I recently was a guest on the Counter Culture Podcast with host Tina Griffin and was able to share so much of my story!

Phylis Mantelli was raised in a violent and abusive home with a mother who didn’t know how to show love or kindness. With so much trauma and pain in her past, Phylis felt lost for many years and dealt with her hurtful past in unhealthy ways - but God wasn’t finished with her story! Today, Phylis is an author and speaker, and she recounts her story of surviving her mother’s abusive behavior as a child and later, as an adult, breaking through the pain of that abuse and trauma to become a daughter who forgave her mom and recognized that God loved them both. She talks about the “body, mind, and spirit” connection in spiritual and mental health, and details the 16-year journey that led her to not only forgive her mother but also love her.

🔗 CONNECT WITH COUNTER CULTURE MOM

https://linktr.ee/CounterCultureMom

My latest book is now available for pre-order! UnMothered No More is a healing guide for daughters who long to break free from generational dysfunction, with honesty, compassion, and the wisdom of lived experience. I will walk alongside you through journaling prompts, prayer, and practical tools using the same practice I use in my own one-on-one coaching program. Click the link below to order it today!

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What role do you play if you are a stepmother? Do you treat your own daughter differently, or do you include all kids together as one?

After reading a post on social media about this very subject, I had to dive into this storyline. Let’s get into what a “mama mentor” really looks like.

My latest book is now available for pre-order! UnMothered No More is a healing guide for daughters who long to break free from generational dysfunction, with honesty, compassion, and the wisdom of lived experience. I will walk alongside you through journaling prompts, prayer, and practical tools using the same practice I use in my own one-on-one coaching program. Click the link below to order it today!

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How many times have you set New Year’s Resolutions only to feel like a fool for not completing them?

Don’t look at it as resolutions as much as intentions to move forward with the dreams you think about and don’t know where to start.

Let’s break it down and also give yourself grace that not everything has to be completed this year, let’s just move the needle

My latest book is now available for pre-order! UnMothered No More is a healing guide for daughters who long to break free from generational dysfunction, with honesty, compassion, and the wisdom of lived experience. I will walk alongside you through journaling prompts, prayer, and practical tools using the same practice I use in my own one-on-one coaching program. Click the link below to order it today!

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

My latest book is now available for pre-order! UnMothered No More is a healing guide for daughters who long to break free from generational dysfunction, with honesty, compassion, and the wisdom of lived experience. I will walk alongside you through journaling prompts, prayer, and practical tools using the same practice I use in my own one-on-one coaching program. Click the link below to order it today!

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Can you have a relationship with your toxic mother?

The answer is easier than you think, and it’s totally up to you and no one else. Let’s explore different ways you could possibly have a relationship with your mother if you think it could work.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

My latest book is now available for pre-order! UnMothered No More is a healing guide for daughters who long to break free from generational dysfunction, with honesty, compassion, and the wisdom of lived experience. I will walk alongside you through journaling prompts, prayer, and practical tools using the same practice I use in my own one-on-one coaching program. Click the link below to order it today!

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Part of breaking generational dysfunction is to stop allowing the excuse of, “But it’s your family.”

When do we stick by family because it’s family, and when do we have to decide on something better? Over the years I’ve come to a realization that loving families show up and it’s a safe place, not a place that makes you more miserable when you are around them.

Knowing that unless THEY (your mom or family member) want to repent and change AND show that difference over time, you are not required to “hang in there”. That serves no purpose and you will never change the dynamic of your future life or family.

Stand strong in this journey of breaking generational dysfunction.

Remember you have a community here. If you haven’t joined “The Unmothered Community” our private group on Facebook is growing each day, and I have a lot of new plans for these amazing, strong women in the future. Just answer 3 questions and you are welcome to join us!

Family is not just the people who gave birth to you, but people who show up and love well!

Check out the book I mention: "But It’s Your Family…: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath" by Dr. Sherrie Campbell: https://bit.ly/3X387yj (this is a affiliate link)

The movie mentioned is “Hillbilly Elegy” which is the true story of VP Candidate JD Vance.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

My latest book is now available for pre-order! UnMothered No More is a healing guide for daughters who long to break free from generational dysfunction, with honesty, compassion, and the wisdom of lived experience. I will walk alongside you through journaling prompts, prayer, and practical tools using the same practice I use in my own one-on-one coaching program. Click the link below to order it today!

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Does your mom think she’s your best friend? Some mother-daughter relationships blur the line between love and control, with moms inserting themselves into every aspect of their daughter’s life—where they live, what job they take, and even how they dress. Often, this stems from a deep fear of being left behind or an unfulfilled need to relive experiences through their child.

While their intentions may not always be harmful, the emotional toll can be overwhelming. This episode unpacks the signs of an overly enmeshed mother, the impact on daughters, and the challenges of setting boundaries. Breaking free isn’t easy, but recognizing these patterns is the first step toward reclaiming your independence—without the guilt.

✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✔️ Why some mothers struggle to separate their own identity from their daughter’s life

✔️ The subtle (or not-so-subtle) ways control and guilt come into play

✔️ Signs you have an overly enmeshed mother

✔️ The emotional toll—and how to break free

✔️ How to set boundaries while maintaining (or redefining) the relationship

📖 Quote from the Episode:

"In a healthy relationship, the bond between a mother and her daughter is meant to be a flexible, malleable connection that can withstand distance, conflict, and differences." — Susan Forward, Mothers Who Can’t Love

💡 Final Takeaway:

Breaking free from an over-involved mother can be tough, but true freedom comes from standing firm in who you are—even if it means weathering her disapproval. Your life is yours to live.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

My latest book is now available for pre-order! UnMothered No More is a healing guide for daughters who long to break free from generational dysfunction, with honesty, compassion, and the wisdom of lived experience. I will walk alongside you through journaling prompts, prayer, and practical tools using the same practice I use in my own one-on-one coaching program. Click the link below to order it today!

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

What are the qualities or differences in a healthy Mom versus a toxic Mom?

Big differences in my opinion. Is there such a thing as a perfect mom? I haven’t met one yet, but I know we can always do better than what we have grown up in if we have, in fact, grown up in toxicity.

Let’s talk about what each of these kinds of moms looks like, and see if there is any improvement that needs to be made on our part to be the kind of mother we dream of.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

My latest book is now available for pre-order! UnMothered No More is a healing guide for daughters who long to break free from generational dysfunction, with honesty, compassion, and the wisdom of lived experience. I will walk alongside you through journaling prompts, prayer, and practical tools using the same practice I use in my own one-on-one coaching program. Click the link below to order it today!

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

As I was channel surfing, I stopped on The Bachelorette. I never watch this show anymore, but of course, I was curious! I swear God wanted me to hear this. Gabby Windey was on a date, and they were talking about family.

His parents had been married forever and loved each other fiercely. She started telling him about her fractured relationship with her mom! When she graduated, her mother wrote her off …she started to cry. It broke my heart. She excused herself and was crying to the producers. They asked her what “triggered” the reaction.

If we look at the history of where your parents came from, chances are there has been a lot of dysfunction for many generations. It may have started with them, but it ends with you! You have the potential to end the cycle of dysfunction and unhappiness.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.