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Topic Lords

Topic Lords

De : Jim Stormdancer
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 Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week.© 2026 Jim Stormdancer Art
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    • 326. A Dead Quarterback Can Still Score

      326. A Dead Quarterback Can Still Score
      Jan 19 2026
      Lords: * Cort * Ben Topics: * Oh man, remember the Geek Code? * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geek_Code * I discovered a fun fact about my neighborhood * Every 5x6 Nonogram * https://puzzarium.com/every-5x6-nonogram * The Calf Path by Sam Foss * https://poets.org/poem/calf-path * Phillip Rivers Microtopics: * Secret Playstation Things. * Transposing a matrix in SIMD. * Reclaiming your plug. * Trying and failing to use Libby. * Failing to check out library books from your toilet. * State-sanctioned piracy. * The restaurant where you had the dinner for your wedding. * The "my wife" voice. * Suddenly having nieces. * Hadad and Barney on Black Square Day. * The Talos Principal DLC. * The Geek Code Era. * VMS or OS/2 as a defining feature of your personality. * Dilbert, Perl, Doom, and X-Files: all equally culturally relevant to this day. * The Natural Bears Classification System for Gay Men. * The Human Code. * Your favorite grocery store's end-of-year recap. * The story of a Venezuelan woman between age 30 and 55, and her top 2000 interests. * Your favorite vowel in text messages you've sent this year. * What they call that AE vowel. * Speedrunning your entire email history in a weekend. * The Miracle Mile, where all the tar pits are. * Noted monster Sean "Diddy" Combs. * Two hip hop producers getting mad at each other. * Putting a plaque at your hotel explaining that Jim Morrison did not die at this hotel. * Being the plaque you want to see in the world. * Whether the Museum of Jurassic Technology has reopened after the fire. * A very earnest museum about a history that never was. * Wandering around dazed after every 5x5 nonogram is solved. * Doing your part to serve humanity by solving nonograms. * Do you remember where you were when Every 5x5 Nonogram Section 303 was finished? * Why a dippy bird can't keep you online. * Gesturing at the idea of collectively solving a problem. * Why we haven't heard from Peter Molyneux in a while. * What three digit numbers nonogram solvers think are interesting. * Sending 96 million solved nonograms into space as proof to alien life that humans are still capable of collective action. * Feeling bad about having installed an ad blocker and loading up a four hour block of ads from 80s TV. * Being prosecuted for use of ad blockers. * Look at that smirk. That's a man who knows he's preaching but getting away with it. * Getting a deck of flash cards to learn all of the pentameters. * Three iambs and a reverse iamb. * Your favorite good poems and your favorite shitpost poems. * Tony Gang Flame War. * Refusing to tackle the 40 year old quarterback after his wallet falls out on the field and the photos of his ten children unfold. * The median age of football players rising into retirement age as teenagers learn about the health risks and refuse to participate. * Using NBA 2K as a metaphor for the decline of civilization. * LA finally getting a football team again. (They have two now.) * Whether they're still playing Starcraft. * Broken 19 year olds who can't play Starcraft any more because their APMs are too low. * The experience of attending a live e-Sports event. * Whether they sell hot dogs and beer to the crowd at the live League of Legends event or if it's all GamerGrub and Feastables. * A Youtube shitpost made in Garry's Mod. * Channing Tatum playing the toilet in the Skibidi Toilet movie. * Al Gore: still alive? * Whether Wilford Brimley got plastic surgery to look that old.
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      1 h et 4 min
    • 325. Men, Explain Things To Me!

      325. Men, Explain Things To Me!
      Jan 12 2026
      Lords: * Erica * Micah * https://www.reddit.com/r/micahwrites/ Topics: * Puerto Rico branded holiday jams * Chive drama on Reddit * https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/comments/1o0j6hq/cuttingacupofchiveseverydayuntilthereddit/ * How to cure tinnitus (maybe) * The Ballad of Blasphemous Bill * https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46647/the-ballad-of-blasphemous-bill * In defense of making movies sequels until they're good again Microtopics: * Being finished with horrible shit. * Being in the middle of things forever. * The Minutes of the Intermittent Meetings of the Society of Apocryphal Gentlefolk, by Dark Art * Coming down from the high of PiCoSteveMo. * Explaining PiCoSteveMo to someone like it's their first time at Rocky Horror Picture Show. * Two things I'm willing to sacrifice to play PiCoSteveMo games. * Putting your PICO-8 game in a CRT filter. * Lawnmower Man, based on the title by Stephen King. * Developing a field system in Puerto Rico. * Winston's face appearing to the extent that Zoom thinks it's part of my chest. * A deafening hospital siren playing while you're trying to have a good time at the beach. * Pirate-themed massage. * Stealing the windsurfing gear and going for a ride. * Walking past the site of a pirate massage and fatal accident holding a solo cup. * Getting pushed off the road by seven full-sized Coca Cola trucks led by a Santa Sleigh and followed by a party truck with a giant octagonal speaker spreading holiday cheer. * Charging more for a well-traveled Coca Cola. * Holiday-Branded Traffic Jams. * Shipping your worst wine to India and it turns out that the sea voyage turns it into your best wine. * Spanish Milk. * Visiting Puerto Rico during linear time. * The Puerto Rican version of Sleep No More in which Bad Bunny might pull you into a dark corner for a one-on-one and it's not clear whether he works for the event or if he's just another attendee. * Day 57 of chopping chives on Reddit. * Drawing airplanes crashing into the chives that are too long. * Working with (and living with) the Chive Lord. * Comparing Day 1 chives with day 55 chives. * Finding Yoshi in a pile of chopped chives. * A job that exists. (But not one you get paid for.) * Asking the robot to add heart shapes to your food processor chives. * These are the Days of our Chives. * Each Sale I Drink a Glass of Water. * Self-hosting memes and Turing-complete memes. * Phase canceling your tinnitus. * Not wanting to look it up because then you'd know. * Curing tinnitus with extremely specific grenades. * A party where everyone is constantly singing their personal tinnitus tones. * Why don't we get bass tinnitus? * Can you cure bass tinnitus with snail caviar? * The native word for white people who are doing poorly in Alaska. * The ice worms wriggling their purple heads through the crust of the pale blue snow. * Pine trees cracking like little guns in the silence of the wood. * Prankster Bill dying with his arms and legs outstretched so that he won't fit in his coffin. * Poems that demand to be performed with a banjo. * Whether they have banjos in Alaska. * Having fun with the way words sound. * I'm not gonna make it – but I can be an X shape. * The Cremation of Sam McGee. * Burning your house down to get the insurance money to buy a telescope. * Making bad art until it becomes good. * Tremors 3: Back to Perfection. * A giant worm monster drilling up out of the ground in order to slice chives. * Really dwelling on how much you don't have in common with other people. * Six topics (and Shrieker Island) * A dollmaker on the run after making farcical plays about Hitler. * The Saved by the Bell themed music video featuring the same actors as the Final Destination movie it's promoting. * Would you take 90 minutes off of your life to have not seen Final Destination 4? * The replacement for the 1 to 10 pain scale where you decide which Final Destination movie you'd be willing to watch to take the pain away. * Low pain awareness. * Chess boxing win/loss ratios.
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      1 h et 6 min
    • 324. You Don't Love Staggering?

