In today’s edition of The Update Journal, we begin in Queens—yes, Queens—where the Mets managed to hit rock bottom at home, getting swept in a doubleheader by the Rockies… a team that treats winning like it’s an optional side quest. At Citi Field, no less. Nothing says “home field advantage” like personally hosting your own downfall. At this point, the only thing elevated wasn’t the Rockies—it was the collective blood pressure of everyone in the building.

Then, love is dead—again. Megan Thee Stallion and Klay Thompson have called it quits, proving that even a Splash Brother can’t always stay afloat. Somewhere, Stephen Curry is shaking his head like, “This is why we keep our shots behind the arc… and out of relationships.”

And finally, we wrap it up with a tribute to the most dangerous sentence in the English language: “This felt like a good idea at the time.” Whether it’s trusting public WiFi, using your last challenge in the first inning, or thinking the Mets might salvage one game at home—today is a celebration of bold decisions… immediately followed by regret.

It’s messy, it’s painful, and somehow… it’s still funny.

In the healdines on #TheUpdate this Monday, a late night argument outside a Manhattan deli turned deadly — leaving one man shot dead and another wounded, cops and sources say.

A 16-year-old boy was shot and killed at a Brooklyn bodega during a deadly clash with another teen, according to police and the store’s manager.

And out in the American West in California, the man arrested in the shooting at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner is a highly educated tutor and amateur video game developer opposed to the policies of President Trump.