Press

Janoff-Bulman, R. (2006). Schema-Change Perspectives on Posttraumatic Growth. In Handbook of Posttraumatic Growth

Perry, B. D., & Szalavitz, M. (2006). The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog. Basic Books

Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2006). The Foundations of Posttraumatic Growth. In Handbook of Posttraumatic Growth

Tronick, E. (2007). The Neurobehavioral and Social-Emotional Development of Infants and Children. W. W. Norton & Company

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Viking