      324. You Don't Love Staggering?
      Jan 5 2026
      Lords: * Andrew * Kate Topics: * The strange and alienating experience of learning to drive at 40 * The mottos of the livery companies of London * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listofmottosandhallsoftheliverycompanies * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listofmottos * Independent They Stand! * https://archive.org/details/computer-games-magazine-issue-115-june-2000/page/n83/mode/2up?view=theater * Leda and the Swan, by William Butler Yeats * https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43292/leda-and-the-swan * Predecimalization currency in the UK * DIY TTRPG mapping software, the ridiculous way Microtopics: * Streaming making maps of video games on the Internet. * The people who are willing to watch someone map out every corner of this sprawling and convoluted game. * Writing about video games and writing video games. * Dicey territory. (Which is only appropriate.) * King Stephen, which will have been great. * Fun jokes and oblique references. * Forty and a half years old. * Building your life around not being able to drive a car. * Pockets of civilization separated by vast stretches of asphalt. * The car unsteering itself unless you hold the steering wheel in place. * Someone yelling at you with their little beep beep horn. * Learning a skill and forgetting how you learn it. * Learning a skill before you find out that learning is hard. * The false sense of immortality that allows people to get into a car. * During your driving test, pushing the drift button but the driving instructor is like "I don't see any blue sparks" * Learning to drive when you're six years old. * Getting your Lego Land driving license. * Awarding the worst student in your driving class the "most spirited" driver's license. * Explaining what livery companies are by reading the Wikipedia page also. * The Worshipful Company of Communicators. * Everything's so good, bread especially. * A great motto for clockmakers. * Does anyone know any cool Latin mottos? * When are all these servants having time to go out and have mottos?? * The Soggiest God you can Muster. * The Worshipful Company of Information Technologists finding a Latin word that is also a snack food for their motto. * Painting, staining, and compelling obedience. * Sticking with Hope Classic. * Shoemakers making jokes about supporting their customers. * Getting the salt/wit pun in there for people who know Latin. * Africa: always producing some novelty. * The 2000 IGF. * How to read a magazine together on a podcast. * John Carmack's Finger Server. * Doom Guy. * John Romero's specific type of memory. * How they invented mouse look. * Turning with the arrow keys and aiming a reticle around the screen with the mouse. * Dragging the mouse to the top of your cool dinosaur mouse pad. * Why doesn't Microsoft Excel keep the mouse cursor in the center of the screen? * The FPS phone interface where you swipe on the touchscreen until the button you want to press is in the center of the screen, then pull the trigger on the back of the phone and a shotgun sound plays. * Fold-away interface panels. * Thousand Hells, by the developer of King of Dragon Pass. * All the video games named "Rift" or "The Rift" * How can those terrified vague pink fingers push the feathered glory from her loosening thighs? * Zeus disguised as a swan. * Whether Marylin Monroe will would've loved Hades. * Going to Wikipedia's list of mottos because you need some more mottos. * How many ha'ppenies to a thruppence? * The half crown, worth 2/6. * Several hundred quarterfarthings. * Decimal Day, 1971. * Extremely forgeable coins. * Dividing the day into two sets of twelve. * Decimalization. (Based on 10 fingers.) * Tuppence and Thruppence. * IBM calling it "hexadecimal" because they refuse to say "sexadecimal" out loud. * Theater of the Mind storytelling. * Importing an occlusion map. * Tinting what the players can see green and tinting what the DM can see red or blue. * Swapping the lenses in anaglyph glasses so one person can only see red and the other can only see blue. * Hanging a projector from the ceiling and projecting the D&D map on the table. * A projector of uncertain parentage. * Harebrained vs. cockamamie. * A fun puzzle you can run off and waste a bunch of time solving. * A stochastic cinema where you never know if it's going to be comedy or horror and everything seems totally real to you and is about your personal failings. * Focusing on wibbly dream state. * How to exhale with your nose plugged. * Losing your Apple Watch on Mt. Everest and going back up to look for it and it turns out you dropped it in the shower. * Topics going into the bucket that nobody ever sees. * Writing a secret on a piece of paper and burying it on a hill with a single tree on it on a moonlit night.
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      1 h et 18 min
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