Why do conversations about fathers bring up so much emotion, shame, and defensiveness, especially for men?

In this episode of This Triggers Me, Dr Audra Horney (a therapist for men) and Dr. Brendan K. Hartman (a sociologist who researches the emotional well being of boys) unpack the complicated role fathers play in shaping men’s mental health, identity and emotional development.

From father wounds to modern parenting expectations, they explore why dads are often seen as either sacred or suspect and how both extremes miss the nuance. This conversation dives into generational shifts in fatherhood, emotional connection, shame, repair and the impact fathers have on boys and men’s wellbeing.

Key takeaways:

• Why fathers are such a triggering topic in conversations about masculinity and men’s mental health
• The tension between over praising dads for “bare minimum” parenting while also under crediting involved fathers
• How modern fatherhood has shifted across generations
• Common father wounds and why many men struggle to honestly reflect on their relationship with their dad
• The impact of emotional connection (or lack of it) on boys’ emotional development and men’s wellbeing
• Different father archetypes: the tyrant, the absent/workaholic father, and the teacher
• Why repair after mistakes matters more than perfection in parenting
• Research on fatherhood, bonding, hormones and paternity leave
• The loneliness and isolation many involved fathers experience
• Why men in caregiving roles are often treated with suspicion
• How therapy for men can help unpack shame, resentment, grief and emotional patterns tied to fatherhood

Connect with us

Email- thistriggersmepodcast@gmail.com

Social media- https://www.instagram.com/dr.audra.horney/

https://www.instagram.com/re.masculine/

https://www.instagram.com/thistriggersmepod/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thistriggersmepod

Find a Therapist for Men: www.draudra.com

Podcast post-production: Stacy Blackburn

After recording a more polished, intellectual episode about therapy for men (see Episode 5), Audra and Brendan returned to the studio for part 2 because part 1 didn’t feel personal enough.

In this episode of This Triggers Me, Dr Audra Horney (a therapist for men) and Dr. Brendan K. Hartman (a sociologist who researches the emotional well being of boys) dig into the messy, uncomfortable side of vulnerability. They explore why some people (Audra) easily default to intellectual instead of emotional, how performing vulnerability can replace real connection, and how this relates to men’s mental health.

Key takeaways:

• Why emotional safety is key to opening up
• The difference between real vulnerability and performing vulnerability
• How perfectionism and fear of judgment block emotional expression
• Why many men feel safer being the helper than receiving help
• The impact of emotional suppression on men’s mental health
• How sharing with the wrong people can feel worse than not sharing at all
• The role of gender socialization on men expressing emotion
• How overregulation, shame, and fear of “messing it up” limit connection
• The importance of rupture and repair in building emotional trust
• How therapy for men can create space to reconnect with yourself and move beyond old patterns

Connect with us

Email- thistriggersmepodcast@gmail.com

Social media- https://www.instagram.com/dr.audra.horney/

https://www.instagram.com/re.masculine/

https://www.instagram.com/thistriggersmepod/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thistriggersmepod

Find a Therapist for Men: www.draudra.com

Podcast post-production: Stacy Blackburn

What if therapy for men isn’t always the safe, supportive space it’s made out to be?

About this episode:

In this episode of This Triggers Me, a sociologist and a psychologist specializing in men’s therapy unpack why conversations about men’s mental health can feel so triggering and why many men feel let down by therapy itself.

They explore the gap between cultural messaging (“men just need therapy”) and the real experiences of men who report feeling dismissed, misunderstood or judged. This conversation challenges assumptions while offering a more honest look at what actually supports men’s wellbeing.

Key takeaways:

• Why men’s mental health and therapy for men can feel triggering or unsafe for some men
• Common experiences of invalidation, minimization, and dismissal in therapy
• The problem with blanket statements like “all men need therapy”
• How the perceived feminization of therapy can create resistance
• The impact of weaponized therapy language in relationships and culture
• How masculinity norms like self-reliance shape help-seeking behavior
• Why the therapeutic relationship not techniques is the strongest predictor of success
• A reframing of men’s therapy as collaborative, challenging, and accountability driven (not just venting)
• Structural barriers: cost, lack of choice, and gaps in training around men’s experiences
• The need for more accessible, nuanced support systems for men’s wellbeing

Connect with us

Email- thistriggersmepodcast@gmail.com

Social media- https://www.instagram.com/dr.audra.horney/

https://www.instagram.com/re.masculine/

https://www.instagram.com/thistriggersmepod/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thistriggersmepod

Dr Audra’s Directory of Therapists for Men: www.draudra.com

Podcast post-production: Stacy Blackburn